Sunday Family Humour 30th November Page 2

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

Old Pilot

Thanks to Murray S.

The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub just outside the Air Force base.

A grizzled old retired Navy fighter pilot, wearing a faded baseball cap emblazoned with a squadron patch, along with his tattered leather flight jacket with several more squadron and wing patches, was standing near the edge with a fishing rod, his line in the puddle.

A curious young Air Force fighter pilot came over to him and asked what he was doing.

“Fishing,” the old Navy pilot simply said.

“Poor old fool. Another dumb Navy fighter pilot” the Air Force officer thought. And so he invited the ragged old timer into the pub for a drink.

Sipping his Chardonnay semi-sweet white wine and watching the old Navy fighter jock drinking a Johnny Walker Black label scotch whiskey, he felt he should start some conversation. The haughty Air Force fighter pilot asked, “And how many have you caught?”

“You’re the eighth,” the old Navy fighter pilot answered.

The Honey Badger

Thanks to FKTV

A Honey Badger named Stossel, lives on display in a South African wildlife

sanctuary - but on his own terms, as he demonstrates the uncanny

intelligence of the Mustelidae family of mammals, to invent new ways to

escape his exhibit enclosure, over and over again, using anything from mud

balls to rakes, to the amazement of his keeper, who marvels at his tenacity

and how much fun he seems to be having, in mocking the humans'

attempts at locking him up. Needless to say, Honey Badgers are not on the

Endangered Species list.

The Isle of Sark

Thanks to Lee

Isla de Sark

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Through the Eyes of a Dog

Thanks to David M.

A WOMAN was flying from Melbourne to Brisbane ...

Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sydney.

The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes..

Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind.

A man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye Dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.

He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, 'Kathy, we are in Sydney for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?'

The blind lady replied, 'No thanks, but maybe Max would Like to stretch his legs.'

Picture this:

All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog!

The pilot was even wearing sunglasses.

People scattered.

They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!

True story...

Have a great day and remember...

...THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR.

Other Things to Consider

Thanks to Ronald H.

Other Things to Consider

Twenty Ways to Maintain Sanity

Thanks to Ronald H.

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on

and Point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks.

Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favors"

7. Finish All Your Sentences With "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't Use Any Punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party

because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Hard.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling

"Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner.

"Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......

20. Copy this and Send an E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile..

It's Called Therapy...

The Budweiser Clydesdales

Thanks to Lee

An eight minutes compendium of half a dozen Budweisser Clydesdale horses

in stories created mainly for Superbowl.

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