Norwegian Art Show Colonizes Faulconer

FAULCONER GALLERY – Federal mandates released late last week require Grinnell College to transition the newly opened exhibition En Voyage: Hybridity and Vodou in Haitian Art to a new, Washington approved show titled Norway: Art from Norway. The current exhibition is an impressive showcase of Haitian traditions and cultural heritage, a comprehensive and rich history of the Haitian American experience explored through artistic expression. Its replacement, however, is said to feature Martin Olsen’s Dog Whistles, which consists of large sculptures of functional dog whistles that visitors or dogs can use, but only a select few will be able to hear and understand.

The new exhibit is confirmed to contain a collection of still photos from the popular Disney film Frozen, which is set in a fictitious version of Norway, in tandem with a full portfolio of sharpie sketches of dogs by Andrew Larson, an accountant currently living in the Chicago area. His grandparents were born in Sandefjord, Norway and immigrated to the United States in 1922. Mr. Larson was more than enthusiastic to discuss his upcoming show: “What? In Iowa? This is the first I’ve heard. Government mandated - what does that even mean? Why am I replacing Haitian art? That makes no sense. I’m not even an artist. How’d they even get my sketches of dogs? Those were made in private.”

It is unclear how the government acquired this man’s dog pictures or what policy goals are attained by favoring the display of Norwegian art over Haitian works. Grinnellians are just as confused. Adama Ode ’21, who was at the opening of the new show, had this to say: This seems like a pretty clear-cut issue of discrimination to me. The show’s great and I can’t think of any reason to take it down. There’s literally been no point since American was founded where we’ve looked back at the government prioritizing art from one country over another as a good thing. Irish art, Japanese art, Jewish art, refugee art, it always looks bad for America, and never ends well for anyone. I thought we were done with this stuff.”

A senior government official who wishes to remain anonymous promised that “it’s totally not a race thing, not at all. Fake news. No real American thinks that, just the liberal media elites trying to lie to you, very unfair. They’re the real enemy of the American people, you know. I love Norwegian art just as much as beautiful American art. It’s not a race thing, believe me. Is Norway really a predominantly white country? I had no idea. Now I’ve got more important things to do, like draft bills for extreme vetting of refugees and restricting immigration of non-European migrants.”

Unprompted, he continued: “Why do you even care about Haitian art in the first place? The whole country is a shithole anyways. Their art can’t be that good. You’re not publishing that last part, right? Actually, no, go ahead and publish it, nobody’ll care either way and everyone will forget about it by Tuesday.”

The official had no further comment when pressed further about why dismantling an art show in a private Iowa college gallery demanded immediate action of the federal government or if it was even legal. The replacement of the current exhibition is set to begin this weekend, with most of the current exhibition to be kept in detention by the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency pending approval for their return to their respective artists.