Sunday Family Humour 23rd May Page 3
From The Air
Thanks to Tony
Making a 737 - Florida One
Thanks to David H.
VATICAN HUMOR
Thanks to Ray O'
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.
'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'
'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.'
'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning..
'Who's going to tell?' says the Pope with a smile.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kms.. (Remember, the Pope is German..)
'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.
'So bust him,' says the Chief.
'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed,' All the more reason!'
'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence.
The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: ' A senator?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: 'The Prime Minister?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
'Well,' said the Chief, 'who is it?'
Cop: 'I think it's God!'
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?'
Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'
Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humour out of life,
And pass it on to other folk.
Hidden for Half a Century:
The 1940 Barn Dodge!
Thanks to Ray O'
You have heard stories of barn finds before. Some sound incredible, some unbelievable. But here's one that might top 'em all. It's the true story of one 1940 Dodge Deluxe Sedan.
Back in 1940, life in the Country was running at a different pace. You could leave your house unlocked, and, of course, your car. Television and graffiti were words without meaning. Pearl Harbor was an event of the future. It would take two more years until the United States would enter World War II.? Life was hard but good . . .
At about this time VIN *30231403* was built by proud American workers in Detroit, Michigan, one of 84,976 Dodge D-14 DeLuxe four-door sedans manufactured in 1940. A veterinarian from Horseshoe Bend, Idaho, purchased the blue Dodge new at the local Dodge dealer in Boise . He used it to respond to calls all through the war years; his 1944 permit is still affixed to the windshield. Being a very valuable asset during war times, the car was always parked in a dedicated spot in the barn when not in use. In 1948, the good Doctor passed away. The car was put on blocks and covered with bed sheets. No, it was not going to be for sale. Who would have guessed at that time that the Dodge would be asleep for more than 50 years . . .
alt="Dodge 3"
Children became adults, parents, then grandparents. The old Dodge was still slumbering in the barn. In the late 1980s an attempt was made to awaken and sell the car. Finally, early in 2003, the time had come. The bed sheets were taken off, the car was lifted from the blocks, and the tires were filled up with air. A new owner was found. He took the Dodge to Southern California .
63 years old and with only 42,342 original miles showing on its odometer, this Dodge personifies the term "reference car." More importantly, it represents a rare opportunity to experience how it felt driving a new car in the 1940s. Time to start our little journey around this amazing Dodge . . .
The body, amazingly, is straight and absolutely rust free, thanks to being stored in a dry, well ventilated barn, away from the elements. The blue lacquer paint is original, factory applied. Sure, it's worn thin on the tops of the fenders, shows a myriad of nicks, imperfections, and touch ups from the past. There are a few small dings here and there, but not an ounce of body filler nor a single rust bubble. It's all heavy metal! Repainting this car--ever--would be an unforgivable sin! Its patina is irreplaceable and gives the Dodge its inherent value.
Another Dodge industry first for 1940: safety rims! The wheels still feature their factory triple pinstriping, the heavily chromed hubcaps are beautifully preserved. Even the painted red detailing is still intact! Bias ply tires of the dimension 6.00x16 look original as well. I don't think they make "Pennsylvania Rx Supertest Cord S-3" rubber anymore . . .
Open the doors and be invited into a cabin that's 100% factory original. Unmolested, unmodified, unrestored. It has the special 1940s aroma and charm that cannot be duplicated. It should never be restored, instead be enjoyed just the way it is.
Dashboard is a masterpiece of Art Deco design. Fabulous painted metal creates the ambiance of lightly stained wood. Nickel plated accents duplicate the look of then-popular costume jewelry. Every single part seems infused with the designer's idea to create a harmonious environment; details such as the retracting ash receiver lid are simultaneously good-looking and functional. There's simply no comparison to present-day throwaway products, sprouting black plastic appendages everywhere. Nevertheless, the Dodge was built with entirely modern creature comforts. It features dual electric windshield wipers, Sealed Beam lamps, floating power, hydraulic brakes, telescopic shock absorbers, a column-shifted, synchronized transmission, tinted glass, a chromed horn ring, and a host of other innovations.
