X-E Horror Tribute: Movies, Toys, and Dirt

Without needing a book to do it, Matt reviews Stanley Kubric's The Shining, but instead of going too in depth and giving you food for thought before you see it (if you haven't already), he gives some points on things that stuck with him all these years, from the Native American subplot theory to, and I quote: "the fucking ghost in the bear costume".

Nightmare on Elm Street makes an article, with a good play by play summary of the film from the beginning to the wild ride to the end. He also buffs the article with awesome Freddy products along the way, as well as establishing that 1) cops are assholes who'd rather eat donuts than save kids from freaky dream pedos, and 2) some of these kids just asking for it. It comes in 2 parts, and part 2 is available at the end of the first part.

From the well-known franchises (and I haven't hit all of the ones Matt has covered, because its late, and I think I could stretch this out another article is work bites me in the ass), we'll start to go into the little known horror movies, starting with the Gremlins rip-off Critters. After the success of Gizmo and co, the 80s took a huge hit in the groin with demonic puppet flicks, and Critters was one of them. There were...a bunch of movies. Not just the one. Not two. Not three. Four. Yes. They got four movies out of it.

You know what else somehow four movies out of it? Ghoulies. Another bad 80s demonpuppet movie, the Ghoulies series just oozes bad, and there's not a mop to be found. Quoted by Matt to be the epitome of bad 80s monster flicks, you will not be disappointed. I often mix up Critters 2 with Ghoulies 2 and for good reason, because your money scenes of puppets going amok aren't much different from either movie, except maybe one has green ones, and the other has fuzzy ones. In the third installment, they go to college in a poor excuse to simultaneously capitalize the Gremlins and John Belushi's Animal House. Yeah, its as bad as you imagine it. But installment four has a hot chick in latex. All is somewhat but not really forgiven.

Speaking of fourth installments, here's a review of my fav Leprechaun movie, Leprechaun 4: Leprechaun in Space. Seriously. It really is. I mean, Matt makes the movie sounds hilariously amazing, and it is. Then they had to follow the damn thing up with a stereotypical black comedy that wasn't as insane as the previous (though watching him smoke pot is somewhat worth 5 cents of the rental). You want another horror movie franchise that's amazing in space? Try Jason X. Its also similarly amazing.

Dolly Dearest, considered an inferior Child's Play clone, is also reviewed, and it doesn't sound too bad, considering Chuckie dominates the evil doll genre and doesn't like to share like the little bitch he is.

Matt doesn't just content himself with bad 80s and 90s flicks. He goes back to some classics, including the 1930s film Freaks, which is actually a really good film that makes it into horror movie courses in some colleges. Also vintage horror is The Devil's Rain, which stars Willaim Shatner, Ernest Borgnine, Tom Skerrit, and John Travolta. I'm dead serious. Shot in the mid 70s, it comes from a horror tradition that sometimes, evil wins, and its unsettling. Its worth a view just to see all these stars come together in a satanic supernova. And people melt. Serious.

Going to the tender side of the films, we get a review of My Demon Lover. Ok its not tender, its full of sex. But funny 80s romance sex. Do you like Scott Valentine? Too bad, this is a Valentine vehicle.