Sunday Family Humour 31st August

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

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Perfect Timing

Thanks to Eleanor S.

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets in and the cabbie
says, "Perfect timing.  You' re just like Frank."
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. He was a terrific
athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He danced
like a Broadway star; and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was someone really special."
Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's
birthday. He could fix anything. Not like me, I change a fuse and the whole street blacks out.
But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right."
Passenger: "Wow! Some guy."
Cabbie: "He never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman. His clothing
was always immaculate, shoes polished too. He was the perfect man! No-one could ever
measure up to Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died. I'm married to his widow."



Canine Humour

Thanks to David H.
 
Canine 1
   
Canine 2

 
Canine 3
   
Canine 4


 
Canine 9

   
Canine 6

 
Canine 7
   
Canine 8

 
Canine 10
   
Canine 11

 
Canine 12
   
Canine 13



People of the Senior Generation

Thanks to Steven B.

People of the Senior Generation



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Words with two Meanings

Thanks to Ray O'P.

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.

Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
 
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. 
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. 
Male..... Playing football without a cup.
 
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. 
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a golf trip with the boys. 
 
4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n.
Female..... A desire to get married and raise a family. 
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one. 
 
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. 
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
 
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. 
Female.... An embarrassing by-product of indigestion. 
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
 
7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve. 
Male..... Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it. 
 
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. 
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

AND; 
 
He said.... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. 
She said.... You wear pants don't you?

He said..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
 
She said... That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
 

He said..... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said ....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
 

He said..... Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said..... Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.



FORD AIRPLANES

Thanks to Ray O'P..
 
 
This was six months BEFORE Pearl Harbor. 
Henry Ford was determined that he could mass produce bombers just as he had done with cars,
so he built the Willow Run assembly plant in Michigan and proved it. 
It was the world's largest building under one roof at the time.
 
 
This film is amazing … one B-24 every 55 minutes, and Ford had their own pilots to test them! 
ADOLF HITLER HAD NO IDEA THE U S WAS CAPABLE OF THIS KIND OF THING.  

Ford Airplanes



David M's Gallery

Thanks to David M.

 
David M 1
   
David M 2


 
David M 3
   
David M 4


 
David M 5
   
David M 6

 
David M 7
   
David M 8


 
David M 9
   
David M 10


 
David M 13
   
David M 14


 
David M 11
   
David M 12

 
David M 15
   
David M 16






Things You See Every Day In Dubai!

Thanks to Paul S.

Things You See Every Day In Dubai!




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