Boobs!! Howling 2: Your Sister is A Werewolf/Stirba--Werewolf Bitch

So I'm not even going to hide it, because its the best hook I have, and I don't have a link nor do I own it as of writing and I have a fever and stuff, so here we go: BOOBS.

That. Was a long sentence.

I had plans for a Howling 2 review, but time constraints have really forced me down this singular path. And to be completely honest, you are not missing much. I'm not saying skip H2. No my friends, I am encouraging you to all go out and check it out. If you're looking for gory, goofy, and garish, look no further than H2. I promise, you will enjoy it if bad 80s horror is your thang.

First off, Christopher Lee is in it. As a crusading man of the cloth, he's after a pack of werewolves to prevent the rebirth of werewolf queen Stirba. He has the best lines in the movie, and it starts with the opening lines: "For it is written: the inhabitants of the Earth have been made drunk with her blood. And I saw her sent upon a hairy beast and she held forth a golden chalice full of the filthiness of fornications. And upon her forehead was written: "Behold I am the great mother of harlots and all abominations of the Earth."" Seriously. A man who can say such a mouthful is worth of every academy award ever made. I love Lee. :3

Second. Reb Brown. Yes, try to hold back the many names of Dave Rider, Chunk Beefsteak himself stars as Ben, who's sister turned into a werewolf in the first movie. Don't worry about that. Just settle back and let the Space Mutiny acting envelope you. Don't believe me? Here's a little piece of the action. Keep an sharp ear out for the Reb Brown Special Scream.

Right? There are some beautifully bad acting jobs in this film, and that only makes it better. One of my favorite lines from the movie is near the end. Don't even ask for context: "Is that dwarf staring at us...?" Its said with such seriousness it completely becomes hilarious on its own.

The last and final thing that you need to know is that Sybil Danning flashes her boobs for the camera and proceeds into a werewolf orgy. That have your attention? Its all sex and gore and laughs here folks, don't take it seriously for a second. This is straight comedy gold. How do I know? Because the ending credits show that very scene of Danning ripping off her dress to expose herself no less than 17 times in the space of almost 3 1/2 minutes. And its intercut with GOLDEN reactions from all over the movie, contextless and hilarious, and fresh directly to you. I'm not even kidding. You can watch it for yourselves (censored here as the original has been removed--how utterly unamerican):

The end credits sequence looks as if someone wanted to make a parody music video--AND ITS THE ENDING CREDITS. If this doesn't make you take it less seriously, then you need a humor transfusion. The end credits do allow you to hear Babel's song "The Howling" in most of its entirety. I'm not lying when I say this song is actually pretty damn good (but most horror films have damned good music). If you like it, here's another vid of it with slightly better quality:

So seriously. See Howling 2 if not for the boobies but for the laughs. I guarantee you won't be disappointed in the laughs department. Highly recommended (even better with friends!)

Dropbox file link to uncensored version, click here. (Video quality is lower than first link)

By Dio (10/26/12)

Poster from classichorror.com.