UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World

When you think about The Greatest Generation, what character qualities come to mind?  Loyalty, frugality, community spirit, honesty, a desire to win?  But this newest generation is more of a puzzle.  Many social commentators, including David Brooks in his book The Road to Character, paint an unhappy picture of a generation occupied with digital media, isolated by helicopter parents from the kind of unsupervised interaction that earlier generations enjoyed.  And for good reason - our world seems less safe for kids than we like.

But is that image of the newest generation real?  Author Michele Borba thinks so, and she believes that a generation of Selfie-kids - kids preoccupied with digital communications, less physically active, less capable in certain basic human qualities, is a wrong turn we've taken that can be re-booted.  Specifically Dr. Borba wants to see us work harder to develop certain personality characteristics that engender better human relations, empathy, and stronger more humane communities.  

Borba zones in on empathy and recommends approaches that we can use to develop and nouraish empathy, starting from birth and continuing through college and beyond.  

*  Why discipline approaches like spanking, yelling and even timeout can squelch empathy  (you're kidding, right - no timeouts?  So what was I supposed to do when my daughter picked up a princess phone and deliberately threw it at her daycare buddy?)

*  How lavish praise inflates kids' egos and keeps them locked in "Selfie" mode

*  Why reading makes kids smarter and kinder

*  How to help kids be Upstanders - not bystanders - in the face of bullying

*  Why self-control is a better predictor of wealth, health, and happiness than grades or IQ

*  Why the right mix of structured extracurricular activities and free play is key to teaching collaboration

*  How to ignite a Kindness Revolution in your kids and community.

If you've begun to feel that something precious is missing in our kids, you might find Borba's recommendations a useful beginning to recapturing what was lost.  You will particularly like Part Two - Practicing Empathy, including how to help kids keep their cool, ways kids - and adults - (for you see, I don't think this book was intended to just be about teaching kids - there's enough ugliness and meanness in the world right now that we adults could use a little of this remedial ed); and how to help empathetic children think "us" and not "them."  

Encourage "direct contact!"  Who would have thought we needed to be reminded of the value of this basic approach but Borba advises that "empathy is best activated face-to-face," which means that not all social media campaigns work.  Her section on page 212 on "How to raise Changemakers" is one that would be well-appreciated by manufacturing leaders!