In recent times there has been a lot of agitation against romantic love.
The simple fact is that most people will want to have families and children, and it is best that this be done within the framework of the relationships in which people love one another than one in which they do not.
I am reminded of Winston Churchill: “Democracy is the worst form of government in the world except all others.” With love we see the same thing. Love matches can go wrong – sometimes badly wrong – but so can arranged marriages. It does not mean that they are bad.
One thing that’s special about romantic love is that it combines the physical and the spiritual. The passion is of both body and soul. The result is a much richer experience of life. And another thing that’s special about romantic love is that it gives people ability to choose their partners, thus affirming their liberty and self-sovereignty.
That love relationships can go wrong, everyone knows. But arranged marriages can go very wrong as well. In India, 40,000 women a year die from domestic violence. To these women, being able to choose their partner is a dream. The people in the West who have a negative view of romantic love should observe the situation in India before they appreciate what they have in their home country. Arranged marriages is the alternative to romantic love; and it is not a better alternative.
One claim I keep hearing is that romantic love is irrational. I have known scientists and military personnel who started their matches with love at first sight and were still going strong in their 90s. These people are rational enough; in fact they are more rational than the people who militate against love. They are strong both of heart and of mind, and we stand to learn from them.
So that while romantic love can very well go wrong, it does not mean that it is bad. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t. There can be any number of reasons for both. Problems happen in love-based situations; problems also happen in non-love-based situations such as arranged marriages. In affirming romantic love, one affirms liberty and self-sovereignty. And that is a noble state of affairs toward which it is worthwhile to strive.