Andrew's Page

“Snow Dancer” to be Blamed for Blizzard

Boulder, Colorado - Boulder County police have released a statement about their Thursday morning arrest in the Freak April Blizzard case.  Jim Skibumski was arrested Thursday morning at his South Boulder residence after a witness came forward with information on the causation of the unseasonable weather.  

“An eye witness came forward with new information that we couldn’t ignore”, Deputy Paul Summer stated during the press conference held late Thursday.  

Skibumski was reportedly seen partaking in a Minnesotan “Snow Dance” Sunday evening, which is believed to be the cause of the recent storm. When questioned on the matter the witness had to say, “He was moving all funny like, waving his arms and gyrating. I have family from Minnesota, I recognised it instantly. Never known it to work though.”

Skibumski is a known member of a winter sports enthusiasts group The Snowmen.  Other members of the group are under investigation for possible involvement.

“Currently, we’re not ruling anything out”, Deputy Summer said on the matter. The Boulder Police Department is still searching for more information.

Steezy Food Review

by Chad Brough

    Yo yo, New Vista coolcats, Chad Brough here givin’ you the 411 on the dopest of your local eateries.  Me and my crew were cruisin’ through the homefront earlier this week and decided to pop into one of Boulder’s finest food establishments, Wendys.

    The overall swag level of this place is off the charts.  You walk into the place and you are instantly greeted with the sweet smell of good decisions and victory. (Editor’s note: Chad is referring to the smell of BBQ sauce and the deep fryer) Although the line can be a bit whack, the food is worth the wait.

    These fine folks have everything from gnarly burgers to rad chicken sandwiches, and don’t forget those sweet, sweet nuggets of gold.  For a side you get what is probably, like, the greatest food ever invented, french fries.  

    For those of you looking to keep a rockin’ bod for the coming months of freedom, there is a bodacious array of superfly salads.  With the warmer months approaching, it’s dank to have outdoor seating to enjoy the earthly elements.  With the sketch weather as of late, you can always settle for the indoor seats, or if your ride has enough swagger, you can cruise on through for some kitchen to car delivery.

    If a burger joint ain’t your scene, fear not, for Taco Bell is close enough that you don’t need to worry about scuffin’ your new kicks.  While Brohan Solo, Brobi Wan Kenobi, and Broba Fett scarf on some burgers, you can get your taco on.

    That all for this week of my brotastic food review.  Stay steezy my bromosapiens, Chad out.

Peers, know your socially-approved vocab:

Definition of SKETCH:  a rough drawing representing the chief features of an object or scene and often made as a preliminary study. <The artist made a sketch of their subject before creating a finished piece.>

— Sketched, sketching, sketch intransitive verb

— Sketcher noun

Reader Write-in

I’m writing in response to last weeks Chad Brough’s Food Review of the Safeway deli.  I’m a huge fan of Mr. Brough’s work and find him to be a true bro.  Ever since I discovered Chad Brough’s reviews, I have taken it upon myself to explore all of the fine establishments of which he writes.

Per the usual, I ventured to the Safeway deli shortly after Brough’s review came out.  The dank atmosphere that Brough spoke of was accurate.  You walk in and are greeted with the sweet aroma of fried goodness and glory.  Even the quality of the food was as described.  A perfect blend of succulent flavors and majestic texture fill your mouth with each bite.

I enjoyed a crushin’ combo of toasty chicken tenders, steezy mac’n’cheese, and gnarly onion rings.  The brotastic deli clerk, Glen, hooked me up mad-stat when it came to the portions.  The man is an inspiration, I’ll be asking him to be my brofessor before long.

Now to the real reason I’m writing.  I deeply saddens me to learn that Chad Brough and I had very different ideas of a “cheap meal”.  While the portions are quite bountiful, eight dollars is ridiculous for a meal.  For a bro such as myself, living off of meager funds, spending eight dollars on a meal is not conducive to my way of life.  I believe it is article #47 of the Bro Code, which states “a bro must never lie about a bargain”.  

