Andrew V
Prologue
BRIIIIING!
“...err, oh! It’s my alarm clock!”
He thought it was a rabbit in his nightly slumber. Groans rained from Nick’s mouth as he wrestled a snuggle snake (snugglius slitherus) trying to evade the bed. This would, could, and should be a normal Friday morning, but it wasn’t.
Joe wandered aimlessly, yet attempted to reach his friend Nick’s two-storey house. Since they’re wittle bubbzy-wubbzy babies, they needed to walk to school together. They’re late almost all the time because they’d chat a teeny-weeny little bit. Okay, who am I kidding? Their mouths go on long hiking trips and leave no forwarding address!
‘It’s quite nice going this speed.’ pondered Joe. ‘You notice things you don’t usually, like the snail that just overtook me.’
He glanced at his wrist. Joe leaped and high-fived the moon.
“Oh no! It’s hair to freckle!” yodeled Joe, and sped to Nick’s in no time, flat.
Chapter 1: What? How? Why?
“Hey man! School time!” Joe called as he slammed open Nick’s door.
No answer.
“Bro! Hurry up! You want ‘Cheez Curlz’ or what? I got some loose change!” he yelled, steam bellowing from his ears.
Still no answer.
“NICK!” Joe yelled, ticked off. There’s no way he couldn’t hear that. Joe stood there, frozen. Yet Nick didn’t bother to yonder to the door. Joe was a ninja, creeping around the house, about to assassinate his victim, who answers to the name of ‘Nick’. An eternity later, Nick was spotted on the couch, iPad on, headphones blaring.
“Hey.” Nick said as he noticed Joe. “‘Sup?”
“I’m fine. School?” replied Joe, as if playing hot potato with words.
“Nah. I’ve come up with a genius way of skipping school; by playing video games and saying it’s Saturday!”
The potato is warm now…
“Cool.”
It’s burning hot…
“Let’s go!”
It’s on fire when Nick passes it to Joe. He trips, slips and dips his face into Nick’s eggs, carelessly misplaced on the floor. Nick laughed hysterically, and mouthed ‘Epic Fail!’ at Joe.
For the next hour, ‘Bleep’, ‘Zap’, ‘Pow’, and ‘Zoom’ are the only things heard…
...from the nerd and the other nerd…
...okay I’ll stop.
The smell of face-tainted eggs rushed up their noses. The screen morphed pictures repetitively, for their entertainment. The duo ignored the exotic landscape, where the bluebirds chirped and leaves danced in the wind. If anyone saw this, they would agree that they deserved a punishment, yet not necessarily severe. But something did happen, and the next thing they knew is that they weren’t playing video games anymore.
Chapter 2: Back to Square One
A squadron of two nerds flew, ground-bound…
I should’ve stopped before it started with the rhyming… damn it!
Let’s try this again.
A squadron of two nerds flew, pavement-bound. They weren’t on their couch; they thought they had carelessly misplaced themselves on their home street. But, there weren’t any houses, at least for a long way. There was only one possible explanation, despite it being impossible: they were in the video game!
Joe was whining, crying and may have even wet his pants.
“It just isn’t possible!” Joe sniffled sadly.
“Jerk!” He screamed, changing his mood.
Joe threw a punch, fist flying towards Nick. He flew to the ground on contact. Joe sprinted, hyper-sonic, away from Nick, leaving him with nothing…
Chapter 3: ‘Those who fall down and get up again are stronger than the ones who have never fallen.’ Just… persevere and ignore this long chapter name.
Nick watched the ghostly figure in the abyss in front of him. He lay there, smiling. At nothing. His head might’ve gotten hit too hard. He helped himself up, without a friend. He seemed broken. His chosen brother and best friend, gone. He wandered around, dislodged an axe from the half of a tree, and got to work.
After hacking at a couple of wooden abominations, he forged a pickaxe hastily. After that, he slammed it against a cave wall. The process kept repeating, upgrading every time. He eventually ventured forth for valuables. Next millennium, Nick found a jackpot of gold, and morphed into a leprechaun, grabbing it here and there. He rose his torch, and a precious diamond glinted from the light. Hastily, he zoomed to the diamond, mined it, and a banana stretched across his face. He practically teleported to his makeshift shack he handcrafted he ran so fast. He smacked together armour and weapons of steel.
As he hacked at yet more trees, he came up with a horrendous chant that didn’t even rhyme (thank goodness).
‘Never let go, go, go.
Never give up, up, up.
Never let go, never give up.’
