Sunday Family Humour 25th January Page 2

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

Murder Mystery

Thanks to Bryan W.

(a true story)

For those who have served on a jury...this one is something to think about. Just when you think you have heard everything!!

At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, (AAFS) President, Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story:

On March 23,1994, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide.

He left a note to the effect indicating his despondency. As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly.

Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been installed just below the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.

The room on the ninth floor, where the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun! The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger, he completely missed his wife, and the pellets went through the window, striking Mr. Opus.

When one intends to kill subject 'A' but kills subject 'B' in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject 'B.'

When confronted with the murder charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant, and both said that they thought the shotgun was not

Loaded. The old man said it was a long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her.

Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, assuming the gun had been accidentally loaded.

The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal

Accident... It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother...

Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the murder even though he didn't actually pull the trigger. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.

Now comes the exquisite twist....

Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald OpusHe had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten-story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window.

The son, Ronald Opus, had actually murdered himself. So the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.

A true story from Associated Press.

Russian Sobriety Test

Thanks to David M.

Broken Signs

Thanks to Bert N.

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Berlin and Hitler 1939-40

Thanks to Bryan W.

Berlin 1939-1940

Packard Motor Home

Thanks to Bert N.

1937 Packard Motor-home. It was the only one built.

The couple standing by it are the owners.

He bought it for $16,000 about 10 months ago.

It had been in a garage for many many years.

He polished and waxed it and put on a clear coat of paint.

Did some minor engine work and it started right up.

It has 40,000 miles on the speedometer.

He was offered $300,000 but didn't take it.

Rally Compilation

Thanks to Ray O.

One of the best rally action compilations you'll see

Hilarious Laws

Peter H.

Law of equality:

The time taken by a wife when she says I'll get ready in 5 minutes is exactly equal to the time

taken by husband when he says 'I'll call you in 5 minutes!

Law of Telephone:

When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy tone.

Bath Theorem:

When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Theatre Rule:

People with the seats at the farthest from the entry arrive last.

Law of Proposal:

After you accept a proposal you will get a better one...

Law of getting late:

When you reach early for something it will never start on time.

Law of Mechanical Repair:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Law of Encounters:

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with

someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Bio mechanics:

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of Queue:

If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster

than the one you are in now.

Law of the Workshop:

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

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