Sunday Family Humour 18th January Page 2

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

Mysteries to Exercise the Mind

Thanks to Bryan W.

Mystery one

A man was found murdered Sunday morning. His wife immediately called the police.

The police questioned the wife and staff and got these answers:

The wife said she was sleeping.

The cook was preparing breakfast.

The gardener was gathering vegetables.

The maid was getting the mail.

The butler was polishing shoes in the pantry.

The police instantly arrested the murderer.

Who did it and how did they know?

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Mystery two

A man walks into his bathroom and shoots himself right between the eyes

using a real gun with real bullets.

He walks out alive, with no blood anywhere and no, he didn't miss and he wasn't Superman

or any other crusader wearing a cape.

How did he do this?

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Mystery three

Poor Mr. Teddy was found dead in his study by Mr. Fiend.

Mr. Fiend recounted his dismal discovery to the police:

"I was walking by Mr. Teddy's house when I thought I would just pop in for a visit.

I noticed his study light was o n and I decided to peek in from the outside to see if he was in there.

There was frost on the window, so I had to wipe it away to see inside.

That is when I saw his body. So I kicked in the front door to confirm my suspicions of foul play.

I called the police immediately after-ward."

The officer immediately arrested Mr. Fiend for the murder of Mr. Teddy.

How did he know Mr. Fiend was lying?

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Try to figure these questions before looking at the answers below.

1. It was the Maid. She said she was getting the mail but there is no mail delivery on Sunday.

2. He shot his reflection in the bathroom mirror.

3. Frost forms inside of the window, not the outside.

So Mr. Fiend could not have wiped it off to discover Mr. Teddy's body.

Robbie Madison's Drop In

Thanks to FKTV

In a jump for the record books, Robbie "Maddo" Maddison, also

known as the modern-day Evel Kneviel attempts yet another

death-defying aerial feat, as he takes over the Utah Olympic Park

in Park City, Utah, a setting that is more improbable and impressive

than ever.

First, he takes his motorcycle on a spin around the Luge Course. Then

he does something that almost defies description, for a guy riding a

motorcycle.

"Maddo teamed with Skullcandy and Red Bull Media to show the world what

it truly means to DROP IN.

DETAILS:

Speed at Launch: 71 MPH

Jump Distance: 114 Meters / 374 Ft

Vertical Drop: 185 Ft /18.5 stories

[World Record]/

I Can Fix That

Thanks to Ray O'.

I can fix that

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Never Give Up

Thanks to Peter H.

WHEN THINGS GO BAD, always remember : It could be worse.

NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP. Keep working on your speech and your life.

NEVER LOSE YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR. Laugh at yourself, laugh with others.

STEM DEPRESSION by thinking of, reaching out to and helping others

DO UNTO OTHERS as you would have them do unto you.

PRAY, not for God to cure you but to help you help yourself.

Firewood Splitter - Check This Out

Thanks to Nancy C.

CONSIDER THIS

Thanks to Ronald H.

~Your kids are becoming you......but your grandchildren are perfect!

~Going out is good.. Coming home is better!

~You forget names.... But it's OK because some people forgot they even knew you!!!

~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything like golf.

~The things you used to care to do, you aren't as interested in anymore, but you really do care that you aren't as interested.

~You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV 'ON' than in bed. It's called "pre-sleep".

~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch..

~You tend to use more 4 letter words ... "what?"..."when?"... ???

~You notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!

~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.

~Everybody whispers.

~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet.... 2 of which you will never wear.

~~~But Old is good in some things: Old Songs, Old movies, and best of all,OLD FRIENDS!!

Stay well, "OLD FRIEND!" Send this on to other "Old Friends!" and let them laugh in AGREEMENT!!! It's Not What You Gather, But What You Scatter That Tells What Kind Of Life You Have Lived.

TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN; YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE, SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LAST

Nailed The Landing

Thanks to Chris P.

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