Chris' Page

2/27 - Dont Write here

    Student writes in Do Not Write here zone and gets consequences from the TCAP lords. In the past year stories have been uncovered about the disapearence  of a New Vista Sophomore student. Our inside story has first hand accounts from his friends who saw him last before the TCAPS. They started with saying how the student was talking about conspiracy theories about how "The TCAPS were all a scam in our education system to form our education system into a mass production of industrial robots used to fuel our corrupt and money hungry corporations and government." Other reports came from students sitting next to the him in the testing room that implied that he was "drawing a masterpiece". Next thing they know is they come back from their second break and this student is gone. No where to be seen or heard from we can only make conclusions that he was writing in the do not write zone and has been taken by this mystic lords of the TCAP. Please head this warning for this years TCAP and DO NOT write in the DO NOT WRITE zone.

CONTRIBUTION:

-Charter Group - Sports Group

-TCAP Issue - Dont write here

-Issue #3- New vista graduate makes it big

-Leek News Video - Senior Mafia

2/22 - New Vista inequitable to hipsters?

                New Vista has seen a recent upbeat in their number of hipsters. These hipsters are growing everyday and they are starting to cause conflict with administration. As you all know hipsters want to be different or "unique" and start something new. Now in this age is 2013 almost everything has been done. The hipsters are starting to take their styles to the extreme. Last Wednesday during community gathering their a hipster walked down the aisles with short shorts, no shirt, 1 sock, and a hat. This public nudity spiked haste in our community and the student was quickly taken to the office. Reports say the student was charged with indecent exposure. These incidents have been happening more and more often. What more will we be exposed too? How extreme will these hipsters go? Tune into next episode to get the most recent updates on the hipster breakout.

2/20 - New Vista has a Senior Mafia infiltrate their school!

    In the recent weeks a new power has been growing at New Vista. Certain select seniors have been chosen to partake in this "Mafia" that is very secretive and illusive. These Mafia members have been charged with shoving freshman in lockers, taking lower classmates lunch money, graffiti their tags all around new vista, smoking during breaks, stealing mass amounts of cookies during cookie Friday, and finally they have been charged with the harassment of teachers. They have been caught giving Kirk whirlies in the bathroom and they really dislike Kirks policies. This new mafia is petitioning for longer lunches, shorter classes, no math, no science, no L.A., and they want to nominate their leader as the new Principal of New Vista. Inside sources say that their leader is Kermit the frog. He apparently went into hiding years ago when sesame street became lame, he lived in the ghettos of Italy, learning his leadership skills from many mafia leaders. How much power can this mafia acheve? What would this new power bring to New Vista? What can we do to take control again? These are all very serious questions that need to be adressed.

2/13 - New Vista CyberSecurity Increased to Drastic Measures!

This upcoming Thursday everyone is under new rules. We will be monitored and censored at the will of any teacher. Teachers will now be able to see everything we do on our netbooks, computers, laptops, and even ipads! They will have complete control over everything on their internet. We must approach with caution when using Facebook now because you don't want your teachers sneaking into see what your relationship status is. The worst part of all is kirks new toy. Its a monitor that shows every screen on the schools internet at once. He can see what everyone is doing, all the time. No more tumblr. No more pintrist. No more instagram. No more Bloons Tower Defense. You will be under the watch of Kirk and your teachers while you use the internet. They are also now able to take control of our devices and exit what we are doing or censor what we are looking at. Is this right? Many New Vista students think that this is an invasion of privacy and a battle on censorship. We will see where these new Cyber rules will take us in the next years to come.

Warm up 2/6 - New Vista Graduate makes it big! 

Zak Maytum, from the 2009 New Vista graduating class has earned the title as the best long-boarder in history. His last venture was a travel to Peru to go on a 2 lane road going 50mph passing cars in the opposite lane. Zak has won the Maryhill Festival of speed many times and dominates any competitors that face him. He grew up hitch hiking flagstaff during our lunches to master his skills. Now he owns his own wheel and bushing company that he is making total bank off of. He has hundreds of thousands of views on YouTube and his own pro-model long-boards made after him. Zak now owns a Mach 1 Candy Red Mustang. He is now living the life doing what he loves traveling the world to new competitions. 