What was found in the felt-lined, locking glove box is nothing short of astonishing in its historical context:
Owner's instruction book in its original envelope
"Sentinel" first aid kit, incl. a bottle of "Mercuro-Chrome"
Small upholstery brush
Promotional lead pencil "Compliments of DeRail Pool Hall, Glenn's Ferry ID"
Old bottle opener
Parking stub dated 8/16/1941, from the "Glen Valley Rodeo"
Small metal box containing "Buss Auto Fuses"
"Ideal Split Shot" box containing. a tire valve and a fishing hook
Pair of celluloid sunglasses
"Travel Idaho with CONOCO" road map
Ample space for three on the comfy front bench, featuring "airfoam" seat cushions. Original mohair still looks good, with the unavoidable stains and moth attacks kept to a minimum.
alt="Dodge 11"
Through large, rear-hinged suicide doors, entry to the spacious passenger compartment is easy, even when wearing a top hat. Luxuriously equipped with arm and foot rests, woven grab handles, beveled-glass interior light, and (unused) ash tray, passengers will invariably exclaim: "This feels like Driving Miss Daisy!"
Roomy trunk sports original jute mats. Original spare wheel and jacking equipment are present, as well as some spares and a small tool tray. Also included is a set of new GOODYEAR tires of the proper size and a set of new inner tubes. We did not feel the need to mount the new tires, however, it might be advisable before embarking on an extended journey.
A beautiful classic car, ready to be of service!
"Let us MARFAK your car!" proclaims TEXACO's old service sticker on the door jamb. Dodge was just lubed and serviced, 2,000 miles ago, in 1948 . . .
Note the carmine-colored, bakelite necker knob, Dodge's early version of power assisted steering. If you have to ask why it's called a necker knob, you're probably too young to buy this car.
Art deco trim
Cloisonne emblem
Firewall tags
Rear vent window
Above, clockwise, from top left:
Art deco headlight bezel with glass parking light lenses
Beautifully preserved, original "Crystal Ball" lucite antenna top
Unmarked rubber floor mat and pedal pads, irrefutably confirming the car's low mileage
Original heater below dash
Rear vent windows open wide
Dodge Brothers tags on firewall
Masterful Cloisonne (enameled) rear emblem
Art deco door handles and stainless side trim
Engine compartment is clean and original as well. Dodge's 217 cu.in , 6-cylinder engine was good for 87 lively horsepower. It starts instantly and runs like the proverbial Swiss watch. Items recently replaced or serviced include the battery, water pump, ignition wires, spark plugs, fuel tank, carburetor, brakes, and shocks. Original honeycomb radiator core looks gorgeous! And, yes, the horn works, just like everything else on this time machine.
Amazingly intricate, heart-shaped grille presents itself in outstanding condition, with brilliantly sparkling chrome. Bumpers and over riders are beautiful and functional, too. Car's brightwork appears excellently preserved throughout. Note the wonderfully maintained running boards, which were optional on the 1940 models. So, what's it like driving a 63-year old Dodge?
Very impressive, thank you very much. Turn on the ignition--with the original "CDPD" key--and press the foot knob for the starter. The engine comes to life instantly, idling almost inaudibly. Pull the gear lever down into first, release the clutch, and you'll pull away smoothly. Everything is smooth about the Dodge. Suspension and brakes transmit a safe and sound feeling. Acceleration is brisk, at least by 1940 standards. All the gauges work. Oil pressure is great and the car runs cool. In a nutshell, it's a delightful cruiser! Even the PHILCO radio still hums when turned on; it seems the speaker cone needs replacing.
All this car needs is one appreciative caretaker. It's a very rare find and definitely a "keeper" for the right Dodge enthusiast.
Best of all, it's a true rust free, low-mileage Dodge that could even be used every day, if you so desire. There are not too many 63-year old, original cars in this Country that could make this claim! ?
What is Old?
"OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Choose one, I can't do both!"
"OLD" IS WHEN.. Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
"OLD" IS WHEN. A sexy babe catches your eye and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
"OLD" IS WHEN.... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by.... The doctor instead of by the police.
"OLD" IS WHEN.... "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fibre today.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to wee