Brilliant Stress Management, How to manage stress in any situation, by Mike Clayton, Prentice Hall 2011
First of all, let me note the lovely Dedication – “To Felicity, the happy woman.” It doesn’t get much better than this!
Now, for the brilliant diagnostics and advice on our most pressing and most prevalent “ailment,” stress. As we have advised all our book development clients, start with a story and author Mike Clayton a Brit transported from London to the country, does just that. He begins with this story of King Solomon:
King Solomon, king of Israel three thousand years ago, was known for the wealth of his cities, the magnificence of his temples, and his wise rule. Finding it lonely ruling a vast kingdom, Solomon wanted some way to change his mood whenever he chose. He called to his court the finest craftsmen and wisest counselors in the land. “Make me a ring and on it engrave an inscription,” he commanded. “Put on it words that can change my mood, whatever it is – from sorry to joy, or from joy to sorrow.”
And what do you think the counselors decided upon for the inscription?
This too shall pass.
There is constant, unrelenting stress, and then there is what Clayton calls “strain.” To understand if you are living a life of the former – typical for Type A personalities (there’s even a quiz to help you find yourself in the Type A/Type B personality type scale) – take Clayton’s Stress Quiz. The results may surprise you. If your stress score is high, Clayton advises you to shut the door, turn off your phone, and read on.
Certain stress quiz questions may trigger a familiar response, number 10 for example, “People seem to take advantage of me.” For each of these sternum touching hits the author offers usable advice. Read Chapter 4 for a closer look at time management, prioritizing, but most especially, How to Say No! In one of The Mill Girl’s previous reviews she covered an author’s seminar exercise in which all attendees were forced to stand and yell “NO!” repeatedly until they were comfortable with the word! No! No! NO!!! Dynamite!
Chapter 5, Control Your Attitudes, looks at one of the puzzles that The Mill Girl believes contributes to much executive stress, the conflict between values, or what is really important to you, and how you make money. There was once a Rath & Strong consultant who was driven to live the consulting life. He was mentored by the head of his division who later became president of the firm. As his mentor rose through the ranks, he attempted to mirror his friend’s progress. We saw a few little hitches, little cracks in what should have been a complete and polished exterior. The younger consultant seemed to need lots of his own work reviewed, edited, corrected, by female staffers at his own level. He seemed to have problems understanding what other divisions did. When it came time for him to take the certification exam, even after two passes and intervention on his behalf by his mentor, he failed…. twice. With everyone constantly on the road dealing with different clients, it’s hard to compose a clear picture of just exactly wasn’t working here, but in the end, the consultant himself revealed the stresses he was under. Like the reluctant air traffic controller in the film Pushing Tin, we watched as he found himself unable to fly, unable to sit on a plane and wait for take-off. He juggled his schedule, tried medications, but in the end, he just couldn’t head dawn the steps. He ended up taking a local job.
Isn’t this extreme case a warning to all us Type A personalities that it is impossible to ignore our deepest values, what we truly want in life? Readers will find Clayton’s chapter on how to help others reduce their stress a unique contribution to the body of knowledge. Finally, the Appendix offers 101 ways to reduce your stress, from #14. Do the things you must do, to #15 Abandon the things you should do, to #16, Do more of the things you want to do. This list, including #36, Say thank you to the machines, is worth laminating and posting, even if it lives hidden inside your center office drawer!
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