Sexual Decision-Making
Sexual Decision-Making is more than Yes or No
On the Consent & the Law page, it is stated that a clear & voluntary YES needs to be given verbally or by mutual actions to engage in sexual activity. (If you are viewing this page before Consent, you may want to go visit that page now)
Many people, young and old alike, think that the only sexual decision that a teen needs to make is "Should you do it or not". That IS, obviously, the most obvious, common and talked about decision. In fact, there is a brainstorming activity in class we do answering that very question and there are always great answers (some serious, some humorous).
submitted by students in spring 2020
However, there are many more factors and in some cases, questions, that people need to consider when making the decision to be sexually active or not. Again, the most common question is whether or not to be sexually active at all (to do it or not) but the most important questions and the questions that should guide your decision on if you are going to be sexually active or not are
What role do I want sex to play in my life?
and
Who am I or who am I going to be as a sexual being?
which can also be translated to how am I going to express myself sexually
and these questions are much more prevalent today than in past generations. Statistically speaking, less young people are having sex in the most recent YRBS than in the 90's and early 2000's and the average age of "first time" is increasing. But today's young people (beginning in 5th-6th grade) are faced with these questions on almost a daily basis through media, social media/internet, peers, and the hypersexual entertainment industry.
However, there are a TON of additional questions that people should ask other than the "big 3"....click to expand text
Some more specific questions, and this is not an all-inclusive list, are:
Who is it going to be with? someone special? Future spouse? random person? friend with benefits?
Am I ready? When is the right time for me? Am I going to wait? When am I going to be ready? ( This could be your first time altogether or first time with a specific partner)?
What does "wait" mean to me (until I find the right partner, until I'm older, Until I get out of school, until I'm in a serious relationship, until I'm married, Until Tuesday at 3:47pm? )
What are my personal boundaries (how far am I willing to go or what am I willing to try)?
Am I going to have casual sex or is it only going to be while in relationships? (role)
Is sex the starting point to say I'm in a relationship or is it something that you build up to while in a relationship?
Is sex a "special" act involving love and emotions OR is it only for physical pleasure and "no big deal"? Can it be both? (this is not condoning 1 side...just a neutral question)
Am I going to have sex with multiple partners or with only 1? This includes promiscuous individuals, polyamorous relationships and "group" sexual activity with 3 or more partners (again...not advocating for it.. just being real)
What is my sexual orientation or what type of "parts" will my partners have or Do I care
Am I even interested in participating in sexual activity right now at all?
What is your partner's s status? (STI's, HIV?)
When should I get tested for Sexually Transmitted Infections?
Should I use contraception? What kind of Contraception is right for me (us)?
Am I ready for the outcomes associated with the sexual activity I'm choosing? (physical, social, emotional)
It's your decision.....
NOBODY CAN ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS BUT YOU! BUT.............
There are many factors that shape the answers to the questions about sex you ask yourself but overall, it comes down to your personal influences, worldview, values, beliefs
Some of the decisions can be mutually decided with your partner(s) and SHOULD be discussed BEFORE any sexual activity. There are certainly rules and laws concerning sex and each state has their own.
Go to the unit overview page or the consent & laws page to see some. In addition, your parents have taught you, influenced you, and have probably, given you expectations or rules in order to protect you. But ultimately, it is your decision.
But many, are individual decisions. MOST students, statistically speaking, get their primary information concerning sexual decision-making...aka their personal answer the big question "what role do you want sex to playing your life, from peers and then the community/environments they live in (neighborhood, schools, home life)
It is the advice of this teacher that a teen considers most if not all of the questions listed above in the expand text area- PRIOR to being sexually active so that the phrases "It just happened" or "one thing led to another" never happen.
That said, who/where can you get help in making the decision? You should of course use self-reflection, research, and education but also candid conversations with your parents as mentioned but who else? where else? ---> Mentors, medical and health professionals, other trusted adults, Religious teachings, your friends, and of course, your partner(s) to help figure out the answers to your sexual decision-making.
Featured Resources
Common High School Teen Sexual Practices (screen shot from a long research article). Use this link to compare to the Youth risk Behavior Study results on the Unit Page
All Falls Down (Scenarios USA)
Real Talk About Losing Your Virginity (wellcast)
Millennial Males discuss "hook up culture" (ABC NEWS, GMA 2017)
Millennial Females discuss hooking up (ABC NEWS, GMA 2017)
Statistics about sexual activity
There are a lot of reasons why teens have sex for the first time OR overall, become or continue to be sexually active.
In summary,
Since 1991, the number of high school age young people who are sexually active in both Philadelphia and the United States has reportedly gone down. Generally speaking, the older a student is, the more likely they will be sexually active though even numbers in the 11th and 12th grade are lower and less often than their 90's and early 2000s counterparts.
The average age for "sexual intercourse" has increased as well. As of 2019, the average age for females is 16.6 and the average age for males is 17. This is much higher than in previous decades where the average age for Females was 14-15 and the average age for males was 15-16. IN PHILADELPHIA- BOYS tend to have sex prior to age 13 at a greater rate (YRBS).
However, more young people tend to be active with oral sex than with vaginal or anal sex. In fact, between 57% and 70% of high school students nationwide report participating in oral sex at least once within the last 90 days prior to being surveyed.
Finally, of those who were sexually active, a surprising 90% of high school students said looking back, they weren't really ready for their first voluntarily sexual experience.
This Unit is a comprehensive although not all inclusive Unit on various topics in Human Sexuality (listed in the drop down navigation menu) that could be developed into a full course. Content in the Unit ranges from GRADES 5-12 but OBVIOUSLY some of the content is NOT for all grades. For a Top 10 list of reasons to include a comprehensive program for sexuality / Sexual Health education rather than just Abstinence only Education, please CLICK HERE.
ALTHOUGH ALL EDUCATIONAL, STUDENTS NOT ENROLLED IN MR. CORABI'S HEALTH CLASS OR HEALTH CLASS AT THE ARTS ACADEMY AT BENJAMIN RUSH, SHOULD GET THEIR PARENT'S PERMISSION BEFORE OPENING ANY LINKS OR DOWNLOADING ANY HANDOUTS. Other Teachers choosing to use information in this unit should use their discretion based on District Level, Community Level and School Level curriculum guidelines and policies.
It is assumed that students assigned to Mr. Corabi's class or Health Class at the Arts Academy at Benjamin Rush have their parent's permission based on weekly communication via google classroom posts, email or letters given to students for parents/guardians. Note: A child can consent on their own for Sexual Health Education and testing at age 14 in Philadelphia, PA.
Some lessons are required by the School District of Philadelphia via adoption of a program created by the CDC called "3R's".
This link will show you the information at the top of the page once you click on it