CHRIS MALCOLM'S PORTFOLIO
THE GREATEST STORY EVER WRITTEN
BY CHRIS AKA THE GREATEST AUTHOR EVER TO WALK THE EARTH
Once upon a time there was a princess happily skipping along the edge of a pond. She looked down to see a small frog staring up at her. The frog opened its mouth and said "I'm not really a frog. I'm a prince under a spell. If you kiss me I'll turn back into a prince." The princess picked up the frog and kissed him. The frog said "I was just kidding" and jumped back into the pond.
The Life...Or So It May Seem......Of A Gecko
by Chris with the title by Rachel because Chris was too lazy to make one
CHAPTER 1
Geico the gecko was hungry again. His small body was pressed against he glass, his huge eyes staring forward into Snowflake's cage. He saw the last cricket of the week, a small, frail cricket perched on the rock. Snowflake, the bigger gecko was staring up at it. His lazy eyes rolled upward and focused on the insect's thorax. This is how he spent every day of his life, a comfortable, monotonous existence inside a small cage. But it was better than being in a cage half the size shared with about 5 other albino geckos like himself. At least he was healthy. The cricket was starting to move away now, drawn to the battered carcass of another cricket like himself. Snowflake lifted his head and the cricket disappeared. His jaws flexed, and the insect began to be digested. Eventually Geico became bored with watching the larger, more muscular leopard gecko wipe the entrails of the insect off his lips with his long tongue. Geico was not a leopard gecko. He lived his life in the metabolic fast lane. For a reptile. He looked into the cage to his left. The tiny day gecko was basking as usual, its tiny body not covering a fourth of the small rock. Geico wondered if his friends would be classified as liquids. The little panther gecko at least made the most of his life in a cage, playing with his toys, hunting like an active predator, not spending all day basking in his heat lamp and eating waxworms, the #1 greatest snack known to geckos, like Snowflake does all day. Oh well. Then out of the corner of his eye he saw something reaching into the cage next to his. He saw a huge peach colored object suddenly expanding, and 7 mineral dusted crickets fell from the sky into the seemingly empty cage. Feeding time. The chubby leopard gecko who took residence in the old cage crawled out from under the paper towel bedding in his terrarium. The cage was old and slightly cracked at the top. The screen cover was being held together by tape. It had once belonged to a snake, a two foot long corn snake, then when the snake got a huge new cage in February, the cage was stored in the garage. It was used to house an injured starling in April, then it belonged to Geico. Then in November, Verdi arrived and took over the old cage. Geico was moved into one that was smaller, but it had its own heat lamp. When Verdi died from some sort of sickness later that month, the cage was stored on that same shelf on which she died. Later in the year, the cage had secretly been taken out in the late night. Then it had been returned in the morning, Sunny inside. He stared above the cage, at a photograph of three geckos. One was Snowflake, the large one on the far right. The middle one was him, a small brown creature with elegant white spots adorning his back. Then to the left of him was an even smaller gecko, one that was green and blue, with orange spots splattered over his green back. He remembered a moment when his little friend Verdi was still alive. It was the first day Verdi was there at Geico's house, or, the house of the human who kept him as a pet. Verdi was calming down from the long trip home from downtown Denver. The crickets in her cage were staggering around or hopping to their various dark hiding places. A plant in the cage moved, and a tiny green gecko with bright red spots all over its body dropped out, her large eyes scanning the ground for any potential victims. There was no way that anyone could have thought that this miniscule creature, perhaps an inch long, could take on a cricket half her size. Then Geico saw what was sure to change his view of his tiny friend. Verdi spotted one instantly. Her eyes swiveled in their sockets and focused so hard that it looked like she was going to burn a hole in the soon to be disemboweled body. The little insect noticed. But too late. Verdi struck, her head plowing into the floor of the cage, yanking the cricket off its feet and banging its head on the cold, hard floor. Her tiny teeth clamped down on the cricket's leg like a vice. Pain shot through the cricket's leg, triggering an explosion of pain in the tiny nerve bundle in the head cavity of the insect, a pathetic, mediocre substitute for a brain compared to Verdi's larger control tower for her more advanced nervous system. The bleeding cricket kicked, and shot form the gecko's mouth and hit the hard, sharp rocks of the water bowl headfirst, lay stunned for a second, then began to drag its wounded body away, its leg hanging by a thread of breaking tendon. Verdi once again spotted movement in the rock. Her huge blue eyes locked on the cricket, dragging itself up her basking rock rock. The cricket tried to use its remaining legs to shuffle up the steep edge of the rock, leaving a trail of ultraviolet blood behind it like some wounded alien from Star Trek. Verdi's acute peripheral vision focused on the cricket's body. She sprinted toward the cricket, her legs pumping insanely. The cricket emit a chirp of fright. Verdi took the cricket in her mouth and shook it, like a terrier shaking a rat. The cricket felt a loss of sense in the abdomen. The