I felt truly betrayed and am hurt to the core by the fallacies presented by Chad Brough regarding the Safeway prices.  I will still be reading the brotastic food reviews and I do consider Chad to be a bro.  I hope my words are taken to heart and Mr. Brough pick his words more wisely in the future.

Best Video Games for Life Acclimation

Student experiences Sims University Life, no longer wants to go to college:

When Tim Nerdson originally purchased his Sims 3 expansion game “University Life”, he was thrilled at the opportunity to experience college life.  He was prepared to handle the social and academic challenges of secondary education.  Little did he know the Sims was not the best source for what college is like.  

“They were all naked... All the time! How was I supposed to know that was not socially acceptable?” says Nerdson.  Streaking is apparently a fad on the virtual campus, and has taken its toll on player perceptions of reality.  The player found obstacles in his academics, not his social life, but actual obstacles.  Nerdson reports, “Streakers were always stuck in the doors, I couldn’t get to any of my lectures”.

Students credit Skyrim for wilderness survival skills:

From the realistic aspects of hunting to the unprovoked bear attacks, players report being better prepared for any situation.  For example, they no longer bite off more than they can chew.  Although there are not dragons in the northern hemisphere, students have taken to hiking straight up mountains, regardless of the intended path.

“After playing Skyrim, I feel fully capable of surviving for months in the wilderness with only a bow.  I’m just working on getting my perks up” says Jack Couchman, reported missing two weeks ago.  

Skyrim also teaches players that alchemy is not dead.  Players quickly learned to mix different herbs to make potions. One player reports, “I plan on going out to gather herbs and test them to improve my alchemy skill.  I hear juniper berries are good in health potions”.  Many Skyrim players have been admitted to the hospital for various toxins.  On a happier note, tvs are available in patient rooms.

Andrew Seebohm

5/20/2013

The Leek Online

Online Class Advice

When it comes to taking online classes, many students think it will be easy credit, but the reality is quite to contrary.  Online classes can be very hard to manage: with keeping up to date, receiving feedback, the lack of personal face to face time, as well as time management, assignments can quickly pile up.  Having been taking an online class for the past quarter, I have come up with a few helpful pointers.

Keeping Up To Date

As classes progress, incoming assignments can easily be left to the wayside.  It is very important to keep up to date by checking the web page frequently, at least every other day.  Your teacher will keep the web page up to date, so that is your best source for class information.  If you know other people in your class, it can be helpful to keep in touch with them throughout the class and share ideas on new assignments.

Feedback

When it comes to writing courses, edits and feedback on your work are necessary.  With online classes, it can sometimes take awhile to receive feedback, so you may need to take matters into your own hands.  Don’t be afraid to email your teacher, informing them that you have completed a first draft on an assignment and would like them to edit it.  Also, reminding your peers to check out your work can be very helpful.  Be sure to take the time to go and give feedback for your peers work as well, as they also need your help.

Time Management

Without having to go to class everyday, it can be easy to forget about your online classes or simply put them off.  Maintaining a functional work schedule is incredibly important for making it through your online class with minimal struggle.  In your planner, or whatever you may use, set out a solid chunk of time to work on your online class.  Make sure you know what you need to do and when you need to do it by, because if let things build up, your class can quickly go for rather manageable to your hardest class without you even realizing it.

Face to Face Time

I know for me, one of the hardest aspects of my online class was, in fact, that it was online.  I had a hard time staying focus and getting done what needed to be done without have my teacher there to support me when I needed it.  The thing it took me awhile to realize was, my teacher was there, I just needed to ask.  If at any point you begin to struggle, be sure to check in with your teacher.  You can send them an email, or simply swing by their classroom at a break, either way, be in contact with them for support whenever you need it.

Different people learn in different ways, and it is important that you figure out how you learn best in an online environment.  The sooner you know how you learn best, the better off you will be, but know that you will always have support in your learning.  Hopefully these tip can help you be more successful in online classes, regardless of how you learn.

Leek Blurbs:

Fecal Fiend: Experts say “it’s a Freudian thing” -Page C11

New Vista Frisbee team doping: Not getting the results they wanted -Page D5

Stanford University Study: “Farts are just the ghosts of the food we eat” - Page F9