Once in rural Russia, a priest asked a newlywed couple how their life was. They said that everything was great, but the house was too small. So the priest told them to bring a goat into the house. After some time, he told them to take the goat out of the house. They said after this that the house was big enough.
Some things are like that. A strenuous effort will improve you while you are doing it, and you will have appreciation after that for the time that you are not putting in a strenuous effort. And if you have been given one or another kind of privilege that you do not appreciate, having that privilege taken away for a period of time will create rightful appreciation for it.
Sometimes people do not appreciate what they have. Instead they envy what others have, even though by historical and global standards they have it very well. I have been one of these people. Then I have been through different kinds of unpleasantness, and I developed appreciation for what I had had. I am reminded of a poem by Anna Akhmatova,
We thought we were beggars, we thought we had nothing at allBut then when we started to lose one thing after another,Each day becameA memorial day -And then we made songsOf great divine generosityAnd of our former riches.
So now I appreciate what I have a lot more, even if I do not have a mansion and a Mercedes.
The same is the case with other things than wealth. It can also be the case with human relationships. Sometimes having relationships is for the better, at other times it is for the worse. With anything that people want, appreciation grows if you have lost it and then found it again. If you have a partner but see her as a bad person, then the solution is to leave her. In most cases you will miss what you had had.
Right now I appreciate just about anything. That I am in comfortable quarters. That I have a good family and good friends. That I am healthy. That I have decent food. That I have known wonderful people who think well of me in return. That I have a lovely daughter. That I can have insights. That there is a power in my life that is guiding me toward better character and better choices.
Often people do not appreciate what they have, and they make themselves and others miserable that way. The correct solution is to build appreciation for such things. One way to do that is to take such things away from them and leave them without them. Then, once appreciation grows, return those things.
Of course there are times when what one has really is unwanted, and something quite different is wanted. If this is the case, what is unwanted can be taken away as well. Then the person will decide whether to want it and go back to it or to make do without it. In either case, taking away what is unappreciated is warranted, allowing the person to decide whether to have it and appreciate it or to make do without it altogether.
In my case, once again, I now appreciate just about everything. And that makes me much happier than I was when I had many things and acted like a brat.