tiny green killer began to bludgeon the head of the suffering creature on the hard, unforgiving ground. Then the shaking began once more. The head of the cricket made short contact with the rock, a conveniently placed, unnecessarily sharp rock edge plunging deep into the skull like structure that was at one time a head. Then Verdi opened her mouth and the cricket fell on its neck at Verdi's feet, dying painfully. The cricket rotated its head, snapping more vital tendons connected to organs. The insect twitched at what felt like a lung being pulled from its inside. He stared into the heat lamp, to see what had become of the once intact body. Instead he saw a blurred image of what looked like a huge purple cavern falling onto his battered thorax. The stalagmites and stalagtites of this purple cavern stabbed his body, and with another explosion of pain his frontmost right leg was wrenched from its socket. Then he fell from the gecko's mouth again, only to see the neck cocked back, a hot pink tongue washing its entrails from the gecko's lips. The final attack came in slow motion. The gecko's head plunged forward, hitting the cricket with nearly deadly effect. The teeth dug into the ripped open entrails that were seeping out of the exoskeleton of the cricket. The cricket cringed as its remaining antenna picked up the sickening SPLAT of insides hitting the glass side of the cage, propelled out the back of its abdomen from the ferocity of the gecko's bite. The gecko's jaws crunched down, tightening its death grip on the scarred, dented carcass of the cricket. She held her jaws, getting tighter all the time, as if to prolong the cricket's suffering. 30 long, harsh seconds elapsed while the cricket slowly took its last breaths through the blood clogged pores it its bleeding sides. Finally, when she was sure that it was dead, she threw back her head, using gravity to swallow its remaining body parts. One of its legs, amazingly still intact, fell from Verdi's mouth and landed on the ground. Some tan colored, gelatinous liquid began to seep out. Another cricket was gone, its dismembered body slithering down the throat of the little gecko. Another victim dragged chirping in pain down the gecko's foaming gullet, to meet its end in the gecko's stomach cavity. Although it seemed like an eternity for the attack to end, it took a mere 40 seconds, but it would normally take only 20, with all the steps of killing the cricket, had it not been for the cricket's short escape, its short trip toward the light at the end of the tunnel, only to be pulled back down to the crushing blackness of to the stomach of the gecko. Verdi, however was not satisfied. She was still hungry. Geico watched this grim process repeated 3 times more. 3 more victims dragged chirping to their acidic tomb in the belly of the tiny green murderer. These memories were the only things he had to remember Verdi by. Although lots of them were pretty grim and depressing like this last flashback, there were a few happy moments that the two friends shared. And Snowflake, although he couldn't see into the cage, could remember when they had about 7 pictures taken together, and he could look at the photos above him, although he had no idea what they were, the creature in the picture reminded him of Verdi. As Geico became bored again, he returned to the cool, moist retreat under his rock shelter, his stomach full of broken up cricket parts. His chubby tail, round and healthy like it should be, served as a blubbery pillow to rest his head. He was not a fat gecko, but was actually really skinny, but his tail was a fat storage area for him, so he could survive for about 3 weeks without food. The calcium sand beneath him was rough against his scales, but didn't bother him.
CHAPTER 2
Geico woke up a couple of hours later, his stomach churning smoothly. He liked the feeling. He crawled lethargically out of the burrow. He felt a bit chilly. Snow was lightly falling outside. Fat snowflakes were gently hitting the glass of the window, then melting slowly. Geico was staring at. Never before had he seen snow. He gaped in amazement at the translucent white shapes sliding slowly down the glass. The dark sky outside only darkened the already dark room even more. The only light in the upstairs area in the house came from the laptop playing Survivor "Marquesas" in one room, and the powerful heat lamps beating down on the backs of the geckos. Geico peered out of the cage, staring at the empty blackness of the room he was in. A movement in the corner of the room made the small gecko nervous. A sleek black figure crawled into the darkness out of the great expanse of hallway that seemed to stretch for miles outside the room. Snowflake seemed to notice, too. He didn't seem to care. He didn't show the tail twitches and alert nature of a frightened gecko. Geico was about to follow his larger friend's example and remain calm. Then he fled backwards in fright as a puffy, multicolored creature flew through the air and came to a smooth landing in front of the tank. The creature lifted its head and opened its mouth in a yawn. The smell of gravy and turkey made the geckos' eyes water. The animal's eyes, huge and luminous in the dark, were half-closed in a bored, self-centered kind of way. The short, broad muzzle twitched, tired and curious at the same time. Geico stepped forward to see this large, fuzzy animal. Its lips curled into a malevolent smile and it began to bat at the cage with furry paws, claws outstretched. There was a rattle of clawed hands clanking against the glass. Suddenly the door swung open. Light flooded the room. The animal jumped about 3 feet in the air and took a comical landing