Sunday Family Humour 7th September Page 2

Sunday Family Humour 7th September Page 2

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

Future Headlines 2050

Thanks to Lee

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Canada ’s third language.

Children from two-parent, married, heterosexual families bullied in schools for being 'different'. Tolerance urged.

Brampton schoolgirl expelled for not wearing Burqa. Sharia law must be enforced.

Japanese announce they will no longer consume whale meat as all whales are now extinct and workers in scientific "research fleet" are unemployed.

Canadian Government advises Japanese that Grey and Black Squirrels taste like whale meat.

Canada 's deficit $20 trillion and rising. Government declares will return to surplus in 100 years; 300 years ahead of schedule. Prime Minister Mohammed Yousuf claims increased growth through more immigration is secret to success.

Iran still quarantined. Physicists estimate ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

Canada Post to raise price of stamp to $28 and reduce mail delivery to alternate Wednesday mornings only.

After 10-year, $175.8 billion Gov’t commissioned study, scientists prove diet and exercise are key to weight loss.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates civil and human rights. Victims to now be held partly responsible for crimes.

Canadian Liberal party, with aging leader Justin Trudeau, introduces new law requiring all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers to be registered by January 2055 as lethal weapons.

Revenue Canada sets lowest personal income tax rate in decades at 75 per cent.

Calendar Modelled by Seniors

Thanks to Lee

A German Retirement Community Did A Calendar Where Seniors Amazingly Recreated Famous Movie Scenes.

The Contilia Retirement Group in Essen, Germany made what is probably the best calendar ever with a few of their seniors.

According to German press, 5000 calendars were printed. And they were given out to residents of the senior center, along with relatives and staff.

The calendar models were interviewed about the project and said it was a ton of fun to dress up as their favorite actors.

The shoot was done with professional stylists and photographers to make sure everything looked as cool as possible.

The oldest senior involved with the calendar was 98 years old!

JANUARY

James Bond

Wilhelm Buiting, 89

FEBRUARY

Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Marianne Brunsbach, 86

MARCH

Titanic

Erna Rütt, 86, und Alfred Kelbch, 81

APRIL

Rocky

Erwin J. von der Heiden, 80

MAY

Mary Poppins

Erna Schenk, 78

JUNE

The Seven Year Itch

Ingeborg Giolbass, 84, und Erich Endlein, 88

JULY

Blues Brothers

Margarete Schmidt (r.), 77, und Lothar Wischnewski 76

AUGUST

Cabaret

Martha Bajohr, 77

SEPTEMBER

Giant

Joanna Trachenberg, 81, und Horst Krischat, 78

OCTOBER

Saturday Night Fever

Irmgard Alt, 79, und Siegfried Gallasch, 87

NOVEMBER

Dirty Dancing

Johann Liedtke, 92 und Marianne Pape, 79

DECEMBER

Easy Rider

Walter Loeser, 98 und Kurt Neuhaus, 90

Hug of the Century

Thanks to Lee and Paula M.

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Not so smart - we're they?

Thanks to Tony H.

Not so smart - we're they3

This is Africa

Thanks to David H.

The year was 1955

Thanks to Paula M.

Did you hear the post office is

thinking about charging 7 cents just to mail a letter?

If they raise the minimum wage

to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.

When I first started driving, who

would have thought gas would someday cost 25 cents a gallon? Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage.

Did you see where some baseball

player just signed a contract for $50,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the President.

I never thought I'd see the day

all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They're even making electric typewriters now.

It's too bad things are so tough

nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet.

It won't be long before young

couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.

I'm afraid the Volkswagen car

is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business.

Thank goodness I won't live to

see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to government.

The fast food restaurant is

convenient for a quick meal, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.

There is no sense going on short

trips any more for a weekend. It costs nearly $2.00 a night to stay in a hotel.

No one can afford to be sick

anymore. At $15.00 a day in the hospital, it's too rich for my blood.

If they think I'll pay 30 cents for a haircut, forget it.

Know any friends who would get a kick out of these, pass this on! Be sure and send it to your kids and grand kids, too

Italy

Thanks to Lee

Italy

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