Sunday Family Humour 26th October

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

Psychiatrist and Proctologist

Thanks to Ray O'.

Best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.

Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist; they put up a sign reading: Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors. The town council was livid and insisted they change it.

The docs changed it to read: Schizoids and Hemorrhoids. This was also not acceptable so they again changed the sign to read Catatonics and High Colonics - no go.

Next they tried Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives - thumbs down again.

Then came Minds and Behinds - still no good. Another attempt resulted in Lost Souls and Butt Holes - unacceptable again! So they tried Nuts and Butts - no way.

Freaks and Cheeks - still no good. Loons and Moons - forget it.

Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with:

Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones - Specializing in Odds and Ends.

Everybody loved it.

Jim's Jokes

Thanks to Jim R.

BIRD FLU SYMPTOMS

The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird flu. If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment immediately:

1. High fever

2. Congestion

3. Nausea

4. Fatigue

5. Aching in the joints

6. An irresistible urge to poop on someone's windshield

DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to

go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under

the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check."

"Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog. He won't bother you. But,

whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!"

"I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!"

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he

discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just

as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman

go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant

yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain

himself any longer and yelled,

"Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"

To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"

Reindeer Water Crossing

Thanks to Paula M,

3,000 Arctic Reindeer Face a Mighty Water Crossing..... across 1.5 Definitely Worth Watching! Elle-Helene, a young girl from northern Norway, leads the dramatic migration of 3,000 reindeer miles of water to new pasture.

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Relax and Enjoy

Thanks to Lee

Fabulous pictures

Relax and Enjoy

17 Flowers That Look Like Something Else

Thanks to Ray O'.

The flowers below all have two things in common:

They're beautiful, and they remind the human eye of something else entirely.

These are flowers I would love to have in my garden or in my house,

they are just stunning works of art by nature.

Monkey Face Orchid (Dracula Simia)

Moth Orchid (Phalaenopsis)

Naked Man Orchid (Orchis Italica)

Hooker's Lips (Psychotria Elata)

Dancing Girls (Impatiens Bequaertii)

Laughing Bumble Bee Orchid (Ophrys bomybliflora)

Swaddled Babies (Anguloa Uniflora)

Parrot Flower (Impatiens Psittacina)

Snap Dragon Seed Pod (Antirrhinum)

Flying Duck Orchid (Caleana Major)

An orchid that looks remarkably like a tiger

Happy Alien (Calceolaria Uniflora)

Angel Orchid (Habenaria Grandifloriformis)

Dove Orchid Or Holy Ghost Orchid (Peristeria Elata)

White Egret Orchid (Habenaria Radiata)

The Darth Vader (Aristolochia Salvadorensis)

An Orchid That Looks Like A Ballerina

NATURE IS AMAZING & ASTONISHING....

Loading a Truck in Style

Thanks to David H.

Funny and clever

Don't mess with Old People

Thanks to David M.

One time I got sick and landed in the hospital.

There was this one nurse that just drove me crazy.

Every time she came in, she would talk to me like I was a little child.

She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, "and how are we doing this morning?"

Or.... "are we ready for a bath?" Or... "are we hungry?"

I had had enough of this particular nurse.

One day at breakfast, I took the apple juice off the tray and put it in my bedside stand.

Later I was given a urine sample bottle to fill for testing. So you know where the juice went!

The nurse came in a while later, picked up the urine sample bottle, looked at it and said,

“My, my, it seems we are a little cloudy today.”

At this, I snatched the bottle out of her hand, popped off the top, and gulped it down, saying,

"Well, I'll run it through again. Maybe I can filter it better this time!"

The nurse fainted... I just smiled!

DON'T MESS WITH OLD PEOPLE... You'll lose every time

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