in a pile of papers and boxes. She tumbled out, covered in string. Her expressive lips were curled into a look of forced cat laughter. She slunk out of the room. She shot Geico a look of anger, a look that said, "I'll be back", then her face softened as she looked at Snowflake's cage into a look of almost love and friendship. Then she looked boredly at Verdi's cage, barely glancing at it before she scurried down the hall, lovingly batting at the heels of the human. Geico crawled back into the burrow. He didn't want to be scared out of his mind by the cat again. He heard a clatter above him. He looked outside the burrow at the white sand. It suddenly turned a light gray color. A shadow was passing over him. He had seen this before. His rock was suddenly lifted skyward and sand fell off it onto him. He was blinded by the heat lamp's light. Then a massive shadow blocked the lamp's glare. A huge head appeared into view as his eyes adjusted. He could see the faint outline of a hand, the same one that had dumped all the crickets into Verdi's cage a month and a half ago. The hand opened and grabbed his body. He was lifted up into the air, past the blinding light of the heat lamp, past the shelf on which he lived, up to a face. The most massive face he'd ever seen, but a face he saw regularly through the glass as it scanned his cage weekly. He saw past the thick forest of awesome hair another human entering the room. The first human, the familiar one, moved his head to the right, so the wall of puffy hair blocked his view again. Then the human twirled around and Geico came face to face with the second human. This one had a different face and hair that was longer but less thick and puffish than the first human's. The second human walked slowly to Verdi's old cage, the cage that now held Sunny. Her eyes scanned the cage to find her. Upon spotting him, she put on a wide grin and uttered something at him in a soft, admiring way. Sunny hid under his paper towels. Geico struggled furiously but the human didn't seem to notice. He began to calm down gradually, knowing in the back of his mind that they meant him no harm. The hand softened its grip, then opened. The people began to talk in their native tongue, then the new one laughed at something the other one said. Their language was nothing like the tail wags and squeaks he used back at PetsMart. He understood nothing of what they were saying. He knew, however that they were not a threat, however scary they seemed. They had never hurt him before anyway. Suddenly he felt a cold hand touch his back scales. His instincts screamed at him to jump, and he did. He hit the ground with a thud. He heard a yell and then felt a blast of air as the hand that held him seconds ago came crashing to the ground next to him. He ran. That was he only defense his instincts could come up with at the moment. He finally reached the couch. The humans were not far behind. He ducked and slid under the couch. He could barely make out a noise that sounded like, "nice, Chris", then heard the more familiar voice yelling, "CRAP!!!" at the decibel level of a plane crash. So the one with the hair the size of my cage is called Chris, Geico found out. He filed this new knowledge away in his memory bank. But now Geico was alone. In the frightening blackness. With no waxworms to eat. (dramatic music)
CHAPTER 3
Snowflake crawled out of his hollow log slowly. His stomach barely touched the sand in his cage, weighed down with waxworms from earlier. He stared blankly into Geico's small tank, then stared through the glass into Sunny's. He spotted a fat waxworm and gulped it down. He shook off a bit of goop from the worm and returned to looking at the cages. Something was not right. Usually at night Geico was running around his cage, feasting on the abundance of crickets inside his small cage. Snowflake stared harder into Khaan's again. Khaan was where he always was at feeding time, in the middle of the floor, killing all the crickets in sight. He saw him lunge at a large one, then swallowing down the twitching insect . Something fell off it as Snowflake crawled away. He looked up into the room he was in and saw three people walking in. Two he recognized, one he had only seen a few times before, mostly in the summer and late fall. They crossed the room and crowded around the bed against the wall. The one who was known as Chris got down on his hands and knees and put his face to the ground, looking for Geico, who was still under the large tan colored bed. He pointed at one end of the bed with a large black stick with light at the end. His thumb moved and the light disappeared with a click. The human tossed the stick to the side. It landed with a clatter. Snowflake wondered what they were doing. They lifted up the couch and began to look under. Under the couch was a cornucopia of candy wrappers, orange peels, and peach pits. And curled up atop one of the peach pits was a tiny little brown gecko about 2 inches in length. Geico took one look at the humans and bolted for the next dark little hole. The hands came crashing down again, trying to pin him to the ground. Geico made a leap for what looked like a ragged brown rock. He hit it and three of his legs, he realized, were dangling into a series of long holes in the rock. It was a heat vent. He decided between going into another dark hole and facing three or four angry humans charging at him, each one roughly 400 times his weight. What choice did he have? He shot headfirst down the hole, narrowly missing some sharp rock things which were actually misplaced screws, and coming to a stop in a pile of very old orange peels. He crawled down the dark tunnel farther, distancing