Qualities of Healthy Relationships
Although relationships come in a wide variety, there are some things that we can generally agree make a relationship healthy or unhealthy. Another word for healthy can be "successful". I placed it in quotes because "successful" may mean something different for different people.
Although relationships come in a wide variety, there are some things that we can generally agree make a relationship healthy or unhealthy. Another word for healthy can be "successful". I placed it in quotes because "successful" may mean something different for different people.
This page gives some of the KEY points and considerations when it comes to keeping relationships healthy and successful. Most pages on this site just give resources and links to other articles, sites (like in the next section). This page is different...it gives a detailed text/image explanation and "lesson" that people can use to self-guide principals of healthy relationships. Scroll down for MORE!
This page gives some of the KEY points and considerations when it comes to keeping relationships healthy and successful. Most pages on this site just give resources and links to other articles, sites (like in the next section). This page is different...it gives a detailed text/image explanation and "lesson" that people can use to self-guide principals of healthy relationships. Scroll down for MORE!
Reflection Questions to consider:
Reflection Questions to consider:
1) What are your non-negotiable traits you seek in a partner?
2) How many of these non-negotiable traits do you yourself HAVE?
2) How many of the NGT's above does your current “love of your life” or best friend/close friend have?
3) Is it possible to “change” someone to fit your “needs”? If not, why do people try?
4) Why do people settle for someone that does not meet their absolute non-negotiable standards?
BUILDING THE PERFECT......
BUILDING THE PERFECT......
We all have qualities and traits that we look for in a partner. This activity can be done for a dating relationship OR close/best friend
We all have qualities and traits that we look for in a partner. This activity can be done for a dating relationship OR close/best friend
Go through the entire list and check off any item you think you want in a partner or close/best friend.
THEN, pause, walk away, take a 1 minute break and do it again. This time, "star", hi-light or circle your absolute "can't live without", "no mater what", "NON-NEGOTIABLE traits you ABSOLUTELY want in this relationship.
These traits are the things you should make sure your closest relationships always have. Don't give up on them.
FEATURED ARTICLES & websites
FEATURED ARTICLES & websites
FEATURED VIDEOS
FEATURED VIDEOS
Building the Perfect Partner (Corabi)
Building the Perfect Partner (Corabi)
The 7 things needed for any relationship to succeed (Corabi)
The 7 things needed for any relationship to succeed (Corabi)
12 signs you're in a healthy relationship (Psych2go)
12 signs you're in a healthy relationship (Psych2go)
12 signs you're in a healthy relationship (Top Think)
12 signs you're in a healthy relationship (Top Think)
Mr. Corabi's Theory on the 7 Essential Things that are needed for ANY relationship to be successful.
Mr. Corabi's Theory on the 7 Essential Things that are needed for ANY relationship to be successful.
A Relationship is like a house. We pretty much know in our head what it looks like, but in reality, they are all slightly different. Using a house shaped Graphic organizer, Mr. Corabi created a theory that says that 7 things are needed for any relationship to be successful, no matter what kind it is. This is EASILY used to explain dating partners, best friends, or family but can absolutely be applied. to a lesser extent for ALL relationships.
The 7 specific words are placed in 7 strategic places to "build" the house
The 7 specific words are placed in 7 strategic places to "build" the house
Foundation: Communication, Honesty and Friendship
Foundation: Communication, Honesty and Friendship
Communication, Honesty, & Friendship are the foundation of the house. They need to be established to build a solid foundation before the walls and roof are put on. Unfortunately, so many people try jumping to the roof without building the solid foundation. On the "Unhealthy relationship" summary
Communication, Honesty, & Friendship are the foundation of the house. They need to be established to build a solid foundation before the walls and roof are put on. Unfortunately, so many people try jumping to the roof without building the solid foundation. On the "Unhealthy relationship" summary
Why are the words placed where they are for the foundation?
Why are the words placed where they are for the foundation?
Special notes: Communication is placed in the middle on purpose because when it's paired with each of it's foundation partners, it creates a new word. To define Communication simply means to give AND receive information. UNFORTUNATELY, SO SO SO OFTEN in American Society today, people TALK way more than they listen. Of course, all communication is not verbal or textual. Non verbal communication is actually 80% of all person-person communication including hand gestures, facial expressions, body language and posture.
Special notes: Communication is placed in the middle on purpose because when it's paired with each of it's foundation partners, it creates a new word. To define Communication simply means to give AND receive information. UNFORTUNATELY, SO SO SO OFTEN in American Society today, people TALK way more than they listen. Of course, all communication is not verbal or textual. Non verbal communication is actually 80% of all person-person communication including hand gestures, facial expressions, body language and posture.
Honesty is a key to combining with communication to develop trust. Honestly, obviously, is telling the truth. It is important in relationships not to lie because a lie is like a sledgehammer to the wall of trust. However, the way you tell the truth can also change the dynamics of a relationship.
