Sunday Family Humour 20th July

Sunday Family Humour 20th July

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

Definite definitions

Thanks to David H.

CIGARETTE: A pinch of tobacco Rolled in paper With fire at one end And a fool at the other!

MARRIAGE: It's an agreement Wherein A man loses his bachelor’s degree

And a woman gains her masters

LECTURE: An art of transmitting Information From the notes of the lecturer

To the notes of students Without passing through the minds of either

CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes

he got the biggest piece

TEARS: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!

CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on

ECSTASY: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before

CLASSIC: A book which people praise, but never read

SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight!

OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life

YAWN: The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth

EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their mistakes

DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell

in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip

OPTIMIST: A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER Says in midway

"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

MISER: A person wWho lives poor so that he can die RICH!

FATHER: A banker pProvided by Nature

BOSS: Someone Who is early when you are late and late when you are early

POLITICIAN: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence later

A Video Everyone Needs To See

Thanks to David M.

Good Advice and Beautiful Birds

Thanks to Paula M.

To receive the weekly link to the latest Sunday Family humour,

send an email to dgwest7@gmail.com

saying subscribe Sunday Family Humour.

No costs, nothing else needed. Welcome and thank you

A Little Poem, so true it hurts!

Thanks to Paul S.

Another year has passed

And we're all a little older.

Last summer felt hotter

And winter seems much colder.

There was a time not long ago

When life was quite a blast.

Now I fully understand

About 'Living in the Past'

We used to go to weddings,

Football games and lunches..

Now we go to funeral homes

And after-funeral brunches.

We used to have hangovers,

From parties that were gay.

Now we suffer body aches

And wile the night away.

We used to go out dining,

And couldn't get our fill.

Now we ask for doggie bags,

Come home and take a pill.

We used to often travel

To places near and far.

Now we get sore asses

From riding in the car.

We used to go to nightclubs

And drink a little booze.

Now we stay home at night

And watch the evening news.

That, my friend is how life is,

And now my tale is told.

So, enjoy each day and live it up...

Before you're too damned old!

Cooking Secrets By Ma

Thanks to Paula M.

To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes

Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.

When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

Go to the bakery! Hell, they'll even decorate it for you!

Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

Celery? Never heard of it!

Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! All your pains go away!

Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Leftover wine??????? HELLO!!!!!!

French Alps

Thanks to Lee

French Alps

25 reasons to not ride the bus

Thanks to David H.

25 reasons to not ride the bus

Did you Enjoy This Page?

Please click +1