Get 2 soft shell blue claws in-season (very short)
Find - or make - Dad's Cajun dry rub (mine, someplace, or find the recipe to make it)
Clean and dry crabs as follows: remove upper shell and lower flap, the non-white parts and dead man's fingers (gills)
Mix 1:1:1 rub, wondra (flour) and club soda (lemon with no sugar is fine) into a thick batter and dip the crabs to cover
Heat 2T veg oil and 1T butter in a cast iron skillet hot but not smoking
Smash 1 clove garlic and roughly chop 1/2 small shallot (an equal amount) and place in the hot oil
Fry 2 crabs to to deep brown on one side, then the other
Drain on paper towels.
1/4 C mayo plus one 1/2 cucumber smashed with seeds reserved 1 and 1/2 t wasabi powder, 1 t lemon, 1 t minced parsley and a pinch of salt. Correct thick with strained cuke-seed juice, thin with more mayo, bitter with salt, sour with sugar, and sweet with lemon juice. Remove the last bit of bitter with soy sauce. Blend and warm before service.
This was one for the record books - fast, difficult and incredibly good...
(I have tried to do aoli from oil but have always failed - its the one cheat here, but I/m working on that...)