SHACS Hires Tele-Psychic

SHACS – Recently, Grinnell has become aware of a sizeable population of students that feel spiritually disconnected from the community. To solve this problem, SHACS has established a new connection with the University of Iowa – students can now communicate with a tele-psychic. “Yeah,” one Grinnell student said, “there just really didn’t seem to be someone on campus I could talk to about my connections with the spirit world. I think this new tele-psychic person will be really useful and will quickly become a much-used resource.”

This new tele-psychic, Martha Rivers, holds several degrees in her field and has many years of experience working with a wide range of the underworld. She graduated with honors in Astrology from the Northern Iowa, then earned a PhD in the supernatural arts from the University of Iowa.

Rivers has worked in schools, hospitals, clinics, séances, and graveyards across the country. Rivers’ skills range from helping individuals reached deceased loved ones, to helping young people realize their gifts and reach their full psychic potential in the spirit realm, to foretelling the exact date of the apocalypse. Rivers is extremely well-known in her field and is spoken of highly by both the living, dead, and most animals.

The services Rivers provides are considered invaluable for Grinnell students. When asked about the recent hire, a SHACS representative stated that “We really believe this could be good for the community – both as a means to relieve stress through knowing exactly what will happen in the future and to increase campus diversity.

Rivers’ services, like many other SHACS services, will be covered by Grinnell College but still somehow wildly inaccessible. Students will be able to set up video conferences with Rivers at SHACS, where nurses and counselors will be present to provide medical assistance to any students who enter trances or become possessed. Starting October 1st, Rivers’ services will be available for any student who chooses to utilize them, and can deal with the wrath of SHACS.

The representative also pointed to Rivers’ own excitement about the partnership and working with students at Grinnell as a reason he believes this was a good decision. Rivers looks forward to the opportunity to meet students this fall and “can’t wait to engage with such an incredibly passionate and intelligent community who is the source of so many of the dark psychic disturbances I’ve sensed from several states away.”