Sunday Family Humour 28th December

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

Embarassing Moments

Thanks to Ray O'.

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak

- the last one is great!

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back...

Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly,

‘How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'

I turned around and walked back out and never went back

My husband didn't say a word...he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.

I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.

After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen

who work at the store. He asked if he could help me.

Without thinking, I looked at him and said,

‘I think I like playing with men's balls'

THIRD TESTIMONY

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts.

As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.

I replied, ' No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'

My sister started to laugh hysterically.

The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.

To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?

My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.

One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands it was very busy,

with a full dining room.

While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean.

Then realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go,

and he said ‘No’... I kept thinking ‘Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have

any clothes with me.' Then I said, ‘Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'

'No,' he replied.

I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.

Soooooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny did you have an accident?

This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled

‘SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'

While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,

he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.

An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.

What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!

We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed

and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:

'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

********************************************************

"Good friends are like stars... You don't always see them,

But you know they are always there.

******************************************

Swiss hang drum

Thanks to Forbidden Knowledge TV

This duo, known as Hang Massive, playing on the streets of Stockholm

appears to be well-known in the underground dance music scene.

They have clearly been practicing hard and can do some amazingly

coordinated things with chunks of metal!

David M's Gallery

Thanks to David M.

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I Am the Very Model of a Biblical Philologist

Thanks to Ray O'.

Noah's Ark in Hong Kong

Thanks to Paula M.

Noah's Ark in Hong Kong

The Noah's Ark Theme Park, complete with fiberglass animals,

sits in front of the Tsing Ma Bridge in Hong Kong

The tourists go in two-by-two:

Biblical scale: The Ark in Hong Kong measures 450 ft. long and 75 ft. wide.

Water sight: The Ark also boasts less authentic Biblical Touches

Such as double-glazed windows and a Fine Dining Restaurant.

The Billionaire Brothers who Built the Ark in Hong Kong

Claim it is the Only Full-Scale Version in the World.

And the imaginative trio even attempted to give the giant boat

an air of authenticity by placing 67 pairs of animals at the entrance,

just like the pairs of creatures saved from the Great Flood by

Noah in the Bible Story.

The Creationist-Inspired Vessel forms part of a theme park

near Hong Kong which was Inspired by a young girl's

Scrawled Drawing of the Mammoth Boat.

Architects appear to have used some artistic license in parts

of the Ark - for instance including double-glazed windows, a

fine dining restaurant and luxurious bedrooms.

Inside, real-life exotic animals can be found - including a nautilus,

a toucan, and reams of fish.

All lit up: The Ark shines under Hong Kong's lights as a

Fiberglass Giraffe stands guard near the entrance.

Authentic: Various fiberglass animals stand outside the Ark

to mimic the Bible tale where Noah took creatures on board the vessel.

The Noah's Ark Theme Park is now run by several Christian

organizations, who use it to promote peace and unity.

Matthew Pine, manager of Noah's Ark Theme Park, said:

'They had a vision to do something remarkable, something

outstanding. 'They came up with many ideas.

Some of them were really outrageous!'

'But then they came across this girl's drawing, and knew it

would be something do-able that captured imaginations. 'So they

hired architects and engineers to create the replica, Noah's Ark.'

Food for thought: The Ark also includes a sophisticated-looking

Restaurant as one of its on-board attractions.

Bed for the night: Guests on board Noah's Ark can also stay

on the Biblical vessel in one of its luxurious hotel-style rooms.

Land-bound: The Hong Kong-based Noah' sArk theme park

was built in 2009 and is popular among tourists.

Matthew added: 'The reason we chose that moment in the

Bible's story is because this is the message we want to bring

to Hong Kong, to China, to the world.

'In our lives we always face floods, we will face trials, we will

face difficulties. Hopefully Noah's Ark will inspire people to

pass through those troubles as Noah did in his day.'

The Ark opened in May 2009, 17 years after plans

were first made for the enormous structure.

Hope you too enjoyed having seen this masterful creation

The Okoboji Classic Car Experience

Thanks to Bert N.

Lake Okoboji is a popular vacation and recreation spot in northwest Iowa,

including an amusement park named Arnold’s Park.

It has some beautiful old cars in it,

along with recreations of storefronts and the way Arnold’s Park looked in the ‘50s and ‘60s.

The Roof Garden was a well-known dance hall,

drawing people from long distances to dance to big-name rock & roll bands.

US Air Force Christmas Flash Mob

Thanks to Paula S.

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