Warm up # 1
Team of Teachers Assigned to Patrol Hallways for Wandering Students
Recently to deal with the very prominent issue of hallway wandering, our administrators have put together a team to monitor hallway activity and make sure that no one is "screwing around" during class. Although this plan seemed like a good idea at the time, it appears that the team has fallen victim to the very problem it was there to prevent, hallway wondering. After no more than twenty minutes of patrolling the school, the team realized that there were no students in sight. Without any students to scold the team was left to walk aimlessly around campus looking for something to occupy their time.
Warm up # 2
Students caught creating fake advisory for the last two years
Last week a the prom commitee migrated to each adivorsy making anouncements about the upcoming prom. As they neared the end of the advisory rasta, they discovered that there was one ore advisory left to visit; Sophie's advisory. The comittee arived at the classroom only to find that there was no staff member named Sophie. The "advisies" were sitting around watching Fight Club and drinking mate, as they had been doing everyday for two years since the time when they added 'Sophie's' name to the advisory rasta.
Warm up # 3
Principal Kirk: I Can't Order BVSD to Behave
In response to students outrage caused by the lack of snow days in the past couple of weeks, Kirk have responded by denouncing all connections to the SnowDay Commitee. "The students seem to think that I am involved in the decision making process." Kirk explains "I get so much hate and disrespect every time it snows and I don't let kids out of school. I cAnnot issue a new vista wide snow dAy, nor can I force bvsd to give us one."
Warm up # 4
New vista requests unlimited sports funding; 38th times the charm
Warm up #5
New vista chef disappears after no lunch on teacher appreciation day
A new vista cafeteria staff member has recently gone missing after disappointment from the lack of lunch on teacher appreciation day. Many students were distraught when on teacher appreciation day no lunch was served.
“I never eat anywhere besides the cafeteria and starbucks.” Says student. “I don’t eat breakfast or dinner, the only chance I get to eat is during lunch. When the cafeteria didn’t have food I didn’t have anywhere else to go so I just went to starbucks.” Explained the student. “ It was a major inconvenience”