himself from the humans. He crawled for about another hour, occasionally coming to a dead end at a large fan. He wisely backed away when he came to one. He was inside the heating area of the house. He turned another corner to come face to face with another fan. He stepped backwards and rounded another corner. A small light was glowing at the end of the tunnel. He headed toward it, curious and optimistic that it would lead to his cage. He crawled up the tunnel some more and stared hard at the light, deciding where it led. He inched forward some more. There was a slope in front of him and at the top, through several long, thin openings, was the source of the light. As he peered into the room, the light switched off and the room was illuminated by a strange blue glow unlike the first light. It wasn't something that would light up everything around you, but a faint glow against a pale cream colored wall. He tried to climb up the slope but it was too steep for him. He stepped forward some more. His claws wouldn't dig into the rock, which was actually metal. Smooth, cold metal. He moved a little closer. Something crunched under his foot. A shiny flat object slid down the slope. The front was slightly wrinkled, good for climbing on. The words on the front said Capri Sun. Strawberry flavored. Although he couldn't read, he recognized the wrinkles in the surface as a way to get out of the tunnels of the heating system. He gripped the edges of the still sweet smelling sac and began the climb. The sac lurched dangerously. If he fell, three sharp, spiraling screws would gladly await him when he fell. He climbed a little farther up. The sac lurched again, this time losing more of its grip. Now it was beginning to slide. Geico made a leap for another pile of orange peels. Then he realized that they were caught on another screw sticking out of the ground. He reached his leg out to one of the peels, then realized that was a mistake. The sac gave way completely and he found himself falling toward the screws sticking out of the ground.
TO BE CONTINUED..... EVENTUALLY.........
If you didn't figure it out, Geico is in the heating system of the house. He's not dead, as some people have asked me.
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF SOME GUY TRAPPED ON THE BEACH OF BORNEO OR SOME OTHER TROPICAL ISLAND IN THAT GENERAL AREA HUNDREDS OF MILES FROM THE NEAREST LANDMARK OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT SYMBOLIZES SURVIVAL IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM.
AS TOLD BY CHRIS MALCOLM
Daily schedule:
8:00- wake up, stretch, and stare morosely over the huge ocean hoping to see a lifeboat or ship but at the same time telling yourself for the umpteenth time not to be dissapointed to see that the only living thing for miles around is a seagull soaring overhead looking at you and thinking to itself how pathetic you look sitting on a tiny beach looking at it.
8:30- eat a breakfast of fish, berries you found on your island, and water from a small spring.
10:00- wander around the beach looking for anything the sea has washed ashore that may be of some use or entertainment.
11:00- you get hungry and finish off the rest of the fish and berries for lunch.
12:00- you go fishing in the ponds and pools around your island.
1:00- you finish fishing and gather bananas, berries, coconuts, and anything else you can find on the island. If you are lucky you may find a stick or a flat rock for cooking.
2:00- you return home to your shelter of rocks and sticks and amuse yourself by drawing pictures in the dirt and making sand castles or something.
3:00- it's too hot to go out and forage, so you clean up your shelter, throwing out anything you're not using and/or sharpening spears/arrows to use for hunting
4:00- you have a light snack and go into the forest to find some meat. If you are lucky you may find a deer or bird.
5:00- you return to the shelter with whatever you caught and start a fire to cook and spend the next hour preparing a meal of fish and bird
6:00- you begin your meal. You realize you have left the knife (which is really a sharpened rock) in the shelter and go find it, only to come back to see a hungry gull swallowing down your fish which you worked so hard to catch. So you eat the gull instead.
6:30- you clean up and throw anything you didn't eat into a small hole in the ground to use for bait tomorrow
7:00- You take a quick survey of a half mile radius to make sure no poisonous snakes or any other predators are lurking in the area.
8:00- as it gets dark, you put up your fence of sharp sticks around the shelter for protection and get ready for bed.
9:00- now that it's completely dark, you crawl into your bed of sticks and leaves and go to sleep.
12:00-2:00- you wake up somewhere between these times and make sure your bait is OK. As you peer into the darkness, you pray not to see a pair of yellow or green eyes of a clouded leopard or a Sumatran tiger staring into yours. If all is well, you go back to sleep. If not, then I hope you have a very long spear...
FIN.
Part-1
Scene-1
Narrator: During this episode we may cut out small parts. This fine day all started when Bob woke up and decided he would try to die only 19 times today. He was unfortunately wrong and died 91 times.
Bob: Ahhh, what a nice morniiiiing. (crack)(groaning sounds)
Narrator: He ate his breakfast, went upstairs, and took a shower with only a few injuries, then got into his car and drove to his job at Tim's Huge Bear Trap Factory.
Part-1
Scene-2
Narrator: Later, after his day at work and multiple mortal wounds, Bob came home and turned on the radio. The announcer came on and began talking in his usual nasally voice.
