Embedded Files
4th Quarter
New Vista football team celebrates 10th anniversary
BOULDER - New Vista High School, one of boulders smallest schools is celebrating the 10 year anniversary of their “football team”. The team was first brought into the spotlight when coach I. B. Winnin, tried to make a workshop in the 2002-2003 school year, sadly student turnout was so low the workshop was scrapped. For the past 10 years Winnin has been formulating what he calls the “perfect” playbook. He claims “I don’t need a team to make plays, I can watch ultimate frisbee and imagine them as football players.” After all these years of making plays Winnin has finally been rewarded. The first player has officially signed onto the team for the 2013-2014 season. The new player F. Umble had this to say, “Winnin is a great coach and I’m excited to work with him and his playmaking team, I’ve heard great things about them and I’m excited to see how they play!”
New survey suggests seniors superior in “every” way
NEW VISTA - A survey was recently given to the stage 2 students of New Vista High, asking in what ways they felt the seniors were superior to the younger classes. Upon tallying the answers administrators realized that stage 2 students are 100% convinced they are superior to the underclassmen. This has some substantial evidence such as the fact that there wasn’t any poop on the floor while the current stage 2 students were underclassmen. The only unsupported claim is that stage 2 students are better at basketball, seeing as both juniors and seniors lost to the lowerclassmen this year in the basketball competition.
New Vista to run on diesel
BOULDER - A local high school proposes the switch to a diesel generator for power. Students and Administrators at the school are fed up with the unreliability of their current power source, the Boulder Power Company. F. Ibber, a student had this to say “New Vista’s power outages are too frequent, last year during a snowstorm the power went out while I was in the middle of a project, and it took 2 whole hours to get power back. That’s unacceptable, I lost my project and didn’t have time to finish it for my class that afternoon.” The school is asking 3rd World Assist, a group dedicated to providing power for schools in areas with unreliable power sources, to donate a large diesel generator to provide them a “cheap and efficient” means for powering their facility. The Earth Task Force a group dedicated to environmental consciousness at the school hasn’t protested this switch. They are advocating for the conversion of the generator to biodiesel, A much more “reliable” source of power than any passive or renewable sources.
New Vista to introduce pay toilets
BOULDER - After the recent spree of floor poopings at a local high school, the Janitorial staff is striking for a mandatory raise. Students are baffled and don’t know what to do. Every day they stay on strike the bathrooms get worse. Administrators in BVSD have proposed an unusual solution to both problems. Pay toilets, thats right they want to charge you to use the bathroom. Richard “Dick” Tator an administrator said, “with these new toilets we will be able to at least charge students for pooping on the floor, and the money from this will pay for the raises that the janitorial staff have requested. On another note BVSD is also requesting a larger budget from the state of Colorado to provide administrators with a raise as well, because it’s not fair that only the janitors get a raise.” The state of Colorado and the Superintendent have not commented on these proposals.
Local residents claim brunch just “tastier” than the breakfast/lunch alternative
BOULDER - Members of New Vistas PTA are changing their minds about the breakfast and lunch offerings at the school. Many parents and teachers are convinced that brunch is a better tasting alternative to breakfast and lunch. T. Urley a parent on the PTA said, “Students just aren’t buying as much breakfast and lunch as we want. What the PTA wants to do is create a mandatory Brunch period, this class would replace advisory. We believe that having brunch will encourage students to socialize more than advisory, It will also give our lunch staff more to do since so few students stay on campus for lunch.” The new brunch period will offer all the same options available at breakfast and lunch at a marked up price. Students will be required to buy at least one item per brunch period.
3rd quarter
Charter Group: Sports group
TCAP Issue: 2 articles
Issue #3: 1 or 2 articles
Leek News Video: Not interested
CYWTB?
1/8/13
My line got tangled repetitively. I should have practiced using this reel before going fishing.
1/11/13
I was ecstatic due to the fact that it was Friday.
1/18
An Awkward silence fell over the room as Kirk was asked "Did you order the hoo flung poo?"
1/22/13
"You should be proud of your name," Lin said.
Watch out!" she yelled. "do you want to get hurt?"
He shrugged and made a face, "Not really."
1/25/12
My bike had been collecting dust in the garage for at least a year before someone stole it unexpectedly.
1/29/13
Unconfirmed sources are claiming Sarah Palin is trying to enter the Real World house as a GOP candidate. Sources in MTV's production department have claimed that she is trying out a new reality show angle. When did MTV start producing political reality shows more than music?
2/22/13
I enjoyed the story because it came from a woman's perspective. The story revealed many problems and obstacles that a person would be exposed to as a young girl becoming a woman in a third world country, as well as what it would be like to live in that time period.
