A Grinnell Eggucation

MARKETPLACE DINING HALL – After much debate and consideration, the extremely popular eggs to order is back for breakfast! This new service directly combats the conspicuous lack of healthy and delicious breakfast items in the dining hall, and even promotes the ever-present spirit of self-gov through allowing students to make their own food.

“Yeah,” explained one dining hall staff member when asked about the recent addition, “we figured we could kill two birds with one stone – this provides both better breakfast options and builds independence and leadership skills among the students.”

Many students share a positive sentiment about making their own breakfast, and remain extremely excited about the opportunity. Unfortunately, a new problem has arisen. “We didn’t realize the amount of fundamental cooking skills that many students lack,” one staff member admitted.

“We’ve ended up with eggs all over the counter and floor, and a lot of burned and undercooked eggs.”

Some students were confused about how the eggs were intended to be eaten, while others didn’t realize what uncooked eggs actually looked like. A few cracked the raw eggs in a bowl, and then sprinkled some raisins and walnuts on top and proceeded to eat them with a spoon – a method they claimed was good, but one which they also admitted tasted a bit different from the way others cooked eggs for them.

Another group spent 10 minutes “cooking” their eggs before someone informed them that the burner actually had to be turned on.

Consequently, there has been some talk over whether the egg station should be closed after all – however, a new agreement has been reached.

With an astounding collaboration between the computer science, physics, biology, and psychology departments a new method for learning to cook eggs has been developed.

“After two hours of blaming each other and airing grievances, we finally began the project. After that it only took ten minutes really,” explained one faculty member.

In order to cook at the station, students must now complete a three-week short course in egg preparation and cooking. The course will provide students with fundamental skills they will need both at Grinnell and beyond, as well as provide the opportunity for a much-needed discourse over the best methods of cooking eggs.

Students will learn what an egg is, what a frying pan is, and how to turn a burner on and off. Additionally, the course will cover the most basic types of eggs, including scrambled and fried. For more complex dishes, such as omelets, or scrambled eggs with mix-in toppings, students may take another short course designed for advanced egg cookers.

“I’m super excited for this class,” one student declared, “even though I know there’s a waitlist and I may not get in – but what an opportunity!”

Dining hall staff and short course instructors will work closely together to ensure the best egg education possible. “After all,” one instructor asked, “if you can’t cook an egg, what can you do?”