Announcer: O.K., welcome back to Z 105. Earlier this week, we came up with a contest. Just give us your name and phone # and one lucky winner will win a tour around the world. We will announce the winner after this song. (our song) Okay, and our winner is...................... BOB FROM DEATH VALLEY, CALIFORNIA.
Narrator: Bob was so surprised that he ran outside and yelled at the top of his lungs
Bob: I just won a trip
Narrator: Suddenly a meteor screamed through the air and plowed him into the ground. (sound effects, scream)
Part-1
Scene-3
(Eye of the Tiger)
Narrator: The next day Bob decided to workout to get ready for his big trip.
Bob: Ugh. These dumb bells are really heavy. What are they like 50 lbs.
Elephant: (Elephant noise.)
Bob: Oh. O.K. This can't be good. (crushing)
Elephant: (Another noise)
Part-2
Scene-1
Narrator: THREE DAYS LATER
Bob: Okay, I'm ready to go to Canada!!
Narrator: Bob got into his monster truck and began driving down the road to the airport. The flight attendant was about 10 feet tall and had foot long claws instead of fingers and growled. Then it dawned on him that...-
Bob: YOU'RE NOT A FLIGHT ATTENDANT!!!!! YOU'RE A BEAR!!!!!
Bear: (Growls and scratching and crushing.)
Narrator: One trip to the Emergency Room later: =D
Bob: I'm finally in Canada!!!!!!!
Narrator: Bob explored some of Canada, like the many buffalo parks, museum of very angry wolverines, and the Glacier of No Return.
Part-2
Scene-2
Narrator: Eventually Bob got on the plane to Africa with only a few broken bones. He enjoyed a flight where the drinks were actually acid and the food was poisoned. There was also a terrorist on the plane who was wielding an AK-47. The plane landed in Nairobi where Bob had the bullets extracted from his head by means of a 13 foot long elephant tusk being driven through his skull.
Elephant: (elephant noises)
Bob: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why didn't you give me anesthesia?
Narrator: Bob decided a while later that he should go on a safari. He got some tickets and hopped aboard the jeep. It was a nice safari and he saw many animals. He looked behind him to see a movement in the grass.
Lion: ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!
Narrator: Bob escaped in about three pieces. Both of his legs were gone. He thought to himself...
Bob: Well, it can't get any worse.
Narrator: He was mistaken.
Wild dogs: (barking, howling, snarling)
Narrator: The pack of dogs left the scene, a pair of arms dangling grotesquely from their mouths
Bob: Well, I know now that there's no way I can get more injured.
Vultures: (squawking)
Narrator: He was mistaken as the rest of his body was carried off by the vultures.
Narrator: Bob recovered eventually and limped onto a plane flying to Europe. He decided to visit Spain.
Part-2
Scene-3
Narrator: Now Bob thought he would be much more safe in Spain but really he would soon be severely injured by multiple bulls. Bob saw a large red sign written in Spanish. Some English subtitles read: Running of the bulls today. As some rumbling in the distance grew nearer, Bob began to sprint through the city yelling, "Oh Crap!!!" at the decibel level of a plane crash.
Bob: ¡Mierda!
Narrator: The massive bulls were faster than Bob, however, and he was trampled into the ground.
Narrator: Bob was soon tired of being annailated and once again limped onto a plane but this time to go to Australia. The flight attendant was again 10 feet tall and had huge claws.
Part-2
Scene-4
Narrator: He decided to go to Australia and experience one of Steve Irwin's many safaris.
Steve Irwin was thrilled to take Bob on a safari. They went through the most deadly parts of the outback, like the mangroves, deserts, and Bob got to feed Acco, the largest crocodile in the reptile park.
Bob: Hey, Steve, this massive crocodile is looking at me funny. What do I do??? He looks like he wants to...
Crocodile: (crocodile noises, crushing, snapping)
Narrator: Bob got his arms back eventually and
WE DIDN'T FINISH
DESERTED ISLAND PROJECT
The Cast
These are the people in your group:
1. The Pilot- age forty-six, big and strong. Owner of most of the supplies.
2. The Co-Pilot- age twenty-nine, wiry and strong, but clumsy also.
3. The Surgeon- age thirty-four, average in size and strength. Brilliant with medicine and sciences (including chemistry and physics).
4. The Actor/Actress- age thirty, strong, but a trifle lazy.
5. The Fisherwoman- age twenty-four, very strong. Good skills with cooking, sewing, organizing.
6. The Millionaire- age thirty, severely obese, slow, but good resourceful. Good with economics, budgeting of resources, and accounting.