2/25/13
I watched 3 documentaries recently, my favorite was Back Yard Battle. The producers of Back Yard Battle used interviews, cutaways and a lot of footage to keep it interesting the whole time.
Stories
Issue #3
ETF Proposes Changing Compost Program into Fruit Fly FarmBOULDER,CO - The Earth Task Force at New Vista High School has determined that waiting for compost to biodegrade into soil and then having to grow plants in that soil will take to long to produce food. Hip E. Dood had this to say, "In recent studies fruit flies have been proven to contain large amounts of protein and vitamins for their body size. Currently New Vista is looking for quick and efficient alternative methods of producing food, and since these fruit flies are always hovering around our compost bins we decided it would be important for the school to utilize this valuable natural resource. The cafeteria is currently working on recipes to incorporate fruit flies into our lunch meals. I have heard talk of Fruit fly n' Veggies stew and Quesadillas a la fly, we will be hearing about more recipes soon." So watch out for the cafeteria food folks! The extra vitamins and protein in this new food is also predicted to give kids the energy they need to return their lunch trays in the cafeteria.
TCAP Issue
Big Changes in store for TCAPS
COLORADO - In past years TCAP/CSAP has had many problems with their answering procedure. Proctors petitioned the test writers to change their approach for this year and many to come. There are many changes which should be making their way into the test in years to come. In the writing section writing activities will now be multiple choice allowing you to choose from prewritten sentences to create your responses. Multiple choice answers are also being drastically changed, and now will have multiple correct answers, this is expected to raise the grades of students that just guess as well as possibly teach students something if they don't know the answer.
TCAP snack funds reallocated
BOULDER,CO - New Vista High School has rethought the funding for TCAP snacks this year. The Friday Cookie budget is nearly triple what it was expected to be this year due to students taking multiple cookies, to continue to provide cookies on Fridays the TCAP snack budget has been cut. Since students rarely show up the additional 15 minutes early for snacks, it has been determined that cookies are more important and more motivating.
Issue #2
New Vista Cafeteria to be moved
BOULDER,CO - New Vista a local high school has announced today that they are moving their brand new cafeteria. Dogme At, one of the lunch servers had this to say, "There just isn't enough student support for the location we are in. Students eat in the study center at lunch rather than the cafeteria and leave their trays there so why not add a cafeteria to the study center." Construction costs are expected to be double what they were for the last kitchen and the plan is to remove the computer labs and any remaining books in the study center and convert it into the new cafeteria. The old kitchen and cafeteria will be converted into a yoga studio to be used by new vista classes and rented to local yoga teachers.
Issue #1
Apple releases new, impractical device; everyone wants one
APPLE HQ - A new Apple device has been released today, the selling point for this particular new product is that is has one app for everything. After waiting in the half mile line for 6 hours to get the new iScam, this reporter first laid eyes on it. One satisfied customer said, "It was beautiful, sleek, simple and efficient, the new app really does work for everything!" After buying one myself, I hit the only button on the device. The Apple Store opened, not a web browser or some new interface. The plain old apple store, and they were right, you can buy any device from Apple, you really can do anything from one app. They have done it! Apple made an app for everything! Since the release of the iScam Apple's sales have tripled. The general public is in an uproar about this simple new app that allows you to do "anything you want"
Bored Firefighters hire student to pull fire alarm
NEW VISTA BOULDER,CO - After a long year of fire safety pranks New Vista students have finally determined the cause of our issues. An anonymous student aided the case by providing a note found in the garbage can of the smokers section. The note was written in the hand of BFD's Deputy Fire Chief, and it instructed a New Vista student to pull the fire alarm at specific times, and directed them to a pickup point for a pack of cigarettes as payment. Foul play is suspected of the water company following the broken pipe incident.
City council proposes removal of park benches
BOULDER, CO - The city council is seeking a way to reduce homelessness in Boulder County, recently the town planner from Smoot, WY proposed that the city remove park benches. In a recent city meeting Chad Chaddington of the Beta The U fraternity had this to say "We are taxpaying citizens and we need those benches for sleeping on! when our bros party too hard a city bench is all they need.There must be another way!"
New doorknobs cause equity panic at New Vista
BOULDER, CO - New Vista students began collecting signatures for a new petition today. The petition asks administrators to start a new panel to discuss doorknob changes. Vew Nista, a sophomore, has this to say, "The change of doorknobs wasn't openly debated and was inequitable towards students in the building." So far 10 signatures are confirmed.
The new doorknobs are non biodegradable and cannot be recycled. This has created a huge controversy between the ETF and administrators. "Kirk just doesn't know when to quit." said an anonymous student, "They just keep changing things and asking the students less and less."
Page updated
Report abuse