He tripped over a twig and face-planted into its stump, the one he just cut down. He couldn’t even come up with the rest of the chant. He shook himself from the near concussion. He jumped into another cave. No luck at all. Stone for miles and miles. He reached the iron age. It was high-stake too. If you blinked, you’d plummet into an endless chasm.
Nick caught a strange-looking fire in his eye. Groans. Not from Nick. He recognised it right away and laughed.
‘Zombie.’ He thought. ‘That strange machine that produces them. E? They have-’ he stretched the last word in his mind. ‘Valuables’. He knew playing this game would help him.
Nick rhino-charged into the mossy room. He thrashed his sword, and threw a spanner in the works, of the ‘Spawner’ thingy. He walked over to a chest in a corner. Opened. It. Slowly. Found. A… huuuuuuge stash of junk. The kid was red hot mad. Yelled stuff. Not nice stuff. He struck lucky at the end of the cave with a truckload of emerald, sapphire, diamond, the lot. Nick sped out of the cave like speedy Gonzalez, dodging every obstacle that came at him.
Chapter 4: Prep
Nick Inspirato packed up his makeshift hut and forged an aggressive-looking fort, with all the bells and whistles. Lava moats, cannons, the lot. It took time, and Nick is a grasshopper when it comes to patience. He couldn’t stand still for a minute without doing anything. He kept drifting off, yet his immense structure grew taller and taller. He was on a (bread) roll, (he’s hungry) but a chill rushed up his spine when he heard a faint chant for blood. It was around 30 degrees Celsius in the virtual world and he had goose bumps. The chant grew louder. He wet his pants. Not a lot, but definite leakage. Nick sped to the tippy-top of the tallest spire of his fort. He shook with fear. Or it was the momentum from his lightspeed running.
Chapter 5: Are You Ready?
The leaves on the trees swayed lifelessly. Left, right, left, right. Precisely the same every time. The chant was deafening now. It rained binary on Nick’s head, like hailstones, but he didn’t feel a thing. It was binary rain coming from the virtual flying sheep people call clouds. The warriors from Joe’s army marched past the hill, past the miniature pony (cute but sadly, virtual), and bound towards the virtually true Nick. From the glinting castle of andesite, the warriors looked like ants. Ants that went completely loony and were swinging axes into their allies. Fake warrior blood(tomato sauce, maybe) squirted from the loony ants waving axes and swords, reaching the tippy top of ‘Castle de Nick’. He grabbed a stylish yet generic bow and his quiver, slapped it on, and picked off the rest of the horde. Nick glared at the cable holding a 50 tonne granite block, hoping it will crush a soldier, not fall with a depressing thud.
Chapter 6: Horde 2
The next horde of Joe’s army wasn’t up his sleeves. Nick was scarred with fear. The next horde was smarter than the previous, yet easier to survive. The cable was on the brink of snapping, and the warriors were on the brink of extinction. The cable reached its last strand! The cable gave way, and squashed the warriors to mush.
A last warrior marched over the hill…
Followed by a giant being, almost as big as the castle. It seemed impossible to survive but he believed. He bombarded the giant with arrows, but it was a massage to it. The giant accidentally mashed the lone warrior, leaving the giant to go. He snatched a portable tesla (they’re really cool; $5.99 at Big W), and made the giant a well-done giant steak!
Nick hopped down the castle onto the surface. So did Joe. They thought about what they’ve gone through. From the plan, to betrayal, to the fight, to this. They both outstretched their arms, dropped their tomato-sauce-stained swords, and hugged each other. For an eternity and a half.
Chapter 7: Absconding
It took a while to escape. Joe took a ruler with him to find out how long it took. It measured 12mm. A.k.a 12 millenniums. They figured they had to earn all achievements, including building a base underground. That was their last challenge. And as if by magic, they were back on the street. They were really tired. Their panting was deafening. They headed to their legitimate homes and called it a day. And for whatever reason, they couldn’t sleep. Nick and Joe were scarred with insomnia. They had no idea what insomnia was, but they had a sick feeling they had it.
Chapter 8: Epilogue
BRIIIIING!
Oh, it’s his alarm clock! He thought it was a rabbit in his nightly slumber. Groans rained from Nick’s mouth as he tac-
Let’s skip this part, shall we? I’ll get into the action. When Joe arrives at Nick’s.
“Hey. Let’s skip school and play video games!” Nick exclaimed excitedly.
Chapter 8b: Epi-Epilogue
The duo eventually escaped from the infinite loop. Nick, in particular, and now live a healthy lifestyle and only play video games occasionally.