Bobby, (his parents requested that his last name not be given) a ninth grader attending New Vista High School in South Boulder, claimed that a Boulder County Firefighter waved him over on his way to lunch and supposedly hired him to pull the fire alarm at his school. When Bobby asked why, the firefighter (who also chose to remain anonymous) simply responded with "Because we're bored."  

Weather or not this is true, we will never know because Bobby sadly got abducted by aliens shortly after this possible event occurred. 

Boulder Mayor, Matthew Appelbaum, was called to the scene after New Vista Principle, Kirk Quitter, called the Fire department who refused to acknowledge any interaction happening with a New Vista student. Appelbaum questioned the fire chief, asking for his opinion. 

"We heard the alarm ringing and saw that it was coming from New Vista, so as usual, we got in the truck and headed over to the school. There didn't seem to be a problem, so I asked Mr Quitter what had happened and he wasn't sure."  

Authorities went to Bobby's house and tired to ask his parents a few questions, but they were unsuccessful as his parents were quite distraught after Bobby's alien abducted, which was confirmed this morning by NOAA expert, Dr. James B. Garvin 

"I am pretty sure Bobby was abducted by aliens. I personally saw a strange circular ship land in the NOAA parking lot and a small green-bluish looking creature was waving at me from the window just before taking off and Bobby was in his arms." 

Bobby's parents have threaten to sue the Boulder County Fire Department, and a court date is scheduled to be on Thursday Morning. In addition, a small service for Bobby will be held tomorrow afternoon, because scientists believe that the aliens will keep him forever. 

If you have any additional information on this story, please don't hesitate to contact us at: Aliensdon'texistandtheyneverwill@space.gov.com or you can call us at: 303 IHATEALIENS.        

Colorado Football: Buffs Win First Game in over 50 years (#2)

A dramatic event in history occurred last night after the Colorado Buffaloes (CU Buffs) won their first game in over 50 years. They defected the California Bears 41-24 in a showdown that the players will remember forever. 

Buffs quarterback, Sefo Liafau, said, "It's like I don't even care what happens for the rest of my life. We won a game and that's all I ever lived for. Now I can die in peace." Other members of the team expressed their excitement by exclaiming that they can now quit college, though most of them are seniors, and live contently, knowing that they won. 

Coach, Mike MacIntyre, was ecstatic at the win, that he suffered a heart attack and is currently recovering in the hospital. Because of this, the remainder of the season is canceled for the Buffs, but at least they ended on a winning note. 

Contact Buffzzone@rararafightfightfight.com or call us at 303 BUFFYRAWR    

CU-Boulder's MAVEN In Search of Chocolate on Mars (#3)  

The University of Colorado's MAVEN spacecraft lunched this morning after it was proven that a nugget of pure chocolate was discovered on Mars.