Honesty is a key to combining with communication to develop trust. Honestly, obviously, is telling the truth. It is important in relationships not to lie because a lie is like a sledgehammer to the wall of trust. However, the way you tell the truth can also change the dynamics of a relationship.
Friendship is paired with Communication to create loyalty. It is obvious that there are different types of loyalty. For those who don't know that, it can look different depending on if you're talking about just being there for someone, knowing when to speak up and when to keep secrets, supporting your friends, family, peers in a time of need and them knowing they can count on you, not cheating on a partner or spouse, or your affiliation with a particular club, group, team, or association.
Friendship is paired with Communication to create loyalty. It is obvious that there are different types of loyalty. For those who don't know that, it can look different depending on if you're talking about just being there for someone, knowing when to speak up and when to keep secrets, supporting your friends, family, peers in a time of need and them knowing they can count on you, not cheating on a partner or spouse, or your affiliation with a particular club, group, team, or association.
SPECIAL NOTE on the need for relationships & healthy social interactions AND how we are often at fault at ruining them due to creating a weak foundation
SPECIAL NOTE on the need for relationships & healthy social interactions AND how we are often at fault at ruining them due to creating a weak foundation
According to a gallop poll, 22.8% of millennials claim to have no [real] friends at all, and a full 27 percent say they have no close friends.
According to a gallop poll, 22.8% of millennials claim to have no [real] friends at all, and a full 27 percent say they have no close friends.
With the SURGE since 2010 of social media apps "friends", the ease for in-home streaming and interactive video game play and other entertainment opportunities that previously were only available by leaving someone's home, the number of LIVE, person-person, positive interactions has decreased for many Americans. All of these headlines were published in 2017 or 2018.....well before the world-wide COVID-19 Pandemic took over the United States.
With the SURGE since 2010 of social media apps "friends", the ease for in-home streaming and interactive video game play and other entertainment opportunities that previously were only available by leaving someone's home, the number of LIVE, person-person, positive interactions has decreased for many Americans. All of these headlines were published in 2017 or 2018.....well before the world-wide COVID-19 Pandemic took over the United States.
AND NONE OF THESE ARTICLES EVEN BEGIN TO TOUCH ON THE TOPICS OF POLITICAL DIVISION DRIVING THE WORLD VIEW OF MOST AMERICANS. Pick any issue no matter if it's a human rights issue, personal belief, or controversial decision and I can assure you in the United States it will turn into a political issue. No matter what it is, you will find thousands of people willing to not only comment about it on the internet but also attack any opposing view points that do not match their own. These attacks and refusal to listen not only BREAK DOWN communication that can result in education, constructive debate, compromise and real, helpful policy changes, but they also create an "us vs them" mentality that fuels bitter resentment and an instinctive reaction for self defense.
AND NONE OF THESE ARTICLES EVEN BEGIN TO TOUCH ON THE TOPICS OF POLITICAL DIVISION DRIVING THE WORLD VIEW OF MOST AMERICANS. Pick any issue no matter if it's a human rights issue, personal belief, or controversial decision and I can assure you in the United States it will turn into a political issue. No matter what it is, you will find thousands of people willing to not only comment about it on the internet but also attack any opposing view points that do not match their own. These attacks and refusal to listen not only BREAK DOWN communication that can result in education, constructive debate, compromise and real, helpful policy changes, but they also create an "us vs them" mentality that fuels bitter resentment and an instinctive reaction for self defense.
Finally, what is communicated online is very often opinion rather than data driven facts. Even when data is used, it's used to purposely support one side of an argument and persuade others to "turn to their side". Furthermore, some data is absolutely untrue; explained and reported based on surveys (of opinions), or estimates rather than actual results and data that is factual and correct is often reported as absolute when it some cases, it is data to support a theory or guess reported as fact.
Finally, what is communicated online is very often opinion rather than data driven facts. Even when data is used, it's used to purposely support one side of an argument and persuade others to "turn to their side". Furthermore, some data is absolutely untrue; explained and reported based on surveys (of opinions), or estimates rather than actual results and data that is factual and correct is often reported as absolute when it some cases, it is data to support a theory or guess reported as fact.
It is these very common, typical, attacks at the "foundation" of all relationships (friendship, communication, honesty) that DISABLES and ELIMINATES a relationship from being built OR if they are built, built on a weak, shaky foundation.
It is these very common, typical, attacks at the "foundation" of all relationships (friendship, communication, honesty) that DISABLES and ELIMINATES a relationship from being built OR if they are built, built on a weak, shaky foundation.
Each person reading this should make it a point to do what they can to help individual contribute to the development of all of their relationships. Those who don't, are really thinking only about their own wants and desires and not their partners, friends, family, peers, associates and other relationships.
Each person reading this should make it a point to do what they can to help individual contribute to the development of all of their relationships. Those who don't, are really thinking only about their own wants and desires and not their partners, friends, family, peers, associates and other relationships.
