It appears to be human nature for people to be hateful to wherever they get their structure and limitation. For a long time people got their structure and limitation from work as farmers; so they created a technological civilization in which they rose above these limitations. This in turn became a source of structure and limitation in itself; and there have been many people who saw that structure as the universal source of evil.
Jim Morrison got his structure and limitation from his father, so he wanted to kill his father. Eminem got his structure and limitation from his mother, and he wanted to kill his mother. There are many people on the Left who see the Western civilization and Christianity as the universal source of oppression. This stance is psychotic. There are many places besides the Western Civilization in which the situation is much worse.
So we have seen feminists claiming that the Western man was the source of evil. Some of them married men from Native American, African-American or Indian or Chinese cultures and found out how wrong they have been. I have known an American woman who married a Native American man who broke her skull so badly that she needed 40 stitches. There is a movie about an American woman who married an Iranian man only to experience from him severe brutality. That there is a source of structure and limitation for you does not mean that it is the only possible source of structure and limitation. Compared to the Muslims and any number of others, American conservative men are mild.
If you are being seen as a source of structure and limitation, the correct solution is to get out of the way. Do not paint yourself as the source of structure and limitation. Let the person learn from life. Let the person see how things are elsewhere. In most cases they will miss what they had when they were with you.
It appears that structure and limitation is an inevitable aspect of life. So if you are experiencing these things from one source, it does not mean that it is the only possible source of such things. There are many possible sources of structure and limitation. Some of them are part of the Western civilization, and some are not.
This is an error of which I have been guilty myself. Once again, I have learned to the contrary.
So we see any number of women in feminism claiming that the Western white men are the root of oppression. They then themselves created a structure that has been in many respects more cruel than what it had replaced. So now we see many men – and women – hating this structure. We see, among other things, many young women falling for the line of people such as Eminem and preferring violence by mean but sexy young men over emotional bullying by mean and unattractive older women.
Once again, it appears that structure and limitation are inevitable aspects of life. A person who rejects the structure and limitation with which he has been raised is often vulnerable to worse forms of structure and limitation. The correct solution is to recognize such a thing and to work with people whose values are more compatible with their own. In most cases they will end up missing what they had been raised with and developing appreciation for it as they deal with people who are much worse.