I once had a counsellor who was telling me that I needed to take responsibility for my life. What she meant was that I needed to plan my life. I found out that that course of action is wrong.
The reason is as follows. Life is smarter than I am. If I am planning my life, I am projecting upon life an incomplete understanding while failing to avail myself of life and the wisdom that is in it. And that is a stupid way to live.
The best things in my life were unplanned. The most constructive course of action that I have been on has been translating Russian poetry. I did not plan that; I lucked into it. The best thing that ever happened to me was my daughter. She, too, was unplanned. If I had planned my life, neither one of these things would have happened, and I would have been a slave to a choice that I made when I was a child.
Rather than having goals, it works a lot better to let your goals find you. It doesn’t mean that you don’t work hard at them; you do. But instead of projecting upon life an incomplete understanding, you open yourself to wisdom that is greater than your own. And that leads to a much more complete life.
Problems come from all sorts of unexpected places. So do opportunities. Being open to life is being open to a wisdom greater than yours. Instead of planning your life since you were a child, it works a lot better to let life direct you. And then you are open to a greater and fuller experience of life.