Sunday Family Humour 19th October Page 2

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

Catholic Shampoo

Thanks to Connie P.

Two nuns were shopping at a 7-11 store.

As they passed by the beer cooler, one nun said to the other,

"Wouldn't a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?"

The second nun answered, "Indeed it would, sister, but I would not feel comfortable buying beer,

since I am certain it would cause a scene at the checkout stand."

"I can handle that without a problem," the other nun replied,

and she picked up a six-pack and headed for the check-out.

The cashier had a surprised look on his face when the two nuns arrived with a six-pack of beer.

"We use beer for washing our hair" the nun said, "back at our nunnery, We call it Catholic Shampoo.

Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter,

pulled out a package of pretzel sticks, and placed them in the bag with the beer.

He then looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled, and said: "The curlers are on the house.

Magic and Ballet in China

Thanks to Paula M.

Where does she hide it all?

Odd Pictures from Various Readers

She said "Put it in the oven at 70 degrees"

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Wedding Photos

Thanks to Paula M.

“EACH MORNING WE AWAKEN WITH THE GIFT OF TIME.”

Thanks to Paula M

Imagine that you had won the following Prize in a contest:

Each morning your bank would deposit $86,400 in your private account for your use.

However, the prize comes with rules.

Here they are.

1. Everything that you don’t spend during each day would be taken away from you.

2. You may not simply transfer money into some other account.

3. You may only spend it.

4. Each morning upon awakening, the bank opens your account with another $86,400 for that day.

5. The bank can end the game without warning and at any time.

The bank can close the account and you will not receive a new one.

What would you personally do?

Here’s an educated guess.

You would likely buy everything you ever wanted. Not only for yourself, but for all the people you love and care for.

You’d likely even buy things for people you didn't know because you couldn't possibly spend all the money on yourself.

You would likely try to spend every penny and use it all, because you’d know that it would be replenished the next morning.

Well, this game is “ACTUALLY” real!

Each one of us is already the winner of this prize. Most people just can't seem to see it.

The prize is TIME.

Each morning we awaken to receive 86,400 seconds as a gift of life.

When we go to sleep at night, any remaining time is not credited to us.

What we haven't used up that day is forever lost.

Yesterday is forever gone.

Each morning the account is refilled but the bank can dissolve your account at any time without warning.

The question is what will you do with your 86,400 seconds?

These seconds are worth so much more than the same amount in dollars.

Think about it and remember to enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than you think.

Take care of yourself, be happy, love deeply and enjoy life!

Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are.

When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you. – Lao Tzu

People Who Will Make You Feel Like a Certified Genius

Thanks to Tony H.

The guy who doesn't know how to block the Sun

The girl who can't pump gas

The person that thinks they drive a shopping cart

The person that is wondering why their bike is always stolen

The person that shouldn't have passed their road test

The man that forgot how to open an umbrella

The guy who is more concerned about his hair's safety

This singer that forgot how to hold the mic

See, you're smarter than you thought.

Downtown Airport

Thanks to Paula M.

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