I knew a man who badly beat up his woman. Someone said that that was his nature, and that that is what he was going to continue to do.
No, this is wrong. He is a human being. He has capacity for choice. Choice trumps nature. It may be in my nature to rape or to steal, but I choose not to do such things.
I have made many choices. Some were congruent with my nature and some were not. It is not in my nature to be compassionate, but I’ve learned compassion. It is not in my nature to be humble, but I learned humility. It is in my nature to be preachy, and I have been doing that as well.
So we have people claiming that sociopaths and narcissists are bad and can only be bad. This is wrong. Anything capable of choice is capable of right choice. Anything capable of right choice can be good. This is as much the case with sociopaths and narcissists as it is with people who were demonized in days prior, such as the Gypsies and the Jews.
We see the same with people in women’s movements claiming that men are bad and with people in father’s movement claiming that women are bad. Both are wrong. Anything capable of choice, regardless of gender, can be good or bad. Whatever your nature happens to be, you have choice. And with choice comes the capacity for rightful action.
The real way to treat disorders such as sociopathic and narcissistic is to provide a functional ethical structure. Then people will do the right thing, whatever their neurology or psychology happens to be. Once again, choice trumps nature. However bad someone’s nature may be, it is still in his power to act rightfully.
If you are dissatisfied with the way you are: There is hope. It comes down to one concept: choice. Hold yourself to a high standard of conduct. Demand of yourself rightful behavior and rightful thought. And see yourself becoming a better person, however badly you started out.