Sunday Family Humour 4th April 2010

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

A very special thank you to all contributors.

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A couple of Jokes

Thanks to Larry

Mohammed entered his classroom.

"What is your name?" asked the teacher.

"Mohammed", answered the kid.

"We are in Australia and, there is no Mohammed. From now on your name will be Bruce," replied the teacher.

In the evening, Mohammed returned home. "How was your day, Mohammed?" asked his mother.

"My name is not Mohammed, I am in Australia and now my name is Bruce."

"Ah, are you ashamed of your name, are you trying to disown your parents, your heritage, your religion?"

"Shame on you," and she beat him.

Then she called the father and he too beat him savagely.

The next day Mohammed returned to school.

When the teacher saw him with all the bruises she asked: "What happened to you little Bruce?"

"Well, Miss, 2 hours after becoming Australian I was attacked by two BIG ugly Arabs!"

Crying Irish Boy

A wee Irish boy is crying by the side of the road.

A man asks "What's wrong?"

Boy says "Me Ma is dead."

"Oh bejaysus" the man says "Do you want me to get Father O'Riley?"

Wee boy replies", No thanks Mister, sex is the last ting on me moind roight now."

The Parrot

Thanks to David H.

The Smartest Kid in Class

Thanks to Mark. Laos

Disturbing Ads

Thanks to Ray O'

Engine Additive

Thanks to Mark, Laos

Ken and Edna

Thanks to Jane MacR

                                   

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.....

It's about learning to dance in the rain

Ken and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year,

And every year Ken would say,

'Edna, I'd like to ride in that helicopter'

Edna always replied,

'I know Ken, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks,

And fifty bucks is fifty bucks'

One year Ken and Edna went to the fair, and Ken said,

'Edna, I'm 75 years old.

If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance'

To this, Edna replied,

"Ken that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks'

The pilot overheard the couple and said,

'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny!

But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.'

Ken and Edna agreed and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.

He did his daredevil tricks over and over again,

But still not a word...

When they landed, the pilot turned to Ken and said,

'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't.

I'm impressed!'

Ken replied,

'Well, to tell you the truth,

I almost said something when Edna fell out,

But you know,

"Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!'

Principles of Emptiness

Thanks to Ray O'

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