Sage's Leek

First Day Questions

Describe yourself as a writer; consider the following questions:

What are your strengths and weaknesses?

My strengths are probably spelling and grammar which I've always been pretty ok with. As for weaknesses, I sometimes string sentences together strangely and would like to expand my vocabulary.

What types of writing do you most enjoy?

I like short fiction, mystery, poems, and anything classic really. I'll pretty much read anything as long as it doesn't bore me to death.

What do teachers say about your writing?

Most teachers enjoy it and tell me I'm doing well while Kim says I'm not trying as hard as I could be.

What do you know about satire? What are your thoughts about boundaries and humor--esp. in a public school?

I think satire is when you're making fun of a person using valid points. I think it's a good way to do so. As long as you're not purposefully victimizing someone for their appearance, beliefs, gender, or orientation I think it's fine to make fun of people and those who go to a public school should definitely get used to it.

What makes you laugh?

Little kids can be funny sometimes. I like really blatant humor or sometimes twisted humor. I also like when someone proves somebody else wrong in a funny way, that's pretty great.

To what extent do you follow current events? In what areas? How do you follow?

I don't always feel like I'm up to date on what I know. I mainly just hear about big things such as when a president gets elected, something ridiculous the president is proposing, news about what bands are touring and what new albums are out. I mainly hear my news by word of mouth but occasionally I'll pick up a newspaper or magazine. I also listen to the radio a fair amount.

What are your goals for this class?

I plan to enhance my writing and get credit to get out of this hell hole they call high school.

Warm Up

"Tissue Issues at school!"

A handful of students aligned in front of Cheryl's desk Thursday morning to complain about the recent lack of tissues. Through their tears and snot students wailed, "How could you, our beloved coordinator, not coordinate the tissues!" One student was taken away on the spot for bursting into hysterics. Cheryl has taken note of their desperation and plans to purchase more tissues soon.

Finished Articles 

http://www.dailycamera.com/news/boulder/ci_22386872/boulder-police-suspect-truck-theft-caught-film-by 

This is interesting because it seems that it would be obvious who had access to the truck, and also since the truck has been recovered, I don't see why they couldn't test it for DNA samples.

http://www.dailycamera.com/boulder-county-news/ci_22362223/9-year-old-girl-found-dead-superior-home

I think it's strange that they would post somebody's death without any details at all, just to let the public know somebody else has died. This happens everyday, why is it in the news?

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/911-error-preceded-woman-death-article-1.1241735

It's interesting that a death can be blamed on the 911 operator for a simple mistake. I wonder how often this happens.

Ideas

"Car tormentor on the loose at New Vista"

Don't dare leave your car unattended in front of New Vista High. An anonymous couple of students have taken it upon themselves to sit, stand and jump on the hood of a nice new vehicle parked outside. "I can't believe somebody would destroy my precious," babbled Joe, the owner of the car, through his tears. Further information to be announced.

"Entry bell left unattended; student gets frostbite!"

On a cold morning of about 7:30am, a student who prefers to remain unnamed was desperately ringing the bell to be admitted to the school only to find to his dismay, there was nobody on the other side of the glass to press the button! After 30 minutes of pounding on the button, the students nervous system began to shut down and later was diagnosed with frostbite to the face due to the weather conditions of -8 degrees.

Finished Articles

http://www.csmonitor.com/The-Culture/Latest-News-Wires/2013/0124/Oscars-2013-Is-Hollywood-ready-for-gender-neutral-awards

I thought it was interesting that it mentioned in here that the Pentagon lifted a ban on women in combat, as I didn't know there was one. This also brings up a good point as to whether or not gender should matter in an award ceremony.

http://www.cnn.com/video/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+rss%2Fcnn_topstories+%28RSS%3A+Top+Stories%29#/video/us/2013/01/24/tsr-ganim-notre-dame-assault-claim.cnn

This video was ridiculous because this college decided to protect its football community rather than admit that a player had raped a girl. They covered up a bunch of stories just to protect a sports team which I thought was really crazy.

News in Brief

(400 words)

New Doorknobs Cause Panic at New Vista

As Anissa went for the door handle to let herself into her classroom, she let out a nasty shriek and screamed, “WHY IS THE DOORKNOB SO SHINY?! Kim, what has been going on around here?” There were a couple snickers behind her but when she turned to look, nobody was to be seen. It looked as though there was oil or some similar substance on the doorknob. When our trust janitor Joe was interviewed, here’s what he had to say: “Well, Kirk was demanding new doorknobs. I have no idea what makes him dislike the old ones, but as the captain wants, the captain receives! It’s not my decision!” Anissa has been angry about the new door handles and has started a movement to regain the old ones. Many students have joined and she is hoping to see more.

The Leek has nothing to say about Ed

The students of New Vista cannot deny seeing the shiny bald head in the hallways and maybe even saying hello, but is there anything interesting about this mathematician? When Ed was asked about his most infamous New Vista scandals, he answered with a delayed, “Uhh… nothing, really.” When Ivette and Kirk were asked about this, they couldn’t seem to identify anything unusual about Ed. He is to be seen lumbering the hallways and sometimes teaching math classes. On his free time, it has been reported that Ed has been seen at Ben and Jerry’s eating a rocky road cone.

Marco Eaten by a Lion

On the 26th of January, our beloved literature and history teacher, Marco was out in the Amazon. At about 4pm, his assistant called New Vista in a hurry to explain an emergency. While Marco had been out enjoying the afternoon, lazing in the grass in the amazon, a hungry lion had come along. Now, Marco may act like he’s prepared for anything but in this situation, he had no idea what to do. The lion ate him in three bites, leaving nothing but his sandals. New Vista is holding a memorial service for the lost teacher as well as trying to find a replacement teacher.

Mike forgets to wipe emotional feet at the door

Right before class time on Thursday, kids were lining up at Mike Codrey’s door waiting to be let in to learn. When all the students were sitting in their desks, Mike came in and forgot to wipe his emotional feet at the door. As he stood in front of the class, tears were seen brimming in his eyes by the front row students. He then went on a 30 minute rant about how the policeman who stopped him this morning was inequitable because he thought Mike’s ID looked like a suspicious terrorist picture. Mike was asked to leave the room and return when he had regained his composure.