Warm up 1/30 - Man is so epic, Becomes New World Emperor.

Last Saturday on January 28th, This man - Lance Alota, was discovered in a small village in the slums of India  Lance has a special gift, the gift of epicness. No one throughout history has proved to be as majestic and epic as Lance. Instead of hair he has a built in fuzzy fur coat that keeps him in prime condition. His words that he speaks are magical and provide the world with wisdom and enlightenment. All of the world leaders agreed to give up their power last Sunday, they provided an election for Lance and he was the only competitor. As our new world leader he has provided us all with complementary chocolate mints to all familys and also has provided us with world peace.

Warm up 1/18 - New Vista Hacky Sack League grasp the world cup by its sack.  

We are just one game away from winning the World Foot Hacking championship. Our worthy opponents this year are the Japanese. The Japanese are huge hackers it has been a huge part of their culture for many years. The New Vista team needs support! Both teams have trained their whole life for this exact moment; to claim themselves as the ultimate hacky sackers. We are at a disadvantage this year because it is on Japan's home turf in Tokyo. The New Vista Hackers consists of five members that are taking it to the next level. All of whom have trained their whole life for this moment. One of the offensive players had this to say, "Yeah, I've been practicing about 12 hours a day and everywhere I walk I'm in a constant hack. The Japanese may have skill but we have the spirit and soul." Skeptics have said that our hacky sack team doesn't have the precision compared to the Japanese, however we have a secret weapon up our sleeve. The secret weapon is the newest team member Mike Codrey, he has been an expert hacker for over the past 30 years. He has proved again and again that he can take us to the next level. Mike has been the hope that we have needed this year to keep our team strong and on top. Mike was quoted saying "Yeah i know i'm gonna have them by the sack. They have no idea whats going to hit them!" This attitude is what our team needs to dominate this. The competition will take place Febuaray 21st at 4:00am Mountain time, We are in desperate needs of fans to show up and give support. If your interested in coming to Tokyo for the World Hacking Cup please contact any hackers for a spot on the bus there.

Warm up 1/15 - Kirk resigns, Yvette to take power soon to come.

Outraged about losing their beloved sweater vest wearing principal, the students are furious. Yvette is already taking her new power into full force. In a recent statistics study from Tas and Yvette themselves show that Seniors are the main reason for leaving class, ditching, smoking on campus, and wandering halls without a pass. With this new data on her side it has been rumored Yvette wants to outlaw seniors! She has explained how seniors have the highest drop out rate out of any class and she wants to improve New Vista's analytics by ridding the seniors. What would New Vista be without its beloved seniors? It would be back to middle school that's what. Without Seniors to keep the other students in line freshmen will run rampid through the halls, sophomores will be taken seriously, and juniors would have the responsibility to keep things inline when they can't even keep themselves together. It would be an all school Apocalypse. 

Warm up 1/11 - Mystery Poo Vigilante Still On The Loose!

New Vista has been in great peril in the recent weeks, everybody's been on edge. Watching every step you take, having to prepare for the worst. We have all had the fear of this dreaded bathroom fate, walking in with feces all over the floor. This happened just a month back in the boys bathroom during school. No one is prepared for the raunchy stench and foul images it scars your memories with. Who would do such a thing? I'll tell you. Someone with major problems towards the world. This person had to have planned this out for months in advance, such a complex and personalized attack would have taken a natural genius. This criminal is a menace to the safety of our bathrooms and we must stop him/her at all cost. Here is what a local Senior said about the incident, "Such an attack of this magnitude terrorizes the students of using the bathrooms, it strikes fear to step into any of the bathrooms whenever your in the time of need to relieve." Local Freshmen had different ideas about the attack, he explained, " This Vigilante is a symbol of the rebellion against the common norm man, we need these people to push our limits of humanity, bro!"