I had a girlfriend named Layo who wrote, “Why do so many marriages break up? Because people are stupid assholes and they annoy each other.” That drew a lot of laughs.
On a more serious note, I heard a sociology professor give a more informed explanation for this. He said that many relationships now break up because the expectations are too high. You have to be many different things and in many different purposes. You have to be a provider, a partner, a parent, a friend, a companion, a counsellor, a sex partner, a cook, a cleaner, a comforter, an entertainer, a priest, a therapist and any number of other things. In this climate most marital situations will flounder. Which will lead – and has lead – many to claim that love is a bad thing.
Probably the worst hostility I’ve seen has been between people and their former relationship partners. I took a different route. When my wife left me I didn’t threaten to kill her or try to take away the child. I maintained a respectful relationship with her and been co-operative as a parent to our daughter. What we have is the proof that marital separation does not have to mean becoming enemies. There are any number of reasons why relationships will have problems. How they are addressed bespeaks the partners’ character. The more such things are understood, the greater is mutual understanding, the better the relationship becomes, whether or not the parties remain together.
Why do so many marriages break up? Because it is too big a job to be done by one person. It takes a number of different people to fulfil all these tasks. Of course when that happens we see a number of other problems. But in all cases people break up or become terrible to each other. And that is bad for everyone.
There needs to be a way to solve these kinds of problems. Love is a wonderful thing, and I want to see it work out more frequently. I propose as the solution people unloading some of these tasks and having them fulfilled fulfilled outside of the relationship. That way the relationship will receive a much-needed lightening, and it will be likely to last longer.