Article 1: Apples

Traces of Fruit Found in Cafeteria Apples

    A team of scientists at New Vista high school found actual fruit particles within the apples.

    Students were stunned at the discovery. Many even went into the bathrooms to spit out the apple they were currently eating. The manager at the apple company was consulted, and he stated that the problem will be fixed before the next shipment of apples. He continued by saying that "I don't know what came over my employees. They thought that apples should have apple in them. They don't realize what a health improvement that could have ensued!"

    Andy was interviewed and commented that apples were supposed to have fruit in them, and even went on by questioning the content of apples. His sanity was questioned by the authorities, and he quickly and publicly changed his mind. One student commented on the calamity. "I don't even know whats what any more. Apple in apples. If this doesn't stop, there is going to be cheese and bread in the school pizza."