Millionaire (Erica):
Lazy and cocky
feels like the leader of the group
thinks that she should get special treatment
very pushy
yells a lot
is annoyed by the pilot because she has all of the supplies
is amazed at the craftsman's skills
does not like to work
hates shy people
wears a black t-shirt that barely fits over her fat, disgusting stomach and a jean skirt that reveals her 2 foot wide thighs
passes gas periodically
4 feet, 10 inches tall
weighs a whopping 400 pounds
thinks that it is all the pilot's fault that we crashed
thinks that the sergeon id too "useful"
thinks that co-pilot makes too many jokes
CO PILOT AKA CHRIS
.TALL AND THIN BUT STRONG
.AWESOME, THICK, SHINY, HAIR WHICH EVERYONE IS IN AWE OF
.CAN BE VERY HARD WORKING BUT PREFERS NOT TO BE
.SOCIAL AND GETS ALONG WITH PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE
.OK A BASIC COOKING, BURNS ANYTHING MORE DIFFICULT TO COOK THAT PANCAKES WITHIN SECONDS OF CONTACT WITH FRYING PAN. ALSO BURNS PANCAKES AS WELL AS HIS FINGERS FROM TIME TO TIME
.HAS VAST KNOWLEDGE OF THE NATIVE PLANTS/ANIMALS BUT IS COMPLETELY HOPELESS IN MATH AND OTHER MORE NECCESARY BUT LESS INTERESTING SUBJECTS
.SPEAKS 3 LANGUAGES: ENGLISH, SPANISH, AND WHATEVER LANGUAGE(S) IS/ARE SPOKEN ON THIS ISLAND
.IS ABLE TO HUNT, FISH, AND GATHER FOOD BUT PREFERS NOT TO
.ANYONE WHO MAKES HIM FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT OR DISSES HIS HAIR OR REPTILES OF ANY SORT DOES NOT REMAIN IN ONE PIECE VERY LONG AFTER THAT
.BREAKS PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING HE TOUCHES
.HAS GOOD ENDURANCE (NOT LIKE RUNNING AND PUSH UPS BUT IN HARSH SITUATIONS)
.IS OBSESSED WITH REPTILES AND IS NOT AFRAID TO PICK UP AND REMOVE ANY POISONOUS SNAKES OR HUGE MONITOR LIZARDS FROM CAMP
.MAKES JOKES A LOT, SOMETIMES DOESN'T KNOW WHEN TO STOP. EVERYONE BESIDES WHOEVER HE'S MAKING FUN OF THINKS IT'S FUNNY
Actress - Manas
Thinks the co pilot needs a reality check
Thinks the Carpenter is ugly
Stupid, skinny
Is really really hyper and prone to randomness and pain in the arm
Thinks that he should be leader of the island
Has absolutely no life.
hates himself and shoots himself with the flare gun.
Pilot:
Becki:
Gets grumpy when i don't have food.
Is EXTREMELY protective of belongings.
has dreams of shooting the carpenter
Thinks i should be the leader
Jokes alot
gets hyper really easily
Absentminded
Knows how to weave baskets underwater
Tells you what is on my mind--doesn't lie to make you feel better.
thinks the co-pilot needs a hair cut
wishes she has a smaller butt and is trying to catch a lepruchaun
Surgeon: Vera
Irritable
Witty
Doesn't eat much
Sensitive
VERY social
Stays awake long
Confident in work
Lazy in the morning
Tells mind too much
Carpenter Homie: Aaron
Sort of like a camel because he can go days without eating, but then eats like a walrus
Brings everyone's mood up, or down, to HIS
Favorite movie: How to make a house/boat out of the fuselage of an airplane
Easily irritated by people that are annoying
Can easily count to eleventeen
Prefers to work a lot and then sleep for 9-12 hours
Stubborn
Likes shiny objects
Is plotting to steal the knife and ax from the pilot
Needs to be respectful to the person with the gun (the pilot) ((becki)) (((the one u said wished had a bigger butt and is trying to catch a leprachaun???)))
Despises the fisherthing and everything IT stands for
5. The Fisherman- age twenty-four, very strong. Good skills with cooking, sewing, organizing.(Tommy)
Hates the craftsman.
Friends with the millionaires
Thinks that the craftsman is a mean person who will never have a chance.
Wears a leather jacket with a bright blue shirt and jeans.
Also has a backpack with some fishing baits and stuff in it.
IS a nerd
Thinks that co-pilot has the worst haircut on earth, even though he is a great headbanger.
Goals:
General Goals:
What are your immediate goals as a group, that is, what do you think needs to be done in your first week on the island?
I think that we should try to build a shelter and establish who will do what jobs/chores- erica
WE SHOLD PROBABLY START BY BUILDING A SHELTER, MADE PRIMARILY OUT OF STUFF THAT CAME OFF THE PLANE WHEN IT CRASHED
Food
What are your mid-range goals as a group, that is, what do you think needs to be done in the second through eighth weeks on the island?
we should try to get along and make a daily schedules-erica
leadership by voting. Speeches and no one can vote for themself.
