I have been very disappointed with a number of people I’ve known who had academic associations. They kept accusing me of being a racist and a misogynist when I am neither.
I have maintained serious, lasting friendships with people who were black, Hindu, Asian and Australian aboriginal; and at no point did I treat them as anything less than myself. Many people think that because they don’t have racist attitudes they are enlightened and better than other people. In most cases their attitude is worthless. They aren’t actually doing anything for people of other races. Whereas I have had extensive goings-on with people from other races, and I treated them as brothers.
As for accusations of misogyny, not only am I not a misogynist but I am the opposite of a misogynist. For most part I see women as being better than men. I like seeing women succeed, and I am comfortable with women being in authority. I have translated books by three Russian woman poets into English. I have worked under woman bosses, and I supported Hilary Clinton’s bid for president. I had an equal-power relationship with my wife, and I’ve been a loving father to my daughter.
The influence after which I took the most were the Russian and French romantics. “Well isn’t that the same Russian misogyny?” Um, no. These influences came from completely different sources – sources that were each other’s enemies. This is like saying that Abraham Lincoln was manifestation of the same white American racism. These people took objection to the culture of brutality against women and championed love. To conflate them with the influence that they fought is outrageous.
Can the romantic attitudes be unfair to women? I suppose it may be unfair to expect too much of a woman. However what I have found is that good people – both men and women - expect a lot of themselves as well. If the person starts mistreating the partner should she “fall of the pedestal” then he is doing the wrong thing. Genuinely loving attitude is to keep loving the partner even if this were to happen. If you can do that, then your love is worth something.
Romantic attitudes have taken a dive in recent times, and I want to see them resurrected. I have known scientists and military people in World War II generation who started their matches with love at first sight and were still going strong when they were in their 90s. These people were far more rational and far more responsible than people who militate against love. Their experience is disproof of that attitude. And it is these people that should be setting the tone for man-woman relationships.