Beating the Workplace Bully, A Tactical Guide to Taking Charge, by Lynne Curry, Amacom 2016
Are you a target? Bullies are everywhere - in hospitals, at church, at the post office, the gym and even, argggg, in the next cubicle. We might try to ignore them, or escape, but as author Lynne Curry says, bullies never ever give up, and they certainly won't go away. So what's to be done? Even if you are feeling weak and wounded inside, Curry believes that there are real responses that will get your feet steady and your head clear when faced with this ultimate coward, a bully. Because that's what they all are, cowards. But they can wreak a lot of damage in their brief time here on earth.
Let's start with perspective. According to the author, nearly 66 million American adults either suffer or witness "abusive conduct" during their workday, based on a nationwide 2014 survey by the Workplace Bullying Institute. Whether exploited, intimidated, or humiliated by coworkers or their boss, three to four people out of every ten have been bullied on the job. And it happens to even the best and the brightest.
Curry outlines the targets that attract bullies. Armed with this insight, she lays out exactly how victims of bullying can defeat their tormentor.
"Bullies set a rigged game in motion, and the rest of us find ourselves playing it - and badly," Curry observes. "If you want to escape the bully's control, you need to take the bully on and change the game's rule." Use Beating the Workplace Bully as a desktop reference, a training manual for survival. Using real-world examples and quick-read checklists, the author shows targets how to avoid a bully's traps, outmaneuver their manipulator, and reclaim their dignity.
Readers will find the author's succinct recommendations and checklists accessible and easy to use, including:
* six factors that could lead you into a bully's cross-hairs, from signalling that you're a nice and easy target, to giving away your power
* seven bully warning signs to take seriously, including an individual who cuts you down and then claims she was "just kidding"
* how to quell your instinctive fear of bullies; stop being a doormat, beginning with building self-confidence; and keep bullies from gaining an outpost in your mind
* why coworkers and supervisors are often reluctant to validate and support an obvious target, and how to win allies against a notorious and powerful bully
* seven bullying types - from the angry, aggressive jerk, to the silent grenade-thrower to the wounded rhino - and what separates bullies from other difficult personalities
* how to identify your own conflict style, stay calm during a confrontation, and disarm bullies without defending yourself or attacking back.
In her chapter "How to Handle a Scorched-earth Fighter," Curry tells the terrifying story of a suit and counter-suit against a workforce bully that ended well. And she quotes three Bible passages that a client kept in mind during the ordeal: Romans 8:31 "If God is for us, who can be against us? Who can do anything to me? He is my rock"; Ephesians 6:14, "Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness"; and John 8:32, "And the truth shall set you free."