Having looked at domestic violence across cultures, I've come to the conclusion that conventional explanations for domestic violence (low self-esteem; personality disorders; and further on along the same line) are wrong, and that the real reason for domestic violence is beliefs that are supporting of domestic violence. Here is my effort to assist the struggle against domestic violence by debunking such beliefs.
"Women are immoral" - there are far more male murderers, thieves and rapist than there are female murderers, thieves and rapists. The convict population is vastly male.
"Women are the source of evil in the world" - which is why Hitler, Stalin, and Genghis Khan were all women, as are most of the world's most influential conmen, polluters and murderers.
"Man must be head of the family" - tyrannical home arrangements fail to adequately prepare people for democracy. Democratic family arrangements very much do.
"Man must be in charge of the woman" - in a free country everyone is meant to be in charge of themselves.
"Western civilization is owed to patriarchy" - Western civilization became the Western civilization largely through efforts of two women, Queen Mary de Medici in Italy and Queen Elizabeth I in England. The first ushered in the Italian Renaissance that ended the Dark Ages and vitalized Europe's industry, science and learning; the second took England from a feudal backwater to great global civilization. Prior to that, in the fully patriarchal Middle Ages, the white man was at the bottom of the world and could not hold up his head to Africa's Timbuktu or Persia's Baghdad Caliphate, much less the Tang China or Moghul India.
"Patriarchy is the root of prosperity" - which is why patriarchal Afghanistan and Somalia are so prosperous, and why non-patriarchal Connecticut, California, Finland and Netherlands are so poor.
"Women are emotional, men are rational" - the men who believe such things are the least rational men out there. A truly rational person realizes that everything with a brain is capable of reasoning.
"Women should put up with anything" - this incentives ugly, destructive, abusive practices on the part of the men and allows the same to continue unchecked. The only way that such be corrected is that women not have to put up with such things.
"Be mean, keep them keen" - that is not how you treat someone you love.
"Violence against women makes them stronger" - there are many ways to get strong that do not involve destructive behavior.
"Women should be silent" - this excludes from decision making the knowledge, the intelligence and the efforts of one half of humanity, predictably resulting in ruinous group think, ignorance, vast waste of potential, and vast degradation in condition of the world.
"Women should be second-class citizens" - there is no more rationality in a gender apartheid than there is in a racial one. Once again, in this situation is excluded from decision-making the knowledge and perspective of one half of humanity, resulting in ruinous group think, ignorance, vast waste of potential, and vast degradation in condition of the world.
"Man owes it to the male gender to control women" - nobody owes anything to a gender. People owe to those who have contributed to and been benefactors of humanity in all spheres of its existence, of whom as many are female as are male. And among the male benefactors, most were socially progressive and hated violence against women.
"Women are exploiters of men" - there are plenty of women who want nothing to do with men at all, but I doubt you would prefer their company.
"Women are unfaithful" - it takes two to have an affair.
"Women are sluts, bitches and whores" - I'll say such things to your sister, your grandmother and your daughter and see what you say or do in response.
"Women are evil" - women who actually are evil have nothing to do with men who believe such things and avoid them like the plague. The women who do find themselves in the lives of such men are women who are caring, compassionate, and like men enough to be with men, and are for these virtues horribly punished by the men with whom they have partnered.
The more such beliefs are challenged in society, the less there is intellectual support for domestic violence, the more people have a chance at a life that is not affected by the same.