Michelle's Page
First Day Writing Questions:
Describe yourself as a writer; consider the following questions:
What are your strengths and weaknesses?
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Strengths: Grammar, punctuation, spelling, parts of speech, broad vocabulary.
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Weaknesses: Creativity, inspiration, format.
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What types of writing do you most enjoy?
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Prompted writing, non-fiction, essay form.
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What do teachers say about your writing?
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That I’m good at it. Haha.
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What do you know about satire? What are your thoughts about boundaries and humor--esp. in a
public school?
Satire is a humorous smear of something, such as the Onion; caricaturing people, events and
controversial topics etc.
I personally am a very blunt and straightforward person. I don’t really “fit in” with New Vista ideas
because of being that way. However, there’s a fine line between a burlesque and something
offensive. Each situation should be examined individually.
What makes you laugh?
Well, I make fun of people a lot. Which is funny. I think it’s funny when people make mistakes and
don’t realize it, like with spelling or grammar, so it can be taken differently than if they did it correctly.
Ex.
“My New Years revolution is to be a better person”
This was something I actually saw someone post. And I thought it was hilarious.
To what extent do you follow current events? In what areas? (Possibilities: inter/national or local
politics, sports, pop culture, school events) How do you follow? (on-line, newspapers, magazines,
radio, TV)
This will probably be my downfall. I don’t really follow current events or anything of the sort, I don’t
watch television on a regular basis or read magazines or online articles. So I suppose I am not very
informed on what’s going on in the world - unless someone posts it on Tumblr.
What are your goals for this class?
My goal for this class is to become exposed to methods that I can utilize to creatively write.
1/15 Warm-up
Endangered Kleenex
What is happening to all the tissues around New Vista High School? There have been many rumors
going around school as to where all the tissues are going, and man, word travels almost as fast
as the flu. Some of the rumors include there being a so called “tissue addict” who hoards all of the
tissues and eats them, and we are seeking out this person to get greater “help”. Another rumor is that
the very same “Mystery Pooper” is at it again and needs some supplies to help clean himself up after
yet another accident. However, what seems to be the most popular belief is that, given it is the flu
season, the Kleenex Fairy has come down with the very thing she helps prevent! No one can confirm
or deny these accusations but when we tried to confront her about the issue, she flew away coughing.
Is that evidence enough for us to close this case? Are we going to have to go out and buy our own
tissues until the mystery is solved? Principal Kirk said when asked about this case “For now, until we
get to the bottom of this, every student will be required to wear masks around the school to prevent
the spread of any illness, we simply cannot afford the amount of tissues we would need if more
people get sick.” Does this mean we will be doomed to relieve congestion and runny noses with the
dreaded one-ply toilet paper from the bathroom? But what happens when we run out of toilet paper?
Is New Vista going to be forever impacted by this tissue extinction? Only time can tell.
Save the trees! Do online work.
More and more students are lining up at Cheryl's desk, wanting to add a C.E. But this has never taken as long as it is now, so why is the line so backed up? Our head investigator went down to the scene of the crime to get the scoop. The line was all the way out the teacher office doors! No one knows what to do. "I literally have to fight to get to my desk. All I want to do during lunch is listen to reggae and facebook, but it takes me almost the entire lunch our to get to it!" Kara is running out of hope, and is begging for an answer. After a whole day of pushing an shoving to get to Cheryl's desk, we see a strange sight. Cheryl was not helping them, nor talking to them, no. She was furiously copying down the C.E. books onto the computer, and it looked as if she hadn't made much progress. We tried to confront her but she immediately told us she was busy and to go away. When asked about what was going on, Pfouts admitted "I think this may be partially my fault. I've been urging the students and teachers to go with a more technology based curriculum, and been showing them how to set up pages online, I think that some of my students may have bulled Cheryl into converting all the C.E. files into a computer format." We decided to look further into this, however Cheryl would not budge. Looks like we'll have to wait this one out until she's finished.
NewSheet
Stories/Articles that most interest you and some details about them:
http://surf.transworld.net/1000156816/photos/australia-takes-the-gold-at-the-isa-china-cup/
I LOVE surfing, it is my passion, therefor, I am always interested in surfing competitions. Also, my favorite place in the world is Australia, it has some of the absolute greatest surfers of all time. This article is about the Australians taking gold at the ISA China cup.
