Sage's Page
1/11/13 warm up:
1/15/13 warm up:
TISSUE ISSUE GOING GLOBAL: as we have heard in the recent months, the "tissue issue" that started in she small high school of New Vista, Boulder CO. has begun to spread globally. There are multiple registered accounts of tissue shortages and even mass disappearances all the way from New York to Moscow. Some people have been blaming it on the recent flu epidemic. "It's that dern flu thingy!" said old man Jenkins from Down Under CO.1/30/13 picture pre-write warm up:
Study finds teenagers of almost all species rebeliant: Scientists have recently discovered through a $100,000 that the "teenagers" of 85% of vertebrate species, relative to the average age of the species, are rebeliant.
2/6/13 warm up:
Student Not Coo Coo for Coco Puffs: "It is understood that not every child in the world knows about Coco Puffs, but this is an outrage!" said a surprised General Mills official when he was told that not all kids are "Coo Coo for Coco Puffs." A recent intensive study of children age 5 to 13 shows that only 85% of the age range is Coo Coo about the popular breakfast cereal.
TCAP Warm up:
TCAP Introduces Mindfulness Yoga and Mate Section:
2/20/13 Warm up:
"Student takes a bath with the water on"- The Earth Task Force creates new rewards program for "showering less." It seems like the ETF has taken saving the planet to the next level with cutting down on water use. "We noticed that people were taking just too many showers and baths. Did you know that every time you take a bath some creature in the would dies!" said ETF member Joey McMan. We also have information from and undisclosed source that the deadly chemical di-hydrogen monoxide, which is a leading chemical in all pesticides and has been found as a leading cause of death for most drown victims, has now been found to come pouring out of your shower head every time you take a shower.
2/22/13 Warm up:
Leek Voted Best News Paper at New Vista: Out of the numerous local news sources at New Vista, we are proud to announce that we have been chosen by you, to be the best News Paper on campus.
Ideas for warm ups: "advisory tries to adopt infant" "student claims to be too hipster for his shirt"
"pfouts Index" becomes the most googled term of 2013
something about telekinesis
Student learns he has telekinetic powers in science class- Junior student Tommy Gun learned in his third quarter Physics class taught my Martin, that he has Telekinetic powers. "I just didn't want to get up to move the bowling ball" said Mr. Gun when asked about when he got his new found power. According to first had sources that were at the scene Tommy was tired after a night of "safe" partying. When he was asked to move a bowling ball into position to demonstrate the law of gravity, Mr. Gun demonstrated just the opposite.
Tommy Gun was sitting in his chair with his head on the table when Martin asked him to move the bowling ball into position. Tommy exclaimed "ugg, do I have to?" and when Martin looked at him with a "you-better-do-it" look Tommy glared at the ball from across the room. Suddenly the ball floated up from the ground into the "gravity demonstration position." Everyone was shocked, even the telekinetic in question, Tommy. "I just couldn't believe it" claimed student Alison McMicky that was in the class at the time, "it's just so ironic that the lesson of the day was the LAW of gravity." More recently Tommy has been exploring his new power. He has learned how to control it and utilize it. He can now change the channel of the TV without a remote, do his chores at twice the average speed and basically "blowing peoples minds" around town. He has also signed up for the Frisbee team, and it is still under question whether using his power is officially illegal in the sport. Coach Mike is sure happy about it though. An interview with Science teacher Martin was denied and the only statement he made was that he still thought it was "just a magic trick."