• Zombies: you have to shoot them in the head. Or burn them.
• Otherwise they come back with claws…and can run.
• Local law enforcement sucks.
• ...Despite the heavy weaponry they are authorized to use.
• ...For that matter, mercenary groups also suck.
• However, the local SWAT team doesn’t suck.
• Neither do newbies that turn badass.
• There is a penalty for being too good; someone will be sent to kill you.
• And they will be persistent about it.
• Pharmaceutical companies are evil.
• Lickers are a thing.
• You will never look at Fido the same way again.
• Or your roses…
• Or birds…
• Or even that alligator you saw at the zoo.
• Getting high will heal you, so SMOKE DAT HERB! (Disclaimer: Random Lunacy does not endorse drugs of any kind. Remember, “Winners don’t use drugs.”)
• EKG meters show your health. Don’t worry about numbers; we’ll just tell you “You’re Fine!”
• Apocalyptic logs will offer you hints of what to do…
• Or hint at that thing in the closet behind you.
• Mansion architects love puzzles as much as Professor Layton does.
• For that matter, so do police department architects.
• You will become hungry for sandwiches.
• You will grow to loathe ink ribbons.
• Your best weapon…is a handgun.
• Or, if you’re name is Leon Kennedy, your knife is your best weapon.
• “BITCH THIS AIN’T A CUTSCENE, PRESS A!”
• Don’t trust a man that wears sunglasses at night.
• Don’t stand near windows. Ever.
• Villagers are not zombies.
• Rejects from the movie “The Thing” will make a return.
• To show manliness, punch boulder.
• To save your female friend, grab boob.
• Step 1: When all else fails, use rocket.
• Step 2: Fire rocket at abomination
• Step 3: ???
• Step 4: EXPLOSION!
• You will die in numerous ways.
• When in doubt, saturate.
--Choco Thunda (10/12/11)
(all images courtesy of Capcom)
Also, Happy 55th Birthday, Pops! ^^ From all your kids on Random Lunacy)