Tas Loses Namecards, Chaos Ensues
Tas Hendrickson lost her name cards early in the afternoon of Friday, November 7. The distraught math teacher, who claims to have "Put them right there!" could be seen wandering the halls and wringing her hands, talking quietly to herself while her Geometry B class wondered what to do.
Hendrickson, who is very dependent on her name cards for the characteristic classroom atmosphere of resentment, searched her entire classroom frantically just moments before students began filtering in from lunch.
"I looked everywhere!" Exclaimed a frazzled Tas, eyes darting around the room in a last-ditch attempt at locating her cards.
When students began to come in from lunch and seat themselves, Tas' heart began to race. "My hands were sweating, and I had no idea what to do!"
At the start of class, Hendrickson halfheartedly moved some students away from their friends by pointing and grunting. "She looked completely checked out. Her eyes were moving slowly and she was hunched over, mumbling and breathing loudly," says a source.
Manually moving students was not enough of a relief to the teacher, who began to look slightly deranged. She prowled the classroom slowly, glaring around and jerkily handing out worksheets.
Things started to improve slightly when boisterous laughter was heard from the left side of the room. Two students, who will remain anonymous, were talking amongst themselves.
Hendrickson's face turned bright red, and she flipped over two chairs in the back of the room. She let out a blood-curdling shriek and ran from the classroom, clutching at her hair and growling.
"She looked like a zombie," claimed a shaken Lili Martin. “Her eyes were bulging, and her face was all red.”
A team of teachers was called in to subdue Hendrickson. This team, which included Mike, Andy and Marco were forced to carry Tas to an empty classroom with her arms and legs bound tightly.
After a few hours in the makeshift solitary confinement, Hendrickson made a public apology to the school.
“I was out of line,” she stated. “It won’t happen again.”
Tas has remained stable so far, but New Vista will always be cautious around the small but powerful math teacher.
Warm-Up Two (In which grammar and punctuation are almost entirely absent)
Draco Malfoy fails Spanish Three. Could be seen storming about the 100s hallway, muttering furiously to himself and occasionally screaming "my father will hear about this!" Students fled the scene as the Malfoy flailed wildly, swinging at all who dared to approach him.
Warm-Up Three
Pfouts, a much-loved and secretly-feared teacher at New Vista High School, has recently taken to not showing up at all on Thursdays. The fourth day of the week-and Pfouts' self-proclaimed 'day off'- used to just be a slow day where Pfouts showed the same video over and over, eventually becoming a master procrastinator. Recently, however, Pfouts has simply stopped showing up to any classes on Thursdays. His wife, Cara Pfouts, says that he merely sits at home all day, reading the Onion and attempting crosswords which have no solutions.