What are your long-range goals as a group, that is, what would you like to strive for in the long-run (over eight weeks)?
entertainment, games, competitions, a completed "home"-erica
To include everyone in every single decision-becki
some sort of power
Political Goals:
How will decisions that affect the group be made?
With everyone's opinion in an organized way and settle on a decent way without arguing.
Who will make these decisions?
Everyone, starting with the pilot's opinion.
How will these decisions be enforced if violated?
Constant surveillance until trust is earned
How will problems be solved?
A team decision on the solution.
What other "rules for living" will you make? Why?
We each have a job to do daily or weekly, based on the talents of certain people.
Economic Goals:
What jobs will need to be done? How will you decide who does each job?
GATHERING FOOD,GATHERING WATER, DOING LAUNDRY, WORKING ON A SHELTER,
How will you decide how to divide up the belonging that you have now? Who gets to "own" or "possess" them?
WE WILL HAVE EVERYONE OWN EVERYTHING, LET EVERYONE USE EVERYTHING. BUT LIMIT THE BULLETS TO ONE PER PERSON.
What "rules for ownership and possession" will you make for things that will be made or found in the future? Why?
How will the possesions be divided up?
Other Goals:
Will you make rules for marriage and families? Why? If yes, then what will those rules be?
no there will be no rules because it wont happen-becki
Landscape
What does your island look like?
Squarish island with a small lagoon in the middle. Heavily forested, and humid.
What are the major features that affect your society?
FORESTS, LAGOON, THE OCEAN AROUND THE ISLAND.
What if's:
What if one of your group members is injured and is unable to work?Then he gets a break and takes a rest.
What if a very contagious disease breaks out?We will drink lots of water and hope for survival.
What if someone dies?We will try to give them a proper burial and continue to survive. and give them a funeral.
What if the bugs annoy us?We won't die as long as were not naked
If a large fire burns up our wood and a large amount of the forest and some of our huts? Why would we need food. We would use the rest for building our house.
What if someone gets lost?We will wait a few hours and if someone does not come back then we will all search
If somebody goes crazy and/or insane and tries to kill us all?Pilot will smash him with a steel tank and all of us hold him/her down while the surgeon operates.
8. What if all of the food on the island was used up?We catch fish and everyone depends on fisherman.
9. You can still fish some more, but where does the meat and other protein come in? We don't need more protein. Fish has all the protein that we need.
10. What if a forest fire happened and burned up all of your resources and wood?Then we would get more wood from the forest and makes more resources.
11. What if a tsunami hits?We would clean up and look, we find some things that the water brought in including a not broken life boat!!!
12. What if a heat wave hits? We would take shelter. And whoooh, we just happened to collect lots of food the other day!
13. What if there is a sever dose of loneliness in the group? We will play with them and make them less lonely. The actor can help entertain.
14. What if there is a major argument in the group? We might get in a fight and stuff, but worst case scenario we lose a member
15. What if we start to lose strength and become very weak?We recover by drinking lots of fluids and eating lots of food.
16. What if the fresh water gets contaminated?We use a plant that the surgeon found do decontaminate it. OR BOIL IT
17. What if all of the food goes bad? We will go in search of more food including fishing.
18. What if someone goes crazy?The pilot will stop him with a tank and everyone holds him down while the surgeon operates.
19. What if an alligator attacks? An alligator? Why will an alligator attack? We would use a flare gun with the poison that the surgeon found.AN ALLIGATOR??? A SALTWATER CROCODILE IS MORE LIKELY!!!!
20. What if a troop of monkeys steals some if not all of the food? Then we go kill them and get our food back.
21. What if a vicious tiger attacks?There are no tigers
22. What if we run out of paper?What do we need paper for?
23. What if someone goes to live with the monkeys and refuses to come back? Then we let them live with the monkeys.
24. What if someone can't swim and falls into the rushing river? Then we wait until they get to the ocean and then get them.
25. What if there is treasure on the island we go crazy? Blow it up in the volcano
26. What if half the people go on a scouting trip and never come back? we send out a couple people to look then stop after a coupLe of days
27. What if we find birds who like to drop poison from a plant on our food?Use the force. Or the gun.
28. What if we run out of clothes?I guess we are all going to be streakers...we make clothes out of plants???EWWWW or the seats on the plane That is logical
29. What if someone breaks every bone in their body? We Kill them, eat them and then we take their food and skin for protection from the ancients.
30. What if your house/hut gets ruined in the storm? We build another one!!!
31. What if there is an earthquake? we will take shelter in the fusealage and hide under the seats.
32. What if someone hoards food?Then we punish the millionaire by no food for 3 days, or more, based on how much food they eat.
33. What if there is a lightning storm?We hide in our shelter and wait it out.
34. What if someone deserts the group? Then it is their choice to come back or not, the chores will be passed on to someone else.