Walls: Trust and Loyalty
Walls: Trust and Loyalty
Our Walls are Trust and Loyalty. They are similar words but mean slightly different things. Trust comes from Honesty and Communication and Loyalty comes from Communication and Friendship. These walls need to be rock solid brick walls, not "hay or sticks".
Our Walls are Trust and Loyalty. They are similar words but mean slightly different things. Trust comes from Honesty and Communication and Loyalty comes from Communication and Friendship. These walls need to be rock solid brick walls, not "hay or sticks".
The Roof: Love and Respect
The Roof: Love and Respect
The Roof is composed of Love and Respect. Notice, in this model, Respect and Love is built up to or earned. There is a big explanation on the Unhealthy Relationships page about love and how many people confuse love with infatuation or obsession. For detailed explanation of Love, please take the time to read Mr. Corabi's "Different Kinds of Love" handout HERE. You may also want to review this article or a similar one explaining the 5 love languages?
The Roof is composed of Love and Respect. Notice, in this model, Respect and Love is built up to or earned. There is a big explanation on the Unhealthy Relationships page about love and how many people confuse love with infatuation or obsession. For detailed explanation of Love, please take the time to read Mr. Corabi's "Different Kinds of Love" handout HERE. You may also want to review this article or a similar one explaining the 5 love languages?
In terms of respect, consider this: do we respect people because they respect us OR do we respect people SO that they respect us. Your answer will go a long way to explaining your views toward your role in successful relationships.
In terms of respect, consider this: do we respect people because they respect us OR do we respect people SO that they respect us. Your answer will go a long way to explaining your views toward your role in successful relationships.
In addition, Love is something you build up to..it doesn't happen immediately. It's not to say that "new love" can't be fun but it's not the same as real love with your partner, friends, best friends, family or for that matter, any relationship. For a detailed explanation on how some people "love too fast", check out the unhealthy relationships page.
In addition, Love is something you build up to..it doesn't happen immediately. It's not to say that "new love" can't be fun but it's not the same as real love with your partner, friends, best friends, family or for that matter, any relationship. For a detailed explanation on how some people "love too fast", check out the unhealthy relationships page.
What else?
What else?
Go back to your "perfect partner" non-negotiables and determine if there is any thing else you NEED to be part of a relationship? Is it a particular view point on a major issue? Is it a particular belief? Is it a particular trait? Is it a specific word such as security, safety, honor, ethical..... add your non-negotiables to your "house". Whered do they go? Do they build another wall? Perhaps they only make a wall thicker? Maybe it's another word for the roof? Maybe it's an extension to the house (such as a garage or shed)..not as important to the original 7 things but you really think you need anyway? OR, maybe it's a foundation word? Does it go with the other 3 words equally important OR does it get placed under the 3 words as a total 100% starting point for you?
Go back to your "perfect partner" non-negotiables and determine if there is any thing else you NEED to be part of a relationship? Is it a particular view point on a major issue? Is it a particular belief? Is it a particular trait? Is it a specific word such as security, safety, honor, ethical..... add your non-negotiables to your "house". Whered do they go? Do they build another wall? Perhaps they only make a wall thicker? Maybe it's another word for the roof? Maybe it's an extension to the house (such as a garage or shed)..not as important to the original 7 things but you really think you need anyway? OR, maybe it's a foundation word? Does it go with the other 3 words equally important OR does it get placed under the 3 words as a total 100% starting point for you?
Without taking any stance: there are typically 2 items that absolutely bring people together or separate them in terms of relationships; Political affiliations and Religious Beliefs. No two areas of philosophical principals can bring people together or separate them more. These MAY for you, be something you want to consider in terms of non-negotiable additions for close relationships but at the same time, your reaction to people with differences (patience, tolerance, wisdom) may very well be the words or traits you decide to add
Without taking any stance: there are typically 2 items that absolutely bring people together or separate them in terms of relationships; Political affiliations and Religious Beliefs. No two areas of philosophical principals can bring people together or separate them more. These MAY for you, be something you want to consider in terms of non-negotiable additions for close relationships but at the same time, your reaction to people with differences (patience, tolerance, wisdom) may very well be the words or traits you decide to add
Remember: a relationship is like a house
Remember: a relationship is like a house
A house is built from the ground up. You can't put on the roof until you have walls and you can't build walls until you have a solid foundation. Otherwise, it will not stay standing.
A house is built from the ground up. You can't put on the roof until you have walls and you can't build walls until you have a solid foundation. Otherwise, it will not stay standing.
Furthermore, you have to build it from the inside out...you can't put on nice siding or paint the outside, and make it look good, without making sure the inside is taken care of.....but so many people try to.
Furthermore, you have to build it from the inside out...you can't put on nice siding or paint the outside, and make it look good, without making sure the inside is taken care of.....but so many people try to.