Sunday Family Humour 13th July

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

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Do You Know The Front From The Back Of A Tree?

Thanks to Tony H.

    A Redneck From Georgia Decides To Travel Across The South  To Virginia  To See God's Country.
When He Gets To Franklin , He Likes  The Place So  Much That He Decides To Stay.
But First He Must Find A  Job!!!!

    He Walks Into The International Paper Company Office And  Fills Out An Application As An Ii Experienced Log Inspector. It's His  Lucky  Day!!! They  Just Happen To Be Looking For Someone,
But First,  The Log Foreman  Takes Him For A Ride Into The Forest In The Company  Pickup Truck To  See How Much He Knows.

    The Foreman Stops The Truck On The Side Of The Road And  Points At A  Tree
"See That Tree Over There? I Want You To Tell Me  What Species It Is And How  Many Board Feet Of Lumber It Contains."
    The Redneck Promptly Answers, "That Thar's A Whitepine,  383 Board Feet  Of Lumber In  'Er."

    The Foreman Is Impressed!!! He Puts  About A Mile Down The Road.
He Points At Another Tree Through The  Passenger Window And Asks The Same Question.
This Time,  It's A Bigger  Tree Of A Different Class.

    "That's A Loblolly Pine And She's Got About 456 Clear  Board  Feet."

    The Foreman Is Really Impressed With The Good Ol' Boy,
He  Has Been  Quick And Got The Answers Right Without Using A  Calculator!!!!

    One More Test. They Drive A Little Further Down The  Road, 
And The Foreman Stops Again. This Time, He Points Across The  Road Through His  Driver Side Window And Says, "And What About That One?"

    Before The Foreman Finishes  Pointing, The Redneck Says,  "White Oak,  242 Board Feet At Best."

    The Foreman Spins The Truck Around  And Heads Back To The  Office A  Little Ticked Off Because He Thinks The Red Neck Is  Smarter Than He  Is.
As They Near The Office, Another Foreman Stops The Truck  And Asks  Bubba To Step  Outside. He Hands Him A Piece Of Chalk And Tells Him, "See That Tree Over There?" "I Want You To Mark An "X"On The Front Of That Tree!!"

    The Foreman Thinks To Himself, "Idiot, How Would He Know  Which Is The  Front Of The Tree?"

    Bubba Reaches The Tree, He  Goes Around It In A  Circle While  Looking At The Ground. He Then Reaches Up And Places A  White X On The  Trunk. Walks Back To The Foreman And Hands Him The Chalk. "That Thar's  The  Front," The Redneck Says.

    The Foreman Laughs To Himself And  Asks Sarcastically,  "How In The Hell  Do You Know That's The Front Of The Tree?"
    
    The Good Ol' Boy Looks Down At His Feet, While Rubbing The Toe Of His  Left Boot Cleaning It In The Gravel And Replies, "Cuz  Somebody Took A  Shit Behind It!"

    He Got The Job.



Alpine Scenery

Thanks to Lee

Alpine Scenery



Why Women Have Handbags

Thanks to Ray O'.

Why Women Have Handbags



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David M's Gallery

Thanks to David M.

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Trees With Character

Thanks to Ray O'.

Trees with character



National Geographic Video Photography

Thanks to Paul S.

National Geographic Living Music Action



Inventions that Make Sci-Fi a Reality

Thanks to Tony H.

Many of us have grown up imagining what the future will be like. Will there be flying cars? Will there be robots? Will we be able to do amazing and extraordinary things?
Well, some of these things are yet to come, but some are already right here. The amazing things technology can do today never cease to amaze me. Here are 17 pieces of evidence that prove we area already, at least partly, living in a futuristic world.

The Ratheon XOS 2 is a second generation exoskeleton design for US army use. It allows the wearer to enhance his strength to carry heavy equipment much easier and for much longer.
futuristic                                                             things
 
The world's first virtual shopping center opened in Korea. All the products are just LCD screens that allow you to order the items by touching the screen. When you get to the counter, your items are already bagged and ready to go.
futuristic                                                             things
 
A cellphone you can bend as much as you like and it will still do everything a smart phone does.
futuristic                                                             things
 
Your personal computer ring can play music, check your email, give you alerts and even allows you to browse or chat with others.
 
This man is demonstrating the ability of his prosthetic eye, which has a camera installed in it.
futuristic                                                             things
 
No longer using the camping stove just for cooking, a new line of camping stoves use the heat energy to power up lights and charge your phones or anything else you can charge by USB cable.
futuristic                                                             things

This trash can follows you around and calculates where to stand to catch your thrown garbage!
 
This motion tracking table morphs its surface to mimic your movements, allowing you to control objects from the other side of the planet if you so choose.
 
This windowed door turns opaque whenever you lock it.
 
This incredible app translates signs from video and in real time!

The new 'Google Fiber' has started deploying, and will offer users an internet connection that is about 100 times faster than what they are currently using.
futuristic                                                             things
 

When did car panels start looking like this advanced?
futuristic                                                             things
 
A stop sign using water to project the image
 
An example of the new E-Ink in action. An ink that stay flat on the page and can be printed but still moves on the printer page.
All of the functions these items that we used 20 years ago... Are now done by a single smartphone.
futuristic                                                             things
 
New casts can be printed with a 3D printer, are lighter, more comfortable and just as strong.
futuristic                                                             things

Bionic hands are now so advanced they can perform even delicate and complex movements.
 



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