Australians Bribe Sharks to Help Them Win
This last week, the Australians took gold in the ISA China Cup surfing tournament. However, it is strange what happened to their opponents. Every time someone went up to catch a wave, they immediately got knocked off their board and got disqualified. Our investigators went to check it out. They ran into a bit of a wall though, and by wall we mean ocean. To get any sort of insider information about this case, they would have to actually get inside. We sent our special scuba detectives into the scene of the crime to get to the bottom of it. What they found was startling, shark homes filled with fish; a feast for when they return home after a long day of swimming. We confronted the first one we saw and asked how they obtained all the fish; “Oh those very nice Australians invited us to watch them surf the tourney, we were reluctant at first because it was so far and we were very busy, but they told us they would pay us in all the fish we could eat- all we would have to do is swim up and bump the boards of everyone who didn’t have the Australian flag on the bottom of their board. It was almost too good to be true! But they followed through” when asked about this, the Australians refused to comment. But when we took a closer look, no one had a flag on the bottom of their board except for the Australians. This case isn’t closed, but the sharks will be testifying in court against them. To be continued!
NEW SHEET 2
http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2013/01/28/fashion/streetstylewedgesneakers-9.html
This slideshow is about wedge heel sneakers that are coming into style- what's next? I like this because it's easy to warp and make fun of.
Work out AND look tall at the same time!
You thought that the evolution of the shoe had ended right? Well think again! Are you short? Are you super embarrassed to even step foot in the gym because of it? Well cry no more! Try the new secret heel sneakers, where you can gain up four inches in height and no one will even notice. Scared people will notice that you have gained a little too much height? Have no fear, these shoes come in progressive heights so you can grow an inch a day. Our scientists are working hard to improve the technology more and more so that you can grow up to a foot, and no one will even notice. Your foot stands at a comfortable 90 degree angle, and with your first pair comes a free set of Dr. Shkulls insoles. So you can combine comfort and height. But wait, there's more. If you order them online right now, we will send you a free pair of "Naturally Tall Secretly Tall Socks" ! So even without the shoes on, you get the tall look you've wanted your whole life, and no one will ever know.
Mike Codrey devours student's lunches during detention
There's a new bully around here at New Vista, and it isn't one of your fellow students. It's our very own Mike Codrey. According to our detention insider Sherise (a regular in room 208 during lunchtime) she brings lunch into detention every day, and Mike stops her and many other students at the door and searches their bags for food. The rumors going around include Mike being half bear, and being that it is winter, the human part of him retreats to hibernation while the bear wakes up and steals food. Likely? Possibly. Another more popular rumor going around is that Mike's Lohan obsession has gone to a new level, he tried mimicking the methods the detention lady from Freaky Friday has in the movie, where she would take students lunch when they come in. But when we came and confronted the man about all of this, we got a surprising result. He broke down in tears and finally produced words "You know, I always tell people to leave their emotions at the door, and I always come off as intimidating and kind of a radass, but the reason for all of that is that I just have a lot of feelings-" (there we go with the Lohan movie quotes) "And so when people are emotional around me, it provokes a lot of my emotions and I break down in tears. My personal rehabilitation method for this is food. They say never eat your feelings away because not only do we swallow the pain, but we swallow the calories too, but it's seemed to work with me, I mean, how am I supposed to survive a whole hour trapped in a room with students who fear me, when I might break down any second? I would lose every bit of credibility I have had, therefor I eat and eat during the lunch hour to curb my emotions, but now all the students hate me for stealing their food and that makes me even more sad!" We were very surprised from this information so all we could think to do was set up weekly appointments with him and the interventionist. We'll keep Mike in our prayers.
Love is in the air here in Boulder as Valentine's day approaches, and we are here to make sure that you don't blow your date by taking your special someone somewhere gross to eat!
Here are the top three and the worst three places to take your date this holiday.
The Best.
1.)
2.)
3.)
The Worst.
1.) Snarf's.
If you take her to Snarf's, she'll want to barf. I went there with high expectations, providing that the restaurant itself is in a quaint building and is seemingly not busy. However, there might be a reason that the place is never busy, if you want your date to have indigestion for the rest of the night, Snarf's is the way to go
2.) Chuck-E-Cheeze
You may wonder why this is on the 'worst' places list. Well, as fun as it sounds to take your date to an arcade while still maintaining the feel of an expensive restaurant, due to the fact that the pizza is $55 a slice.. I would not recommend it. However Skee-ball is fun.
3.) Flagstaff House
Want your amazing night to be romantic and quiet? Flagstaff House is NOT the place for this. The drive is long, the reservations are required WEEKS in advance, the food is overpriced, and it is crowded, and let's be honest, no one ACTUALLY likes tipping. Stay away from this nightmare on your special night.
****IN PROGRESS****