Warm Up 1: Alchemy to be covered in Physics Class
New Vista recently added a new unit to the physics program: basic alchemy. This will cover circle drawing, symbol recognition, and simple transmutations such as ice into steam or separating dirt into its component parts.
Warm up 2: ETF brings Amazon Rainforest to New Vista
In an effort to stop deforestation practices, the ETF plans to shrink down the rainforest and bring it to New Vista--or so says our anonymous informant.
"[The ETF] has plans to take the rainforest here in order to protect its unique ecology," the informant explained yesterday, "I don't think the UN knows what they're planning."
Warm Up 3: Conservative Activists Discover "Gay Agenda"
Conservative activists in Texas discovered a notebook last Thursday that Christian scientists have confirmed as a Gay Agenda.
The notebook contains a calendar. Days are marked with "visit boyfriend", "gym today", and "meeting" among other gay activities. Politicians called a meeting Wednesday to discuss what should be done about the threat posed by this new discovery.
"We're worried about the implications of this discovery," (name) told us, "There's some sort of code here, but we've made no progress cracking it. It's just too well made."
During the meeting, a member made the suggestion that the agenda was not coded. He removed himself from the meeting after receiving ten minutes of rebuttal from his colleagues on why the agenda could not be innocent.
"We suspect that, within this agenda's code, we will find conclusive proof of the planned strike against our government and proper moral values by the homosexuals. It's only a matter of time before our code breakers find the hidden meaning within," Claimed board executive (name here) after the meeting adjourned Wednesday afternoon.
The Leek asked one of the A second meeting code breakers hired by the activist group what he thought of the situation:
"It's all so stupid. This is just a calendar, same as anyone else's calendar or day planner. The only thing different is that the word 'boyfriend' is used. Whatever, I don't care, they're paying me $200 an hour to do this."
A second meeting is planned for next Thursday to address this issue further, but no leads on the significance of the agenda has yet been found.