Drilling rig slated for mac field
MAC FIELD– Students wondering why there is still a fence around Mac Field after two weeks of it looking like completely normal grass got an answer this Tuesday, when the administration announced its bold new plan for the space: oil drilling in partnership with the Poweshiek Petroleum Corporation, PPC.
“We’ve been having a long conversation about the future of green energy here at Grinnell,” said spokesperson David Woods, “and if you ignore everything that has been said then it’s clear that this is the logical next step. We firmly believe that there is strong evidence somewhere that Mac field sits on top of a natural oil deposit, and it is simply in Grinnell’s best interest that we use all of Mac’s resources to their full extent. For example, we’ve realized we can reuse the same fence from the last project for the oil rigging site. That’s recycling! It’s like fate really.”
Wood’s statement went on to say that “students shouldn’t notice any significant differences” from the drilling and encouraged them to think of it as “just another construction site.
“Look, I think we all enjoyed Mac’s brief period of looking like a normal grassy field, but that was never meant to last.”
“It’s time for Mac to return to its natural state: a giant dirt pit full of machinery. Drilling is a wonderful way to restore the field, while also adding to our endowment in a totally new way that we have certainly never tried before!”
Student response to the statement was mixed, with multiple hesitant concerns about noise levels on weekends and the long-term viability of all of north campus continuing to use the same path around the field.
“It’s just that all the traffic has started wearing a dirt path around the edge of the fence,” said Nathan Forje ’21, a Norris resident. “And I really didn’t mind at first, but now when it rains it turns the entire area into muddy sludge. I was looking forward to being able to avoid it by cutting across the field. What am I supposed to do now? Use the covered walkway? Not gonna happen.”
Environmental studies major Megan Werner also objected to the project on the grounds of the “extreme negative environmental effects,” and the evilness of the PPC. Megan has set up an informational booth protesting the project in the JRC for the lunch crowd to ignore.
When asked about the project’s hazards spokesperson Woods said “I won’t deny there have been a few hiccups here and there, there always will be with this kind of thing, but you need to keep in mind that most of the stories are baseless fear-mongering.
“For example, I can state with complete confidence that we absolutely did not spill oil into Bucksbuam’s water main. That was not something we did. We value the facilities used by our staff and students far too highly for that. The sudden death of Bucksbaum’s surrounding vegetation is the result of normal seasonal changes and absolutely not due to oil pollution. We know what we’re doing.”
The administration plans to start initial drilling over fall break, in the hopes that students won’t be on campus when the rig goes up and will be too busy the rest of the semester to notice.