Warm Up One
Mike volunteers to teach Rural Colorado History-has a nervous breakdown
Mike Codrey, a New Vista High School history teacher, has been admitted to St. Jude’s Psychiatric Hospital after having a nervous fit while teaching a class-Rural Colorado History-for the first time.
“It started the first day,” states a New Vista student who wished to remain anonymous. “He was forced to say the name of the class, and after stuttering through the word rural for twenty minutes, he just up and left. We were all really confused.”
Students in the class say that something like this happened every time he tried to say rural. “He just really hates that word,” says Ellie Sanders, NVHS student.
Codrey’s behavior escalated quickly, from abandoning his classroom on a regular basis to crying every time someone mentioned the class in his vicinity. “I saw him in Diane and Jason’’s office the other day, sobbing on one of Diane’s stuffed animals. He looked pretty distraught,” a New Vista teacher claims.
After only two weeks into the class, Codrey slipped into a psychotic state. He became unresponsive to students and started talking instead to Jane and Jett, two characters only he seemed to see. Mike was last seen being led away from his classroom by a kind-eyed Kirk and loaded into an unmarked van. Sources say he has taken to his new life with gusto.
Warm Up Two
Pfouts' Holds Leek Journalists Hostage- FREEUSFREEUSFREEUS
This may be the last correspondence I'll ever write. The journalists of The Leek need your help-yes, you, the person reading this article right now-to free us from the oppressive tyranny of Andrew Pfouts.