For 4 people
Obtain* some NJ live (hard shell) blue claw crabs RIGHT FROM THE WATER (you won't see them otherwise) - allow at least 3 to 4 per person - they must be live, kicking, biting, fighting and running around if they get out of their bushel or bag, or, heaven forbid, if you drop one.
1 Bay leafl
1 - 2 Tbsp ground coriander
1 T dark mustard seed or dark bottled horseradish mustard
Boil water in your biggest soup pot and add the herbs and spices (the classic is to use Old Bay instead, but I don't keep it around.) Using tongs, place the crabs one by one - or one by 2 if they're holding on (its good to wear shoes) into the boiling water so that the water does not stop boiling. Add any claws that came off. When you drop one, don't let it get away - be sure there's no spaces to the sides of the stove or any place else for them to crawl into. Boil until the last one turns red - about 5 minutes or more. Remove each one from the pot and place into a roasting pan to dry. Cool at room temperature on a windowsill, then place in the fridge till cool - this will take 2 or three hours at least.
Take the entirety of last Sunday's paper, spread it out completely across the table, place the crabs in the middle, and serve with ice cold seven ounce Rolling Rock beers (small ones won't warm up.)
To eat:
1. pull the small claws off, break the big joint with your finger and squeeze out that meat with your teeth;
2. pull the big claws off, crack them with a tool, pull out and eat the meat. Snap the jointed bottom of the claw to use as a pick;
3. place the shell in one hand and palm the crab with the other, placing your thumb into the hole of the big claw to pull the top shell off and discard it. next, clear off the gills from the top of the carcass (called dead man's fingers because, it is said, if you eat them you will die) and clear away anything that does not look like crab meat from the center. then snap the carcass in the middle, remove the appendage from the bottom and break in half. Crush each side and pull out and eat the meat
4. Drink some beer.
5. Repeat.
When all the crabs are gone, wrap up the paper and toss the mess out. (You need paper so the shells won't poke through your plastic garbage bags.)
* To obtain, go crabbing. See the comments for how this is traditionally done. For now, read the instructions, because, unless you visit a crab house in Baltimore, this is usually the only way to get them.
CRABBING INSTRUCTIONS
1. take a small rowboat (with a motor is ok) with low sides out into the low flats of Barnegat (or Chesapeake bay if you are in MD)
2. tie a weight to a string of sturdy cotton twine, tie 1/3 of a moss bunker to it, drop it to the bottom (3- 4 feet at low tide, or another few deeper at high tide) and leave it alone while you make the next rig. Once you have completed a half a dozen of these, say 5 or 10 minutes you can retrieve your crabs.
3 retrieve by VERY slowly pulling up on the line, finger by finger, hand over hand. If there is a crab, a few feet from the water surface you will see a white outline. If you see it, grab your net, and very slowly, as you retrieve your crab, put the net into the water and scoop it up from underneath. Dump it into a bushel container with a lid.
4. Have an ice cold beer. Repeat till you have enough crabs to take home.
Alternately, you can cheat and use wire traps, bigger boats and chicken backs like the tourists or buy 'em from the guys that occasionally bring crabs for sale in one of the local the fish stores.