Story Idea #1:
ETF finds dehydrated mucus out front, finds use as alternate energy source
This week while coming indoors from gardening, ETF(Earth Task Force) member who's name will be kept anonymous discovered something astonishing about the mucus and spit puddles commonly found in the New Vista smoker's section.
"I've never seen anything like this before," the ETF member says. "We may have found something that will power the school without the help of burning coal or even using our solar panels."
The common smoker spits--on average--10 times while smoking a single cigarette.The projectile of the spit has stored energy that becomes intensified by three times when dehydrated.
"If we can find a way to harness this form of energy, we could power the school for a year with the power of just a single smoker," says the ETF mentor.
This new form of energy the ETF is calling Smoker Loogie Power could "solve all the problems the ETF is trying to fix," says the ETF member.
ETF is now encouraging all New Vista students to pick up smoking in order to support this project. So light up a cigarette when you get outside and start spitting!
Story Idea #2
Big Brother is watching you: Mike installs cameras in the smoker section
The new smoker quivers with fear at the thought of Mike Codrey accusing them of smoking. Old smokers try to play it cool, but will always be secretly terrified by Mike. In a new study, smokers find that there are cameras installed in the smokers section. Whether they belong to Codrey or not remains to be seen, but most smokers suspect this anti-smoking teacher to be the perpetrator of this scandal.
"I feel violated," says long time smoker who's name will remain anonymous. "I should be able to smoke without fearing for my life. Mike scares the sh*t out of me."
Another smoker agrees: "Whenever Mike looks at me while I'm smoking, I can feel my lungs shrink away in fear."
The looming fear of detention hangs in the air as smokers try to figure out what to do. Will they all end up in Mike's room for lunch?
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