Sunday Family Humour 14th December Page 2

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

Drinks for everyone

Thanks to Tony H.

A rich Arab walks into a bar and is about to order a drink, when he sees a guy close by wearing a Jewish cap, a prayer shawl/tzitzis and traditional locks of hair. He doesn't have to be an Einstein to know that this guy is Jewish. So, he shouts over to the bartender so loudly that everyone can hear, "Drinks for everyone in here, bartender, but not for the Jew over there."

Soon after the drinks have been handed out, the Jew gives him a big smile, waves at him, then says, "Thank you!" in an equally loud voice.

This infuriates the Arab. He once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Jew. As before, this does not seem to bother the Jewish guy. He continues to smile, and again yells, "Thank you!"

He does this once again for the third time, but not the Jew again. The Arab gets real cranky so he asks the bartender, what the hell is the matter with that Jew ? I've ordered three rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar, all 100 of them but him, and all the silly bugger does is smile and thank me. Is he nuts?

"Nope, replies the bartender. "He owns the place."

Back in The Sixties

Thanks to Spike (Florida)

Animal Party Season

Steven B,

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Incredible Chinese Gymnasts

Thanks to Lee

Dog Family Portraits

Thanks tp Spike (Florida)

Dog Family Portraits

WORLD WAR II ESCAPE

Thanks to Bert

B-17 "All American" (414th Squadron, 97BG) Crew

Pilot- Ken Bragg Jr.

Copilot- G. Boyd Jr.

Navigator- Harry C. Nuessle

Bombardier- Ralph Burbridge

Engineer- Joe C. James

Radio Operator- Paul A. Galloway

Ball Turret Gunner- Elton Conda

Waist Gunner- Michael Zuk

Tail Gunner- Sam T. Sarpolus

Ground Crew Chief- Hank Hyland

In 1943 a mid-air collision on February 1, 1943, between a B-17 and a German fighter over the Tunis dock area, became the

subject of one of the most famous photographs of WW II. An enemy fighter attacking a 97th Bomb Group formation went out

of control, probably with a wounded pilot, then continued its crashing descent into the rear of the fuselage of a Flying Fortress

named "All American", piloted by Lt. Kendrick R. Bragg, of the 414th Bomb Squadron.

When it struck, the fighter broke apart, but left some pieces in the B-17. The left horizontal stabilizer of the Fortress and left

elevator were completely torn away. The two right engines were out and one on the left had a serious oil pump leak. The vertical

fin and the rudder had been damaged, the fuselage had been cut almost completely through connected only at two small parts of

the frame, and the radios, electrical and oxygen systems were damaged. There was also a hole in the top that was over 16-feet long

and 4 feet wide at its widest; the split in the fuselage went all the way to the top gunner's turret.

Although the tail actually bounced and swayed in the wind and twisted when the plane turned and all the control cables were severed,

except one single elevator cable still worked, and the aircraft miraculously still flew!

The tail gunner was trapped because there was no floor connecting the tail to the rest of the plane. The waist and tail gunners used

parts of the German fighter and their own parachute harnesses in an attempt to keep the tail from ripping off and the two sides of the

fuselage from splitting apart.

While the crew was trying to keep the bomber from coming apart, the pilot continued on his bomb run and released his bombs over the target.

When the bomb bay doors were opened, the wind turbulence was so great that it blew one of the waist gunners into the broken tail section.

It took several minutes and four crew members to pass him ropes from parachutes and haul him back into the forward part of the plane.

When they tried to do the same for the tail gunner, the tail began flapping so hard that it began to break off. The weight of the gunner was

adding some stability to the tail section, so he went back to his position. The turn back toward England had to be very slow to keep the tail

from twisting off. They actually covered almost 70 miles to make the turn home. The bomber was so badly damaged that it was losing altitude

and speed and was soon alone in the sky.

For a brief time, two more Me-109 German fighters attacked the All American. Despite the extensive damage, all of the machine gunners were

able to respond to these attacks and soon drove off the fighters. The two waist gunners stood up with their heads sticking out through the hole

in the top of the fuselage to aim and fire their machine guns. The tail gunner had to shoot in short bursts because the recoil was actually causing

the plane to turn.

Allied P-51 fighters intercepted the All American as it crossed over the Channel and took one of the pictures shown. They also radioed to the

base describing that the appendage was waving like a fish tail and that the plane would not make it and to send out boats to rescue the crew

when they bailed out.

The fighters stayed with the Fortress, taking hand signals from Lt. Bragg and relaying them to the base. Lt. Bragg signaled that 5 parachutes

and the spare had been "used" so five of the crew could not bail out. He made the decision that if they could not bail out safely, then he would

stay with the plane to land it.

Two and a half hours after being hit, the aircraft made its final turn to line up with the runway while it was still over 40 miles away. It

descended into an emergency landing and a normal roll-out on its landing gear.

When the ambulance pulled alongside, it was waved off because not a single member of the crew had been injured. No one could believe

that the aircraft could still fly in such a condition. The Fortress sat placidly until the crew all exited through the door in the fuselage and

the tail gunner had climbed down a ladder, at which time the entire rear section of the aircraft collapsed.

This old bird had done its job and brought the entire crew home uninjured.

I love these old war stories, especially the ones with a happy ending !

Ambulance Drone

Thanks to Spike (Florida)

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