A pair of yellow, glowing eyes snap open. The eyes are large, sharp, intelligent, focused yet wandering. The eyes of a gecko. Slowly she moves to another leaf, her toe pads clinging to the moist surface. She peers into the darkness of the forest. A moth floats by just a few inches away from her head. She focuses her eyes on the moth’s wings, her sharp peripheral vision locks on the insect as it flutters by her face. She is one of a subspecies of rare spearpoint leaftail gecko, uroplatus henkeli. As she closes her eyes, her stub of a tail twitches. The moth’s eyes, taking up 50% of its head, rotate from the addicting juice of the lotus blossom to the not so addicting sight of an open mouth clamping down upon its thorax. The gecko sits on her leaf, another moth dissapearing down her throat. Another moth, larger this time, makes the mistake of landing on the same flower that still was vibrating from the impact of the gecko’s jaws. The moth takes in the same sight as its unfortunate neighbor: a large yellow and orange mouth lunging toward its frail body. As the gecko continues to slice the moth up by means of its little yellow teeth, it detects a rumbling sound. The tree is moving in irregular spasms, too strong to be wind. Another gecko, a day gecko, whizzes by the tiny leaf tail. She looks down. An ocelot gecko, a member of the bighead gecko family, kicks up dust as it runs. The vibrations grow stronger. The sound of something or another fills the once quiet air. Like a bee but worse. The sound, so loud and harsh, is total agony to the gecko’s sensitive ears. Then the vibrations come to an abrupt halt. The tree sways once, then begins to fall. The gecko recoils as a colubrid snake barely misses her leg as it plunges onto the darkness below. A crash is heard as the reptile hits the ground violently. Then the tree stops falling for a second. There is a sudden stop as the tree hits another, then keeps going. The gecko emits a squeal as the force of a severed branch knocks her off the leaf. She lets fly a bark when she is falling, falling, falling, into the dark leaf litter. She sees a tiny Brookesia chameleon pass out next to her. Its tiny brain couldn’t take any more stress. She feels a hand clamp around her. She is lifted up to the head of something completely unknown to geckos of that forest. A flat, bearded face gring in delight. Into a bag she goes, sruggling and biting the hand that holds her so tightly. She can’t move. She can barely breathe. And she is hurt. Bruised from the hand that crushed her ribcage, cut from landing on the ground from a 20 foot drop. And the normal aches and pains from living in the wild. Days later, she ends up in a room filled with bright lights and noise and the barks of other geckos, not her species. It drove her insane. She tried to flee, but runs into nothing. Her snout suffers a sharp crack as she hits some invisible force field between her and freedom. Again she backs up and runs at the end of fthe table she is on. But again the psycic wall of energy holds her back. She’s in a cage. In a reptile show. In America. Thousands of miles away from Madagascar.
This is what so many poor geckos experience when they are taken from their habitat. Every day more and more places like Madagascar are destroyed. And it’s not just geckos that suffer. Chameleons, lemurs, insects like butterflies and hissing cockroaches, frogs, foosas (like in the movie Madagscar) and birds all die every day from deforesting. Every second, half an acre of rainforest is destroyed. That’s 30 acres per minute. And 1200 acres an hour. If you haven’t already seen Aaron’s story you will see this in his too. We need to do something about this. Take lemurs, for example. They are found nowhere else in the world. If you’ve seen the movie Madagascar, look at the lemurs there. Like King Julien, their weird king, and Mort, the tiny, tiny little mouse like animal, is a lemur too. And Maurice, the grumpy, negative little guy. Do you want them all to go extinct?? DO YOU?!!? And the rest of the wonderful wildlife there. Like geckos.
Rainforests are really important. They give us oxygen. Lots of oxygen. We can’t survive for more than about 5 minutes without oxygen. And a lot of everyone’s favorite foods come from the rainforest. Like bananas, coffee, peaches, and CHOCOLATE and that sort of thing come from certain plants in the rainforest. And a lot of really cool animals which people like a lot live there. Like butterflies and jaguars and and monkeys and birds and Cetaphorys Ornata and other such things. We really need to do something about this problem. Eventually, if left alone, the rainforests would be obliterated so fast it’s not even funny. And geckos rule.
We need to do something about the rainforests of Madagascar and all the animals in them. If we don’t, they will be destroyed and all the things in them will just be a memory that a lot of people never got the opportunity to experience. There will be no more lemurs, foosas, tenrecs, or wild pigs. No more frogs, toads, snakes, and salamanders. No more agamids, normal lizards, geckos, monitors or chameleons. And no more parrot, hummingbirds, songbirds, or waterbirds. And the beautiful rainforests of Madagascar and the rest of the world will vanish. And they will all be turned into things like badly painted chairs that no one buys and cheap paper towles. Do you want rainforests to turn into badly painted chairs and cheap paper towles? And geckos still rule